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This must mean I am not THAT repulsive right?

HansonGirl

By HansonGirl
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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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Hun, he probably just used you for sex...thats it...end of story...no need to read into things so much

 

Why are you allowing him/this situtation to tear down your self esteem???

 

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

 

well he didn't have to be so MEAN about it. i've been used for sex before but the guy didn't rub it in my face. he just ghosted.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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And perhaps he didn't 'use' you per se. It could have been that the two of you just felt like it was a good idea at the time.

 

It's so sad that you have made this into far more than it ever should have been and are tearing yourself down with it.

 

I know, it's embarrassing. :-(

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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well he didn't have to be so MEAN about it. i've been used for sex before but the guy didn't rub it in my face. he just ghosted.

 

He ghosted?

 

I thought you said he keeps pushing to be friends?

 

Did you read my last post? He wants *friends with benefits*.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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well he didn't have to be so MEAN about it. i've been used for sex before but the guy didn't rub it in my face. he just ghosted.

 

Hang on, are you saying that him wanting to be your friend was MEAN? Sweetie, you need to come back down to earth.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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He ghosted?

 

I thought you said he keeps pushing to be friends?

 

Did you read my last post? He wants *friends with benefits*.

 

no sorry - i meant the other guy who has done that - it was like rippin' off a bandaid.

Yes i saw your post- maybe you are right, but he never made any attempts after that, so that's why i didn't think that was a case - except for that one time he kept coming back to our friend's place like 3 times in a row after leaving but I refused to even look at him - but i think he was trying to get my attention that time. I was just still hurt and embarrassed with how he rejected me. he sure has a lousy way of initiating friends with benefits - i dont think being mean is the most effective way.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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Hang on, are you saying that him wanting to be your friend was MEAN? Sweetie, you need to come back down to earth.

 

no - not that - i mean the other stuff. He knows he was mean because told me once "i know i'm an a#$hole."

tinkerbell16 Established Member

tinkerbell16

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Everybody is going to meet at least one person that gets the better of us at one point or another.

 

It even happened to me a couple of times. And I'm the greatest.

 

When I enter a room (or a thread ;)), all of the commoners raise their grubby little hands in the air and say to themselves "this is what a man looks like. What a hero - like Mandela or something". Little do they know that I've been played before like the common fool!

 

If it happened to me, it can certainly happen to you.

 

Learn from it, and grow.

 

Don't live in the past.

 

 

It's the bare chested photo... it commands an audience when it "enters" the room lol

Dis Established Member

Dis

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well he didn't have to be so MEAN about it. i've been used for sex before but the guy didn't rub it in my face. he just ghosted.

 

People can be jerks...s*ht happens...but why are you projecting his actions onto yourself???

 

His actions tell you about him...they dont tell you much about yourself

 

If you truly feel like a repulsive person....you will attract people who will treat you as such

 

Maybe some therapy would benefit you. Get to the core reason why this issue is hurting you so much

 

I feel bad you think so poorly of yourself...and all because of this one guy/one time situation

 

Hun, boost yourself up alittle...think of yourself as being worthy of the things you want and deserve out of life....I think therapy would help you accomplish that

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tinkerbell16 Established Member

tinkerbell16

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no - not that - i mean the other stuff. He knows he was mean because told me once "i know i'm an a#$hole."

 

A#$holes = guys who have sex with woman (ie get what they want) then put them on back burner (let's be friends) to manage down the girls expectations (set them on the back burner) creating enough insecurity in the girl so she is eager to prove her worth (ie have even better sex) when they need more sex.

You know the answer dear, he told you himself... he is an a#$hole.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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People can be jerks...s*ht happens...but why are you projecting his actions onto yourself???

 

His actions tell you about him...they dont tell you much about yourself

 

If you truly feel like a repulsive person....you will attract people who will treat you as such

 

Maybe some therapy would benefit you. Get to the core reason why this issue is hurting you so much

 

I feel bad you think so poorly of yourself...and all because of this one guy/one time situation

 

Hun, boost yourself up alittle...think of yourself as being worthy of the things you want and deserve out of life....I think therapy would help you accomplish that

 

maybe you are right. I hate to say it, but i think he had an effect on me partially because he was attractive, and every time i see a picture of him on facebook or whatever, he still looks really attractive. (not fair). if he lost his looks, or something about him was unattractive, i think i'd have moved past this by now--at least a little better. because my ex did some bad things but i'm over that - and i am not attracted to him anymore. I was very very attracted to this guy for some reason. but him getting ugly is not the solution to my problems.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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A#$holes = guys who have sex with woman (ie get what they want) then put them on back burner (let's be friends) to manage down the girls expectations (set them on the back burner) creating enough insecurity in the girl so she is eager to prove her worth (ie have even better sex) when they need more sex.

You know the answer dear, he told you himself... he is an a#$hole.

 

omg.....this really describes it i think (except i didn't have sex with him again or try to prove myself - i was just too hurt- i thought it was nonnegotiable - i took 'friend' literally.) but this combined with what the other person said about FWB...wow... i never even thought this.... people really do this?!?!?! really??

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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omg.....this really describes it i think (except i didn't have sex with him again or try to prove myself - i was just too hurt- i thought it was nonnegotiable - i took 'friend' literally.) but this combined with what the other person said about FWB...wow... i never even thought this.... people really do this?!?!?! really??

 

If you took his offer of 'friend' literally, why did you play the game of not looking at him when you were at a mutual friend's house?

 

And what was the other stuff he did which was mean?

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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If you took his offer of 'friend' literally, why did you play the game of not looking at him when you were at a mutual friend's house?

 

And what was the other stuff he did which was mean?

 

The reason I wouldn't look at him was because i was so angry with him i couldn't stand to look at him (it was like a week after the rejection).

And when i say "literally" in the context of my last post, i meant, i was not thinking that HE meant FWB, I thought he meant, do you want to be "just friends" as in platonic friends. NOT sex friends. and if i said "took" - i didnt mean to imply i ACCEPTED his offer. I told him by then i didn't want to be friends with him. why do you take everything literally?

 

He has done other mean things I can't remember all of them now because as i said this was a while ago, but i just remember thinking he was not very nice to me.

 

if you want me to explain anything else to you please PM me.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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A#$holes = guys who have sex with woman (ie get what they want) then put them on back burner (let's be friends) to manage down the girls expectations (set them on the back burner) creating enough insecurity in the girl so she is eager to prove her worth (ie have even better sex) when they need more sex.

You know the answer dear, he told you himself... he is an a#$hole.

 

Tinkerbell, has this happened to you? so this is a deliberate manipulation tactic? i wish i knew this at the time- i wouldn't have felt like i was being bullied. I wouldn't have felt like such a loser. it would not have had such an effect on me to this day. the way you describe it sounds like it could have been the case.

 

you must think i am an idiot - but i just thought he thought it was such a horrible experience that he had to reject me immediately without delay, in the most abrupt, rude fashion possible. then all the other stuff threw me off, like "why is he now trying to be friends," made no sense to me. wow.... i feel like such an idiot. I do have some asperger's qualities. I also thought he was extremely embarrassed that we hookedup - that's another thing i felt that i forgot to mention. now who wants to feel that way.

Edited by HansonGirl
Robert Established Member

Robert

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Under review............. ~ V

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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