kittyxo Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 (edited) I met this guy a couple of weeks ago on a dating website. We really hit it off and we both were looking for the same things.. ex. not wasting each other's times, looking for a serious, meaningful relationship, no flings, respectful to each other.. We exchanged numbers and he called me every day for a week and we had really lengthy conversations. I didn't really overthink it when there were days that he didnt call me because I didnt want to come off as being needy, so I played it really cool. He then changed. When we would talk, he would just ask me all the time for nudes and always wanted to talk about sex. When he completely stopped intiating contact, I realized ok, he's definitely ghosting me. Again, I played it cool because I have been through this before with others. I had closed my previous account because I really liked him and I didn't want to talk to other guys especially cause he said that I was the only girl he was talking to as well. What a big fat lie. I recently joined the site again, and he msgd me right away saying that he knew it was me. I asked him what happened and he said "its me not you" and also added in that I made my decision in regards to our "relationship" because I wouldn't have sex with him right away, without being my boyfriend. He also then went on to say that he was talking to other girls at the same time and she had broken his heart so he couldn't be with me because he was heart broken??? Then he said "I hope you find someone that meets your standards, take care, bye" I felt so guilty last night.. like I had hurt him or done something... but I really didn't do anything!! What his problem??? He is definitely mind effing me Edited May 30, 2016 by kittyxo 1
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 He wants sex. That's it. He's not a nice guy & all that flowery stuff he said about wanting a relationship is a lie Now that you know that, why are you causing problems for yourself by continuing to engage with him. Just block him & move on. 6
Author kittyxo Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 He wants sex. That's it. He's not a nice guy & all that flowery stuff he said about wanting a relationship is a lie Now that you know that, why are you causing problems for yourself by continuing to engage with him. Just block him & move on. Hey thanks for the reply. Last night was the last conversation we had. I was just wonderig like wtf happened. It's really scary the lengths people will lie to get something.. 2
lilmissjava Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 By not giving him sex he sees you as a waste of time and guilt tripping you about it. Those mind games won't work because you're a smart girl and smart girls move on.
smackie9 Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Don't you dare think you did him wrong, not for a second. Remember actions speak louder than words. He gaslighted you, and anyone who does that is abusive/cheating/narcissist. You dodged a bullet indeed. 3
Author kittyxo Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 Don't you dare think you did him wrong, not for a second. Remember actions speak louder than words. He gaslighted you, and anyone who does that is abusive/cheating/narcissist. You dodged a bullet indeed. Thank you very much. I needed confirmation that it wasn't my fault. I wonder what could be his reasoning for lying.. Maybe he is a narcissist? 1
hippychick3 Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Thank you very much. I needed confirmation that it wasn't my fault. I wonder what could be his reasoning for lying.. Maybe he is a narcissist? It should not matter what he is. You've never met. You guys messaged each other for a short period of time, learned your relationships goals are different, and moved on. There will be plenty more guys who may tell you want you want to hear to get sex. They're a dime a dozen. Just don't put any stock into what any guy says until you've met in person and gone on several in person dates. This guy is just a stranger to you. 2
Gaeta Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 He then changed. When we would talk, he would just ask me all the time for nudes and always wanted to talk about sex. You should have dumped him right there. Nice guys don't ask for nude pictures or talk sex with a new prospect, they're much too afraid of offending you and lose you. Did you even meet face to face? Don't date as if you're looking for a price. Date as if YOU are the price to be won! Don't hesitate to dump a guy when he is not nice, talk sex, send or ask nude pictures. The world is full of men, you won't run out of men to date. 2
Author kittyxo Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 You should have dumped him right there. Nice guys don't ask for nude pictures or talk sex with a new prospect, they're much too afraid of offending you and lose you. Did you even meet face to face? Don't date as if you're looking for a price. Date as if YOU are the price to be won! Don't hesitate to dump a guy when he is not nice, talk sex, send or ask nude pictures. The world is full of men, you won't run out of men to date. We had never met. We actually were supposed to meet yesterday, but he didnt even bother to call me. His reasoning was that he was "very spontaneous". I didnt bother to wait around for him and went about my day and went out with myself.. 2
Gaeta Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 We had never met. We actually were supposed to meet yesterday, but he didnt even bother to call me. His reasoning was that he was "very spontaneous". I didnt bother to wait around for him and went about my day and went out with myself.. Now that you look back on it. Where do you think he showed his first red flag? When do you think you should have cut the cord with him? 1
HansonGirl Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Don't you dare think you did him wrong, not for a second. Remember actions speak louder than words. He gaslighted you, and anyone who does that is abusive/cheating/narcissist. You dodged a bullet indeed. What do you mean that he "gas lighted" her? 1
Author kittyxo Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 Now that you look back on it. Where do you think he showed his first red flag? When do you think you should have cut the cord with him? Well for starters, he sent me a screen shot of our conversation to show me that certian msgs didnt go through and I noticed that he didnt even have my number saved. When I asked him, he said he's good with numbers, but I remember before he mentioned that his memory was really bad. Also, whenever we talked over the phone, he never really asked me about myself or whenever It was my turn to talk, he would be distracted. I remember one night as we were talking on the phone it seemed as if he got a msg or a call from someone else, and immediately said "ok, time for me to go to sleep" and bid me a goodnite. I think all the signs were there, I just trusted him way too much because he convinced me that he was a great guy. He would always tell me that he never cheated on his gf, he would never talk to more than one girl. 2
Gaeta Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 I just trusted him way too much because he convinced me that he was a great guy. He would always tell me that he never cheated on his gf, he would never talk to more than one girl. And that is another red flag to add to the others. A nice genuine man, honest and faithful, never talks about how he's a good man. He's too busy showing you. When a man is trying to convince you he's a good man, that's cause he's hiding something. 3
Author kittyxo Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 And that is another red flag to add to the others. A nice genuine man, honest and faithful, never talks about how he's a good man. He's too busy showing you. When a man is trying to convince you he's a good man, that's cause he's hiding something. You're right, I didnt think of it like that... on to the next one! loll I still feel guilty though, He really did mind eff me good! 1
sagetalk Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 I felt so guilty last night.. like I had hurt him or done something... but I really didn't do anything!! What his problem??? He is definitely mind effing me He just wants to have sex with you and is willing to lie to get it. He is a dime a dozen, a dirt-bag, cheater. Don't waste another moment of your life thinking about him. You made a good decision by not sending him anything. Nice men want relationships with women. They also do not lie or pretend to be nice to get what they want. A nice guy will be 100% honest with you whether you want to hear it or not. A dirt-bag will tell you whatever you want to hear so he can jump in your pants as fast as possible. He is obviously skilled with women, so his problem is likely having too many options (many desirable women chasing him at once). The way you are obsessing over him, even though he treated you like a bag of dirt, speaks volumes of his skill level.
Buddhist Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 - There is no logic to anything people like this do. It's 100% ego. Therefore they do the most stupid things imaginable. - He doesn't have a REAL problem here apart from his own inability to relate to others in any kind of functional fashion. - Why are you feeling guilty over someone who clearly has mental health issues? I was chatting (non-romantically) to someone like this. They seemed just fine until out of nowhere there was all this projection happening. Things like replying to my totally innocuous email with.....Whoah! Calm down, why are you so defensive, attacking me etc. I realised at that point pot had clearly fried him and he was at this stage probably communicating with the aliens who implanted something in his brain. - Don't waste 2 mins of your life wondering why a mentally ill individual has stumbled into your life. It happens, quite regularly via the internet, because you can't see their nervous ticks and other tell tale signs that would make you steer clear of them IRL.
joseb Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 I met this guy a couple of weeks ago on a dating website. We really hit it off and we both were looking for the same things.. ex. not wasting each other's times, looking for a serious, meaningful relationship, no flings, respectful to each other.. You didn't meet anyone - you saw a profile and exchanged messages and calls. You really have no idea about him unless you have met him (and as it turns out, he was full of it - he might be a bored married guy for all you know, or a young guy just looking for some newd pics - or just a regular guy looking to get laid by saying the right things) Remember, nothing is real until you meet.
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 You didn't meet anyone - you saw a profile and exchanged messages and calls. You really have no idea about him unless you have met him (and as it turns out, he was full of it - he might be a bored married guy for all you know, or a young guy just looking for some newd pics - or just a regular guy looking to get laid by saying the right things) Remember, nothing is real until you meet. Yeah, you really cannot even label him as a player because you haven't met him yet. Could be just some married dude in sexless marriage looking for online fun.
JMazza1015 Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 He would have left after having sex with you. He lied about seeing other woman. you saying that you wanted to be exclusive with him should be a higher prize than you having sex with him.
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