JohnH Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 i think after so lomng he will realise he has made a mistake i really cant see it working out under the circumstances and as you say with their situation there will be strain i can see this ending in tears or maybe just ending who even knows if they love each other (i cant see it - although thats hypocritical of me as i fell in love with someone after a couple of weeks) thing is i dont think he would listen to you trying to knowck sense into him he is in la la land i guess he is just going to have to go through it and maybe he will realise its wrong and too late maybe he's going about it all totally wrong wanting to be married just for the sake of it and to anyone too ?
Author lovehurts05 Posted June 27, 2005 Author Posted June 27, 2005 Well I was beginning to think I made a mistake by not wanting to remain friends with him, but he made a mistake by losing a good person who was there for him ALL the time, and that was me! I guess to him, like he said "he was not in love with me, just loved me unconditionally"
JohnH Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 yes it is he who has made a mistake and is continuing to do so soon youl get over him but the thing is when he realises his mistakes will uyou be there for him he will most likely expect you to be and end up messing with your emotions puting you back to how you feel now i know its hard but i think NC is the way to go you will be happy again away from him he is very very silly
Author lovehurts05 Posted June 27, 2005 Author Posted June 27, 2005 Well, I don't wish him ill, or hate him. But hope what comes around, goes around!!
JohnH Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 thats because you are a decent person he wioll soon realise he is making a mistake and go through what you are going thru
Author lovehurts05 Posted June 27, 2005 Author Posted June 27, 2005 Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, what happened, and what did you do?
darhma Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 lovehurts05 My exboyfriend of 7 years. Proposed to a Ukrainian princess after 5 months of talking to her and about 2 weeks in Ukraine with her. He is getting married to her in the next few months. So I totally know how you feel. I like you decided not to be friends. When he has tried to communicate I have intentionally been somewhat confrontational or ignored him. It hurts way to much to ever be friends and I do not want him to think I am over here crying in my beer for him. You can not control other people you can only contol yourself. Is he making a mistake...sure he is. But it is his mistake and his life. There is nothing you can do to change the situation. The only thing you can do is take care of you. Have faith you will make it through this.
Author lovehurts05 Posted June 28, 2005 Author Posted June 28, 2005 You have a good point Darmha. I know it is time to start thinking about myself, and not him anymore, it will take some time to no think about him, but I know it is hard to just throw away 8 yrs of a relationship out the window so easily. I still take the time to grieve on this at times to let it out. I think each day I am beginning to realize what a jerk he is, and how selffish he can be. I guess in the long run I won't have to worry about that anymore!!!
Author lovehurts05 Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 I have tried to stick with NC with this guy, I have not seen him in 3 weeks (my choice) but HE is the one who has been calling me for petty stuff , like to pick up some items of his at my place that can be replaced very easily. Is this just an excuse for him to see me? I did avoid seeing him by the way. I have not talked to him in a week, that is because he has not called, don't think he will call again because he is getting married already this weekend, or will he???
darhma Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 I know it is hard but you need to do your darndest to try and not think about what he will do next. Who knows what he will do. It would not surprise me if he continued to contact you after he was married. This is after all all about him and his ego. He just likes to know that you still care. Do you want to continue to give him that satisfaction? He is a messed up person and he is just draging you down in his madness. You deserve so much more.
Lamar Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL... MY EX BROKE UP WITH ME AFTER 4 AND A HALF YEARS.. SHE KEPT SAYING THAT SHE IS STILL YOUNG AND WANT TO HAVE FUN. 1 MONTH LATER (AND IM NOT BS-ING) SHE GOT PREGNANT MY SOME GUYS THAT I THINK SHE MET BEFORE SHE BROKE UP WITH ME AND RIGHT AFTER THAT SHE WAS ENGAGED TO HIM. OH, BUT SHE SAID SHE STILL LOVES ME...YEAH RIGHT!!!!!
Author lovehurts05 Posted July 1, 2005 Author Posted July 1, 2005 Okay, here I am sticking with NC, and guess what? He calls me this morning (day he is to get married) calling me again on more petty stuff!(left me a message, I did not answer his call) Why does he keep calling me? Especially if he is getting married today! He also mentioned that he is being deployed next week, is he trying to make a point here? WHAT IS THE DEAL??!!!!
Author lovehurts05 Posted July 15, 2005 Author Posted July 15, 2005 Okay, what is the deal here? I have tried NC with him, but he still keeps calling ME. He got married already 2 weeks ago, and yet he is till calling me, he gets deployed this weekend (it keeps changing when he leaves) and he left me a message telling me a final goodbye although I told him MY final goodbye about a month ago. And when he called and left a message he said he was not going to call ANYMORE, well he called again yesterday, but left no message. I really wish he would stop calling me, I know he is leaving, but I already said what I had to say to him then, and feel there is nothing to talk about now. Can anyone tell me why he keeps calling?
westernxer Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 It's obvious why he's still calling... Can you tell us why it still concerns you?
inhighwater Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Names changed for privacy: I don't believe that my friend Jan's marriage will last when she gets married. She met a guy online. They met face to face and the next month he asked her to marry him. They are getting married later in this year. I agree with some of the other posters, that this relationship/marriage of your ex's has a 90 to 95% chance that it will not last. I also agree that there is no way a person can really get to know someone every well in that short period of time. If their relationship/marriage does last, I am sure they will have lots of hills and mountains of trouble. But don't hold onto him. Get on with your life! You deserve someone better!
phoenix333 Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 The sooner you stop talking to him, the sooner you can let go and heal. You cannot be friends with someone who you are in love with...you'll just drive yourself mad!
Author lovehurts05 Posted July 15, 2005 Author Posted July 15, 2005 You are right Phoenix333, and this is why I don't call him, he calls me!! and this is why I don't want to talk to him or see him because it will just make it harder for me to move on, and get over him!
Author lovehurts05 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Posted July 18, 2005 Okay, he sent me a text message this past weekend, all it said was "so long"! This was telling me that he was leaving for good. But I did not reply because I did not want to give HIM the satisfaction of me telling him goodbye. Did I do the right thing? And why would he even send me a text? Was he just wanting attention? Even though he is MARRIED already!
BLF04 Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 He has an ego. maybe he misses you. maybe he realizes what he did was a mistake and wants you to tell him. In any case he is deployed. It should make it even easier for you to get over him now. Easier said then done, i know.
Author lovehurts05 Posted July 21, 2005 Author Posted July 21, 2005 Yeah, I guess in a way it is good he is deployed because it should make it easier for me to get over him, I have moved on, but still have him in my thoughts too, it's hard not to think about him. He does have an ego, and also to much pride to even admit that he misses me, that's if he does. I don't think he realizes yet if he made a mistake by getting married, maybe he won't realize until he is overseas for a while. I know I made the right decision by sticking to no contact with him, I ignored his calls when he did call. Who knows if I will hear from him again while he is deployed.
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