SiaLv82 Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 I have been seeing this guy casually since January. We have been in this gray area "semi-casual" relationship since where he won't commit but he also won't leave me alone. I have meet his family. He has a small child and an ex that he wasn't exactly over when we first met (7 months ago). I met the kid once two weeks ago. I tried to end things twice with him. Both times I blocked him from social media and the moment he was unblocked, he started contacting me again. He has dated other girls, still on dating sites, just in general playinng the field. He told me this past weekend, that he is not having sex with anyone else and asked me if I was just with him. I spend the night, left at 7am, and the following day he goes MIA. I am bascially tired of his c***. I know he is either really not into me or not ready for a relationship which means there will be no relationship. I'm done with the what-could-bes and falling for a guy that hurts me rather than lifts me up.We have mutual friends. He is on my facebook again. I do care a lot for him. For anyone who has been strung along like this, how did you finally break things off. My issue is he always comes back. I don't want to block him outright on social media again because feelings are there, to leave the door open for down the road, and I feel like if/once I move on, feelings for him will go mute. But I don't know if that is even best for this situation. I'm thinking of having a talk publicly with him somewhere or just going completely silent. Its just hard because I really care about the guy. 1
Satu Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 It's a shame you care about him, because he doesn't care about you one bit. 2
Author SiaLv82 Posted May 29, 2016 Author Posted May 29, 2016 Oh I agree. He is completely stringing me along at this point for his own entertainment. I'm thinking of just not answering his texts and going silent as the best option. Any talk with him about relationships will just feed his ego, correct? Male perspective here? Then he can decide to take me off of social media if he chooses too. This is the first time I ever let a guy pull this on me so I have no clue how to handle unraveling this mess in the right way. I had a bad sort of tragic year and I think because of that allowed some toxic situations into my life that otherwise would have been cut short. The rebuilding process starts now, and everything negative is going to be kicked to the curb. 1
smackie9 Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 It's not him, it's YOU. You keep leaving a door open that should be closed for good. You are wasting your time hoping....you need to snuff out those feelings you have for him. Block/delete/ no contact. easy as pie. 3
Urban_decay Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 If it were me I would block him on every social media outlet I had contact with him on and block his number from calling. Is it hard? Yes but total NC is the only way to break things off. Unblocking him only leaves the door open for him to string you along not a relationship. This is what his actions are saying loud and clear. 1
BaileyB Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 It's really too bad that you've slept with him and met his kid because this is not a healthy, long term way to have a relationship. He is not a great partner, but neither are you in a good place if you don't recognize this and keep taking him back. Best of luck to you. 1
LostOnes05 Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 You wanted a male perspective...well, here's mine. Almost 5 months without any commitment/relationship? C'mon...you can take off the rose colored glasses, you're among friends. You sure he isn't married or something? Anyway, he isn't going to commit to you. Just by what you wrote it's obvious that he has a proverbial key to your life. About time you changed the locks, no?? Essentially he comes back...eats, sleeps, and makes himself at home until the fridge is empty again. Instead of helping you fill it, he runs off until he sees you've went shopping again...then he's back. When's dinner ready? I think the problem is that you are unsure of yourself. You say you're tired of his games, the what-could-bes and falling for guys that hurt you rather than lift you up...but in the next breath you want to leave the door open for him because there are feelings there, and you have mutual friends. If that's the case then you're not tired enough. Maybe it'll take a few more times for him to leave and come back or ruin potential relationships you could have had but turned down because he came back for dessert. Cut the emotional cord to him and put yourself first...then you'll see that he didn't really care about you. Best of luck and be strong!! 2
elaine567 Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 It's not him, it's YOU. You keep leaving a door open that should be closed for good. You are wasting your time hoping....you need to snuff out those feelings you have for him. Block/delete/ no contact. easy as pie. Exactly. He just doesn't want his sex on tap stream to dry up, so of course he is always looking for a way back in. As soon as you seem receptive, he contacts you again and good old SiaLv82 delivers the goods right on cue - because she cares... He is just using you and you are allowing him to use you too. I know you want love, but this ain't love, nothing like it. 2
Satu Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 You know that he doesn't want you, but you're hoping that if you go quiet, and leave the door open, he might do some 'deep thinking' and change his mind. That's not even a faint hope. He's already done his thinking, and he doesn't want you. The problem here isn't him, it's you. You put to low a value on yourself. That's the only problem here. Take care. 2
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