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Posted

Hello loveshack! I'm new here and I'm open to opinions and others' experiences dealing with partners and the "grass is greener syndrome".

 

I have been in a relationship with a guy for 6 years on and off. The relationship did have a lot of arguing involved. We broke up a total of 2 times. The first, him breaking it off because he couldn't deal with my attitude (something I'm working on). The second, most recently, he says he's in love with another woman. Over the past year our relationship has had a lot of issues (not communicating, arguing, misunderstanding each other, etc) and he admit that his "JUST a friend" became more. They eventually started having sex and then he developed strong feelings for her, WHILE we were together. I found out eventually, he told me he wasn't happy the past year with me, we broke up.

 

I stopped talking to him for about a month. He texts me "I just wanted to say hi and I hope everything is well." Breadcrumbs, whatever you want to call it. I keep it cordial. He starts contacting me more and after a while he took me out for dinner to get things off his chest. He apologizes and apologizes, admits his wrongs, tells me the truth about everything, wants to work it out, etc. It seemed genuine. We go out on a few dates and (sadly) ended up having sex. He changes his mind a week later. Soon after he's back and forth between me and her. I made the sad mistake of trying to convince him to just SEE where things would go with us. He agreed to at least try with me. This was for a week and today he texts me saying that he cannot deny his feelings for the other woman. He says he loves me, but he is in love with her and that he wants to make things work with this other woman. In that year, she did cheat on him with someone else (it's confusing). I cannot understand why he would leave someone completely loyal to him. Also, I am 22, he will be 23, we've been together since junior year of high school.

 

** QUESTIONS AT HAND.

1) Is he doing this because he thinks I'm a sure thing?

2) Did I take him back too soon and too easily?

3) When things go wrong with her do you think he will try and ease his way back?

4) GIGS or not?

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Posted

He is a jerk for yo yo ing you. This is why no contact is so important. Go No Contact and stick with it this time. He left, so he can stay left. Make him stick to his word.

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Posted

Sorry to be blunt, but as far as relationship material goes, this guy is worthless.

 

Why bother?

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  • Author
Posted
He is a jerk for yo yo ing you. This is why no contact is so important. Go No Contact and stick with it this time. He left, so he can stay left. Make him stick to his word.

 

I should've stuck with it the first time, I was actually moving on from him and now I'm back to square 1. It happens.

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Posted

This guy cheated on you then had the audacity to use you for sex afterward. He deserved to get cheated on. This guy is worthless.

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  • Author
Posted
Sorry to be blunt, but as far as relationship material goes, this guy is worthless.

 

Why bother?

 

Being blunt is good for us sometimes

  • Like 2
Posted

To answer your questions:

 

1) Is he doing this because he thinks I'm a sure thing?

 

It's likely. He sees how easy it is to tell you want to hear and you came running back to him, despite him cheating on you. The fact that you had sex with him after cheating on you tells him that it was okay for him to cheat on you because you'll still take him back.

 

2) Did I take him back too soon and too easily?

 

You shouldn't be taking him back at all. But yes, way too easily.

 

3) When things go wrong with her do you think he will try and ease his way back?

 

Likely. But at that point you need to have the self respect to say "no, I don't date cheaters." It's not a matter of "if" he will do it again, but "when".

 

4) GIGS or not?

 

It's quite possible, and he got burned in the end. He got what he deserved.

  • Like 1
Posted
Being blunt is good for us sometimes

 

You have to keep telling yourself that you deserve something/someone better.

Posted

Run. Run from him. Block him. Trust me, I've been there (just 4 months ago). Ask yourself, "Do I want to spend the rest of my life by the side of this boy?" If he did it once, he will do it again.

 

Take care, please.

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