Middle Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 I am a man in my 30s, and have been doing the online dating game for a few months now. One thing I am never quite sure about is how to respond to women who send lots of emojis... Example, someone I've met recently and became somewhat physically intimate with texts me quite often. She includes lots of smileys, and also some hearts and lots of kissy faces. I like her, I don't mind the amount of texting, and I don't want to discourage her. But I also think that sending the same emojis myself would be less than manly, so I don't do that (maybe a thumbs up or an occasionally tongue sticking out emoji if I'm teasing her, or similar) ... So I guess what I'm asking is how do women feel when they send a lot of affectionate texts and lots of emojis, but men don't respond in kind? 1
Popsicle Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 No, do it. It's not a big deal at all and it increases the effectiveness of your "non-in-person" communication. 3
Lois_Griffin Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Example, someone I've met recently and became somewhat physically intimate with texts me quite often. She includes lots of smileys, and also some hearts and lots of kissy faces. I like her, I don't mind the amount of texting, and I don't want to discourage her. I guess it all depends on what grade she's in. Women in their 30's actually do this nonsense? 8
Emilia Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Honestly I only see this from people (male/female) in their 20s. I am 43 and a younger friend of mine (25) would send emojis on facebook messaging app. Not romantic ones, just lots of smilies, thumbs up, etc and it took me a while to get used to them. I think it's a bit of give and take, you don't have to send them at all if it's not authentic to you and the other person might tone it down a bit if you don't reciprocate. I don't think anyone should do this over 30 though. Probably not over 25, it just looks infantile 3
Author Middle Posted May 28, 2016 Author Posted May 28, 2016 (edited) Honestly I only see this from people (male/female) in their 20s. I am 43 and a younger friend of mine (25) would send emojis on facebook messaging app. Not romantic ones, just lots of smilies, thumbs up, etc and it took me a while to get used to them. I think it's a bit of give and take, you don't have to send them at all if it's not authentic to you and the other person might tone it down a bit if you don't reciprocate. I don't think anyone should do this over 30 though. Probably not over 25, it just looks infantile Meh, to me it doesn't look so "infantile" coming from a woman. Sweet/flirty if anything... (and she doesn't send long strings of emojis. Just maybe a single kissy face or whatever at the end.. And not every single message.. I'm attracted to very sweet feminine ladies). Edited May 28, 2016 by Middle 3
katiegrl Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Meh, to me it doesn't look so "infantile" coming from a woman. Sweet/flirty if anything... (and she doesn't send long strings of emojis. Just maybe a single kissy face or whatever at the end.. And not every single message.. I'm attracted to very sweet feminine ladies). Yeah a single kissy face or wink is fine... I got the impression from reading the OP, it was this... ;) :love::bunny: Or the equivalent thereof.. with hearts and kissies. 2
preraph Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Yeah, Middle, I think you're totally right. Not only is it less than manly; it's just about the most juvenile thing imaginable to send a string of sophomoric imoges and honestly, anyone out of high school shouldn't be doing it unless they're talking to their children. I wouldn't send any imoges, but if you are comfortable with one, that's a little less childish than a string of them. I will say this, though, if you're feeling embarrassed about the string of imoges, then the person you're dating is probably too immature for you. 2
Cherryz Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 They are there to be use. haha But i think people dont worry much if women use alot of it. But dont aspect men to use alot like many of the same at once. Also if a adult use many it can be consider childish. But either-way you should use them. You have to use them because its text. So people can understand something else then what you mean if you dont add the type of emotion you got about it. Reading your post, i think you are doing it great. Do as you like. But with everything: to much is never good. lol Ps: if you dont want to use them you can also use words like : lol, funny, smh, lmao, oh oh, or type what you feel like: thats hurt, i feel sad, im mad, thats cool.haha. But using emotions is more fast. But its up to you. Its all just to have less misunderstanding. 1
Acerboy Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 I know a girl who gets in touch often to find out how I am doing. She is sweet and intelligent and in grad school. She does the emoji thing too. But not too much. I wasn't comfortable with it at first but I have grown to find it OK. I do send her some too. It's not a big deal unless the whole text is filled with them with no clear message. 2
Otter2569 Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Women in their 40's and 50's send them too. Like was said earlier, too much seems childish ad not enough seems insensitive. Emoji with caution my friend...but do send a few, especially if you find some fun ones! 6
iphone_user1 Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 I've never used them because I don't see the point, but I don't care if other people do, even if they are 40+ 1
todreaminblue Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 i often write...smilin...instead of putting a face in...normally its because i am smilin why i am writing.......some people find that ...creepy and weird i write smilin....stuff them...smilin....ill write what i want to write......i write what i feel..if i feel liek usign emoticons ill use them.....people who love me matter...heres a quote to go by Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.....Bernard Baruch write what you want to write what feels comfortable and true to you...in other words write what you feel......deb 2
Sabella Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 A lot can get lost in texting, like the emotion behind what you are saying. I think emojis are fine...and I'm well out of high school. Long strings of emojis are not what I'm referring to, that's like speaking gibberish. But the occasional kiss face or smiley after a joke or snarky comment, I think it's fine, no matter what age. But if you are not comfortable with them op, I doubt she expects it from you, so I wouldn't stress out about it. 4
Urban_decay Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 I'm in my early 40's and I rarely send an emoji except for a wink or smiley face and that is only occasionally. A guy I met at the gym a few weeks ago has been texting me and he always sends a ton of emoji's in his texts. He is a little older than I am and while I appreciate the texts the influx of emoji's are kind of a turn off. It's bugged me enough that I turned down a date when he asked me out a few days ago. 2
Satu Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 We can draw some comfort from knowing that texting can't get you pregnant 8
Acerboy Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 I'm in my early 40's and I rarely send an emoji except for a wink or smiley face and that is only occasionally. A guy I met at the gym a few weeks ago has been texting me and he always sends a ton of emoji's in his texts. He is a little older than I am and while I appreciate the texts the influx of emoji's are kind of a turn off. It's bugged me enough that I turned down a date when he asked me out a few days ago. you turned down a date because of emojis? Wow! 4
Imajerk17 Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 (edited) Two words: Gender Polarity. She is a woman you are a man. She is the one who shows receptivity by emoting, you show initiative by initiating communication and planning dates. An occassional smile or wink or thumbs up emoticon is fine, but the other emoticons (and "OMG" and the use of a lot of exclamation points, especially consecutively) should stay exclusively in her domain. Lest these rules sound silly, keep in mind that someone is reading your texts in your voice thinking this is how you talk. If you don't talk in a way that's unmasculine then why write that way? And spell out the word "you"! (instead of using "u") Edited May 28, 2016 by Imajerk17 3
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 (edited) Jesus. Even the use of emojis in texts is becoming a hotly debated topic of discussion / potential 'deal-breaker'. So glad I'm not single. Don't think it matters either way, OP. I send emojis to my SO right, left and centre - have done it since text 1; he probably sent 2 back to me. It didn't affect our relationship at all. Edited May 28, 2016 by PrettyEmily77 6
losangelena Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Jesus. Even the use of emojis in texts is becoming a hotly debated topic of discussion / potential 'deal-breaker'. So glad I'm not single. Don't think it matters either way, OP. I send emojis to my SO right, left and centre - have done it since text 1; he probably sent 2 back to me. It didn't affect our relationship at all. Thank you, yes. All this hullabaloo over some emojis. I'm 35 and have a masters degree and regularly deploy them, even with my 74 year old mother. Why all the judgement? They can actually be a very witty form of communication when deployed cleverly. I don't find it childish at all. 8
hippychick3 Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 I'm in my 40's and use emojis here and there. My very masculine, alpha type male bf in his 30's sends me kissy face ones all the time. I love them. A long string of them on a constant basis would be another story. But I don't form them childish at all. 2
fands Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 I would communicate solely in emoji if I could. It's like the universal language. Anything else is just so 2015. (I was going to say 2014, but that would have been overly dramatic.) 1
Taramere Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 They don't really bother me. If somebody uses emoticons to me I'll tend to use emoticons back. Same with kisses. Some friends end every text facebook messages etc with two or three kisses and I'll post the same back. With one friend, if we're having a private conversation with Facebook, she'll end every single message with xx. I try to do the same back, because not doing it back feels a bit cold (I know that's ridiculous) but I tend to forget when I'm in the conversational flow. I certainly have encountered plenty of people in their 40s and 50s (both male and female) who will tag an emoticon or kiss onto the end of their message. On the rare occasions I receive a facebook message from my older brother, there's usually an emoticon or kiss at the end of it - and he's not exactly a girly type. I see them as just a bit of harmless fluff really...marking a boundary between a serious, businesslike message and a playful or affectionate one. A lot of it is down to how you perceive the person's personality. I have a friend who, ever since I have known her, always draws smiley faces on the envelope of cards, at the end of messages etc. She was doing that before any of us were texting (she's an emoticon hipster!). That's totally her. She's an exuberant bringer of hugs, love and extremely noisy laughter. If she were quieter and more reserved friend, the smiley faces all over the place might seem a tad odd. 3
Jabron1 Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 I am a man in my 30s, and have been doing the online dating game for a few months now. One thing I am never quite sure about is how to respond to women who send lots of emojis... Example, someone I've met recently and became somewhat physically intimate with texts me quite often. She includes lots of smileys, and also some hearts and lots of kissy faces. I like her, I don't mind the amount of texting, and I don't want to discourage her. But I also think that sending the same emojis myself would be less than manly, so I don't do that (maybe a thumbs up or an occasionally tongue sticking out emoji if I'm teasing her, or similar) ... So I guess what I'm asking is how do women feel when they send a lot of affectionate texts and lots of emojis, but men don't respond in kind? I like when women use emojis, hearts, XXX's, and the like. I find it very cute and feminine. I use emojis as a laugh. I'll typically use stuff like: , etc Just keep it light, flirty and fun. 1
joseb Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 I don't mind using the occasional emoji, especially if I want to make sure she knows I'm kidding, tongue in cheek, etc. What I really don't like is these "stickers" that are part of most messaging apps now - i have a friend who sends them back and forth with the girl he is seeing - frankly it's embarrassing, she sends a stupid pic, he sends another one back - there is no exchange of anything meaningful, it's like they are not even able to have a real conversation but need the hit of a phone buzzing to say they have a new message constantly. 2
RedPurpleOrange Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 I like emojis too. A strategically placed comedy emoji can get you into the pants like nothing else, and can speak a sentence all on its own. Also, they can be a good benchmark to sense interest from the other person.
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