Author qq2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Author Posted May 28, 2016 I think he's just emotionally and socially awkward and people like that have a hard time expressing emotion, mostly because they are so inwardly focused that they fail to recognize what other people are needing and feeling. The good news is that he really does feel it and mean it. The bad news is that he will always be awkward and make you feel insecure. That struggle will be a constant in your life if you stay with him. He is probably socially awkward. Sometimes he looks shy and coy. Maybe you are the only person thinks that he does "feel it and mean ot". Most people would think that he just says that to get into my pants
elaine567 Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 He is probably socially awkward. Sometimes he looks shy and coy. Maybe you are the only person thinks that he does "feel it and mean ot". Most people would think that he just says that to get into my pants Being "shy and coy" is also an old player trick - the most important part of being a "player" is to hide it. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Sorry, but I don't think this all be explained by being "socially awkward." That would not explain why he can't operate his fingers well enough to send a text message, particularly if he a is younger guy and likely rather adept with technology and smartphones. Come on, now. Here is what I think the truth is: The roommate is his girlfriend. He keeps you hidden by not using his phone to communicate with you at all. Why? He's probably done this before and been caught. She checks his phone. So he uses email, probably from an account she doesn't know he has. He visits you at your house when she's working, away, and so on. He doesn't take you out because that's too risky. He might be seen with you. But he tells you he "loves" you so he can continue to have sex with you. So far, it's been working. So he keeps it up - he knows it gets him what he wants. Does he use his phone when he's in your presence? ie. can you hear notifications for incoming messages, phone calls, and the like? Do you know where abouts he lives, at the very least? What he does for work? How did you meet him? 4
joseb Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Yeah first I though he was just not looking for commitment. But the fact he never calls/texts and you have never been to his house is extremely suspicious. Personally I'd want to see his place, suggest it but not as you staying over, so he has no excuse. Do you have his phone number even? I'd love to see him busted if he has a wife/gf/finance... 1
miafarrow Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Look if you feel really bad about it... Do this for yourself. Next time if there is any. Don't have sex. Tell him that its over and move on or talk to him for yourself... Ask him what he wants and to cut the crape that he loves you... be direct. Personally I d get tired if I got attached and talk or just block him and move on....
Author qq2016 Posted May 29, 2016 Author Posted May 29, 2016 Yeah first I though he was just not looking for commitment. But the fact he never calls/texts and you have never been to his house is extremely suspicious. Personally I'd want to see his place, suggest it but not as you staying over, so he has no excuse. Do you have his phone number even? I'd love to see him busted if he has a wife/gf/finance... No I don't have his phone number. When he called me he just hid his number so I would receive calls with no number displayed Today he emailed me again but "his roommate"(it is definitely him) texted me saying that he wanted to see me, and I declined. "His roommate" then said his birthday is coming on next Monday. I remember that once he told me his birthday is in August. Now I can hardly believe anything he told me
Author qq2016 Posted May 29, 2016 Author Posted May 29, 2016 Sorry, but I don't think this all be explained by being "socially awkward." That would not explain why he can't operate his fingers well enough to send a text message, particularly if he a is younger guy and likely rather adept with technology and smartphones. Come on, now. Here is what I think the truth is: The roommate is his girlfriend. He keeps you hidden by not using his phone to communicate with you at all. Why? He's probably done this before and been caught. She checks his phone. So he uses email, probably from an account she doesn't know he has. He visits you at your house when she's working, away, and so on. He doesn't take you out because that's too risky. He might be seen with you. But he tells you he "loves" you so he can continue to have sex with you. So far, it's been working. So he keeps it up - he knows it gets him what he wants. Does he use his phone when he's in your presence? ie. can you hear notifications for incoming messages, phone calls, and the like? Do you know where abouts he lives, at the very least? What he does for work? How did you meet him? Yeah when I was with him I noticed that he had incoming texts And sometimes he couldn't wait to check these texts(I think he is worried about his girlfriend lol). He lives in another city that is about 40 minutes away by driving. We met online
ExpatInItaly Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 (edited) Yeah when I was with him I noticed that he had incoming texts And sometimes he couldn't wait to check these texts(I think he is worried about his girlfriend lol). He lives in another city that is about 40 minutes away by driving. We met online Okay, so you know that the theory about being averse to technology because he is socially awkward is a load of malarkey. Clearly he uses a phone for calls and texts. Just not with you. It's very obvious he has a girlfriend and you're his side-piece. Just forget about him. In the future, pay attention to the huge red flags. These ones were flapping pretty strongly. Edited May 29, 2016 by ExpatInItaly
tinkerbell16 Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 He has a girlfriend or wife... Bust his lying ass. If all women (and men) exposed cheaters for who they are there would be a lot less cheating happnin' 2
Scarlett.O'hara Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 What could be his definition of love? Like keep wanting to see me and have sex with me? To me if he did love me, he would have asked me out for a date, would want to see me more and spend more time with me. All he has done was just came to my place and left after sex. Thanks for your advice. I will be strong and won't see him again if he doesn't change. A superficial kind of love, where nothing is required of him and no questions are asked. After reading more about this situation it seems likely that he is involved with someone else officially. I know the idea of giving him up will be difficult without proof so I think it is time to do some digging and find out more about this guy. You would be amazed what you can find out online through social media, even the phone book can sometimes reveal if two people are living together. Regardless, I don't think it is fair for you to go on like this. You are giving too much of yourself and getting virtually nothing in return. You deserve better.
Survivor12 Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 This guy is a big liar. He is hiding lots of things He never showed me his place, saying that his roommate doesn't allow female visitors. I asked him many times if he has a girlfriend, but he all denied. He even said "I swear to god I don't have a girlfriend". So I believed him...Maybe he has a fiancée or some girl he is dating... Maybe he has a wife.
Author qq2016 Posted May 29, 2016 Author Posted May 29, 2016 Okay, so you know that the theory about being averse to technology because he is socially awkward is a load of malarkey. Clearly he uses a phone for calls and texts. Just not with you. It's very obvious he has a girlfriend and you're his side-piece. Just forget about him. In the future, pay attention to the huge red flags. These ones were flapping pretty strongly. Exactly. I mentioned the phone thing to him but he still didn't change. This jerk thinks I am stupid and played me so many times by his sweet talk. I'd blame on myself for being so stupid for such a long time. Once I told him that go sleep with the women you care to text but he just ignored and kept emailing me
stillafool Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 What could be his definition of love? Like keep wanting to see me and have sex with me? To me if he did love me, he would have asked me out for a date, would want to see me more and spend more time with me. All he has done was just came to my place and left after sex. Thanks for your advice. I will be strong and won't see him again if he doesn't change. You are absolutely right, if he really was in love with you. Some men know that women are needy to hear ILY so they say it for easy sex. You know this guy doesn't really love you but still you have sex with him. The question is why do you continue to have sex with a man who lies to you and just uses you for sex.
Author qq2016 Posted May 29, 2016 Author Posted May 29, 2016 A superficial kind of love, where nothing is required of him and no questions are asked. After reading more about this situation it seems likely that he is involved with someone else officially. I know the idea of giving him up will be difficult without proof so I think it is time to do some digging and find out more about this guy. You would be amazed what you can find out online through social media, even the phone book can sometimes reveal if two people are living together. Regardless, I don't think it is fair for you to go on like this. You are giving too much of yourself and getting virtually nothing in return. You deserve better. I told him many times to stop contacting but he still does. Today he emailed me again telling me he wants my baby (he is using another strategy to lure me to sleep with him again). All I need to do is just ignore him and I can get over him easily after seeing the truth and I am not as stupid as he thinks. I will just forget about him and date a guy who is looking for a relationship
frus69 Posted May 29, 2016 Posted May 29, 2016 I will just forget about him and date a guy who is looking for a relationship Well, I sure hope so
Author qq2016 Posted May 29, 2016 Author Posted May 29, 2016 Maybe he has a wife. I asked him if he had a wife, then he replied" where is my ring and the mark?" After all this, I think he might have a fiancée as he denied so many times that he has a gf. Once he got a text message he showed it to me, saying that it was a message from his best friends' friend(a girl), and the girl was going to get married the next Saturday. He said she lived in the same apartment building with him, and she asked him to cut a piece of tree and make it empty to put her wedding cakes in. And he showed me the cake's pic. I wasn't able to read his texts with her, but those were lots of messages. Maybe that "girl" was his fiancée lol
katiegrl Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 I told him many times to stop contacting but he still does. Today he emailed me again telling me he wants my baby (he is using another strategy to lure me to sleep with him again). All I need to do is just ignore him and I can get over him easily after seeing the truth and I am not as stupid as he thinks. I will just forget about him and date a guy who is looking for a relationship Okay fabulous, but why on earth haven't you blocked him? Sure he keeps emailing you and will continue to do so until YOU stop allowing it, by either not responding back or BLOCKING him. 1
Author qq2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 Okay fabulous, but why on earth haven't you blocked him? Sure he keeps emailing you and will continue to do so until YOU stop allowing it, by either not responding back or BLOCKING him. Because if I block him on email or phone, I will still go to "blocked emails" or "spam messages" to check when I am bored I have done it before.
katiegrl Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Because if I block him on email or phone, I will still go to "blocked emails" or "spam messages" to check when I am bored I have done it before. Are you sure you are actually blocking and not simply auto trashing? On my phone and most phones, when I block someone, their message is never delivered, I never receive it at all.... it gets lost somewhere in cyberspace. The person who sent the text never receives notification of that though, they just assume it *was* delivered. What kind of phone do you have? Never heard of what you described on any phone. That is setting it up so someone's texts get automatically sent to your trash. And you can see them in your trash if you check..... 1
frus69 Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Are you sure you are actually blocking and not simply auto trashing? On my phone and most phones, when I block someone, their message is never delivered, I never receive it at all.... it gets lost somewhere in cyberspace. The person who sent the text never receives notification of that though, they just assume it *was* delivered. What kind of phone do you have? Never heard of what you described on any phone. That is setting it up so someone's texts get automatically sent to your trash. And you can see them in your trash if you check..... I believe she's talking emails, not phone texts? Because he never texts her. Having said that, I never heard of anyone unable to block emails. Blocked emails don't show up in your spam folder. S 1
katiegrl Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 I believe she's talking emails, not phone texts? Because he never texts her. Having said that, I never heard of anyone unable to block emails. Blocked emails don't show up in your spam folder. S Agree, I can def block emails on my Gmail.... I never have though but have that feature. Not sure where they would go.....maybe to my trash don't know. OP guess you need more will power so you don't check..... In time you won give a crap anyway..... Hopefully . 1
trippi1432 Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Because if I block him on email or phone, I will still go to "blocked emails" or "spam messages" to check when I am bored I have done it before. But that is on you...if you keep holding the door open, you are allowing it. It no longer becomes something HE is doing, it becomes something YOU allow. Words are nothing without actions ...his only actions (words) are to get sex from you. You make it easy for him, so stop doing that. Stop being available and wasting your time and your life. Time is fleeting and every day, week, and year you waste on this man is a waste of time when someone who really could love and care about you walks away because you waste your time and youth on this guy. It appears that you are expending a lot more energy on trying to figure him out than he is on you. To what point?? Delete, block and be done so you can move on to something healthier. 1
Author qq2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 Are you sure you are actually blocking and not simply auto trashing? On my phone and most phones, when I block someone, their message is never delivered, I never receive it at all.... it gets lost somewhere in cyberspace. The person who sent the text never receives notification of that though, they just assume it *was* delivered. What kind of phone do you have? Never heard of what you described on any phone. That is setting it up so someone's texts get automatically sent to your trash. And you can see them in your trash if you check..... I am using a Samsung phone. I just go to "messages" and click "add to spam numbers". Maybe I should go to the contact list to block the number
frus69 Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 I am using a Samsung phone. I just go to "messages" and click "add to spam numbers". Maybe I should go to the contact list to block the number For some reason you sound reluctant to block him 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 For some reason you sound reluctant to block him I was about to say the same. What are you holding out for, OP? He's a total waste of your time.
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