Schmoozing tips?

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm going to more and more social events for work, where for example I'm chatting for hours on end with executives from the agencies who work for my company.

 

I'm an introvert recharged by quiet time with myself or close friends, and drained by small talk socializing with lots of different acquaintances. It can already be a bit draining sometimes to spend so much time talking with people at work all day. So to go from the office to a weekday night dinner with our reps can be pretty tiring. I do an OK job of being present and sociable, but it's also stressful and it always goes on for what feels like forever

 

Does anybody have any tips for making this more enjoyable? The better I do in my work, the more of these events I'm expected to participate in. Since it's becoming a more regular thing, I want to learn how to make the most of it.

[Mind-Chants]

Does anybody have any tips for making this more enjoyable? The better I do in my work, the more of these events I'm expected to participate in. Since it's becoming a more regular thing, I want to learn how to make the most of it.

 

I can so relate to your thread (I am an introvert too). I have similar problems but in different context. From my personal experience :

 

1. Talk about things that interests you. You will be surprised how easily the time moves when you are talking about things that grabs your thought process.

 

2. Learn to call it quits. From my experiences, on a post-work weekday dinner everybody wants to go home early but nobody is ready to "call it a day". And the whole dinner seems to stretch to infinity. When you are hosting, at least you could take the lead.

 

3. Try to enjoy the drink and food if nothing works.

[d0nnivain]

First learn to call it networking or personal marketing. Schmoozing makes you sound like a suck up.

 

 

There are tons of books on the subject. Read some.

 

 

Try your best to remember people's names. Always introduce yourself. Have a firm handshake. Make eye contact. If you are exchanging business cards, when the other person hands you theirs, take a moment to read it. Best tip I ever got, put your cards (the ones you will hand out) in your right pocket. Put the ones you receive in your left pocket. Ask a lot of Qs, especially ones like what is your biggest problem & what do you need to solve it? Be willing to refer others & connect people who can be helpful to each other. Position yourself as a resource. limit yourself to 1-2 drinks max & avoid eating messy foods.

[Tayla]

1: Listening is a skill to hone. Remain alert and ask open ended questions.

2: keep conversations brief yet informative. Usually 5 mins , then move along. Working the room in a figure 8 fashion, so that you can exit in a pleasant way.

3: Use manners to excuse or offer assistance .

4: Be fascinated and fascinating!

 

quality of time.

[TheFinalWord]

I'm going to more and more social events for work, where for example I'm chatting for hours on end with executives from the agencies who work for my company.

 

I'm an introvert recharged by quiet time with myself or close friends, and drained by small talk socializing with lots of different acquaintances. It can already be a bit draining sometimes to spend so much time talking with people at work all day. So to go from the office to a weekday night dinner with our reps can be pretty tiring. I do an OK job of being present and sociable, but it's also stressful and it always goes on for what feels like forever

 

Does anybody have any tips for making this more enjoyable? The better I do in my work, the more of these events I'm expected to participate in. Since it's becoming a more regular thing, I want to learn how to make the most of it.

 

Congratulations on your success!

 

Personally, I think just focus on listening is a major help. Most people like to talk about themselves, so just ask them questions about their interests (family, etc.)

 

I basically follow Hill's principles. Instead of worrying about small skills, I find focusing on the higher level qualities, tends to lead to the small things taking care of themselves:

 

[SolG]

I'm very much like you OP. I'm a classic introvert who has to attend many work functions.

 

My first strategy is know it's work. This is not social time with friends, it's absolutely an extension of the office, so have office face on. And know who's going to be there ahead of time and what your goals are for the evening. And don't drink.

 

For me, I set a time limit and goals. I'm going for two hours, no more. And in that two hours I will talk to that client about this, and introduce that client to such and such.

 

I don't do small talk. These people are also here for a purpose just like you are. They'll actually appreciate you for cutting to the chase as long as it's not too awkward. Like the others have said, listen. Not just to the client, but their partner/friends/associates. And it's actually really easy to be interested... because at this level most ppl are interesting! Have a bit of fun and file that info away. Clients love it when you are genuinely interested in their partners and families and lives. So... care. I surmise you're a caring person, so this shouldn't be difficult.

 

Go when you've done what you need to.

 

Hope this helps!

[todreaminblue]

hey ruby i am an introvert too...im not a business person...im a stay at home mum but i think i can help with some tips about working a room as an introvert....as an empath

 

like donnivain said dont think of it as schmoozing...its a negative connotation a negative word and puts you on the back foot before you even enter the room...give yourself some reflection time before you go ...your relaxation techniques etc...use them to prepare you and so you are calm and relaxed..have your goals or people you want to talk to in your mind....envision walking up to them...

 

be open and friendly....be honest.....show interest in them....iighten the mood or atmosphere... if you can with an anecdote or something funny you have heard or a quip....when a person smiles it relaxes them and makes them more open for discussion....

 

be engaging....smile...use eye contact to cement your interest in them

 

 

its going to drain you ...you know that...thats what alone time is for after...so try not to think about the drain before....you go in tired already...try to look at it as a good time....think of someone you know who is going to be there and use that person as your go to first...

 

if you feel uncomfortable in the room...look for someone you have a good connection with to boost your resolve and re energise you

 

everythin ends....even business meetings.....and you can recharge as long as you need when its over.......i hope it goes wonderfully for you...theres some really good tips in this thread and mine well..smilin...its more on a personal level i guess as an introvert.....

 

introverts have mad skills...one is the power of observation so use your skill of observation to see the people that you want to connect with...

 

the other is listening capacity really listen to the room...

 

be open be honest and use integrity....and shmoozing is not a word you need to have...people respect others with integrity...the good ones anyway..you dont need to be the life of the party....deb

[dichotomy]

Ask them about themselves - their interests, how they got into the business or their position. Continue to ask positive questions about them and their views. Ask them for advice on how you can do what they do - or achieve what they have achieved. Sound impressed or interested about what they say - like you are talking to a celebrity . Thank them for their insights and smile like they just handed you a 100 bucks - and move to the next person.

 

..... and you did not have to say much at all (except a few words of "that's interesting") - as they talked about themselves for 90% of the conversation.

 

I am exaggerating here - but if you do this with a light touch and with a smile - you will make a favorable impression.

[LivingWaterPlease]

The thing that's helped me more than anything is really caring about people, loving them.

 

When you care about people from the depths of your heart you want to know everything about them and just eat up anything they'll tell you about themselves. This helps me in business and everywhere I go. But, it also includes learning about people whom others may ignore, people who are poor, not well-connected, etc.

 

I was once approached at an event by a guy who looked like the janitor. He seemed to also have a speech impediment and was below average in appearance in every way, face, body, had lost his hair but was only around 40ish. I was surrounded by very wealthy impressive-looking people I needed to connect with but this man wanted to talk with me so we had a great conversation and I was glad to get to know him. Within the next few days I got a phone call from him requesting a further interview and that week he commissioned my services! I was honestly shocked! I had poured myself into getting to know him thinking he was a nobody at that event and he was exactly the type of person I needed to connect with that day.

 

Another time I attended an event in which a recent work of mine was made public. It was also a place I wanted to connect with people for future engagements. When I walked in the person in charge of the event grabbed my arm to introduce me to an A-list celebrity I didn't know was going to be there. I had no time to think of what to chat with her about. But, knowing that everybody there had to get to the event some way and that she had probably flown in I asked her about how her flight was. She had just experienced it and the weather was bad so she was glad to vent about it. It also established a commonality between us of talking about something personal and we were able to segue into a very personal conversation about her life. I learned things about her and her family I've never seen published anywhere.

 

You can always ask someone mundane details about how their day has been. If food is served you can comment on it and ask if the person you're talking with is hungry. They may say they've just been to dinner with family then you can segue into a conversation about their family.

 

If you talk with someone about things that have very recently happened to them that day chances are they are going to want to process that information.

 

For me, opening a conversation with a mundane question about the past few hours of a person's life has often ushered me right into their personal space because they have not yet had an opportunity to process those details with anyone else yet, even their SO. So, without them realizing it, I have become a confidante to them. From there it's a natural to move into a business conversation where they are interested in connecting as most people want to do business with those they feel a personal connection to. BUT, the point of becoming personal with them was not to get their business, it was because they are a person who is valuable whether or not they can be helpful to you. They are a person God has allowed me to meet and share a few moments with so they are someone I greatly respect and want to show courtesy and interest to with the idea in mind, "What does God have for me in meeting this person? How can I make his/her day better if he/she needs someone to listen to him/her? How can I show this person kindness and caring? What can I GIVE this person (not get from them)?" Almost everyone needs/wants a listening ear so you can always give that to almost anyone.

Edited May 30, 2016 by LivingWaterPlease