juniorrocha Posted May 27, 2016 Posted May 27, 2016 Some head ups: I broke up with my ex last week. We were together for almost 2 years. Our relationship was rocky overall, but I believe we were still in love. I've been lonely as f, I live far away from my family and closest friends, so she was everything to me. Anyway yesterday I met a new girl via a phone app. I was uncertain and scared but I needed to do this and see how it felt. Turns out the girl is amazing, she's hot (possibly hotter than my ex), we have a lot of common interests, I had a great time and had sex, although I was the entire thing comparing her with my ex (in my mind ofc). That girl been texting me today and I responded all of them, she wants to meet up again and I agreed. I'm worried I may be using her as rebound tho, I absolutely do not want to get involved atm. So should I tell her about my recent break up? Or just keep going... it feels so weird to be with someone else. Even with all the qualities that she showed me yesterday, I still keep thinking of my ex as someone better. 1
alphamale Posted May 27, 2016 Posted May 27, 2016 I think you should spend time by yourself for six to twelve months. 2
Satu Posted May 27, 2016 Posted May 27, 2016 Some head ups: I broke up with my ex last week. We were together for almost 2 years. Our relationship was rocky overall, but I believe we were still in love. I've been lonely as f, I live far away from my family and closest friends, so she was everything to me. Anyway yesterday I met a new girl via a phone app. I was uncertain and scared but I needed to do this and see how it felt. Turns out the girl is amazing, she's hot (possibly hotter than my ex), we have a lot of common interests, I had a great time and had sex, although I was the entire thing comparing her with my ex (in my mind ofc). That girl been texting me today and I responded all of them, she wants to meet up again and I agreed. *I'm worried I may be using her as rebound tho, I absolutely do not want to get involved atm. **So should I tell her about my recent break up? Or just keep going... it feels so weird to be with someone else. Even with all the qualities that she showed me yesterday, I still keep thinking of my ex as someone better. *Thats exactly what you're doing. (And its not fair to do that to someone.) **Its too soon for you to get involved with someone, and you know that. (Don't hurt her. She doesn't deserve it.) Nobody wants to be second best. Find other ways of dealing with your pain. Take care. 3
Author juniorrocha Posted May 27, 2016 Author Posted May 27, 2016 What if she doesn't want to have anything serious with me? I wanted to talk about that but it feels so recent 1
Satu Posted May 27, 2016 Posted May 27, 2016 What if she doesn't want to have anything serious with me? I wanted to talk about that but it feels so recent Refer to my previous. 1
Author juniorrocha Posted May 27, 2016 Author Posted May 27, 2016 Meh I was thinking maybe things would be easier if I had someone even if it's just for casual sex, but I'm afraid it will only hurt more 1
Satu Posted May 27, 2016 Posted May 27, 2016 Meh I was thinking maybe things would be easier if I had someone even if it's just for casual sex, but I'm afraid it will only hurt more You're right that, but you'll be OK.
coolheadal Posted May 27, 2016 Posted May 27, 2016 There is a 50/50 chance it might work in your favor. Then it might not. We all take risk and to see the final outcome. Depends how this girl is she really into you or what? If you really into her and she's the same go for it. If your not and have doubts or strong feelings of your prior then take a back seat and wait it out. I've tried all of this and I still never know what's going to happen. No one wants to be on their own or be without someone to share their day with. Some of us can cope some of us can't cope.
deadparrot Posted May 27, 2016 Posted May 27, 2016 You need to talk with her and clarify with what she wants out of this relationship. If she's okay with a casual FWB situation, then go for it. You're both consenting adults. If she's looking for something more serious, then you need to come clean and likely end your association so she doesn't get hurt (and so you can heal).
ForeverAlone2016 Posted May 27, 2016 Posted May 27, 2016 It seems that you are trying to forget your ex by meeting new women. You have to realise that you were in a long term relationship and have only been single for one week. You said yourself, that you are still 'in love' with your ex. Is it really fair on the new girl in your life that you are seeing her, yet loving another? Casual sex can sometimes lead to unexpected emotions. If you do start getting feelings for two women and it doesn't work, then you will be left with deeper wounds to heal. Enjoy single life for a while. It will be worth it. As for the loneliness aspect. I can completely understand where you are coming from. I am in exactly the same position, however try doing things for yourself instead. Don't make your happiness dependent on others. Find it within yourself.
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