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I'm meeting up with my ex, but she's talking to another guy

Eddie Gonzales

By Eddie Gonzales
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Eddie Gonzales Member

Eddie Gonzales

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I initiated the break up and we broke up five months ago. We haven't talked since then, no contact whatsoever. She went on to delete a pic of us on Facebook. I still have feelings for her and want her back. Recently, through our mutual friend (a girl), I found out she's been talking to this guy. They were suppose to meet a couple of times, but he always either cancelled or never showed up. She's still talking to him as far as I know.

 

A couple of days ago, I reached out to her with a simple text asking if she wanted to meet because I have something important to tell her. She replied with "I have time at the end of the week, so if you'd like we could see each other then."

 

Bonus info: Our mutual friend called me and told me my ex immediately called her after she saw the text and wanted advice on how to reply. Both me and our mutual friend saw this as a sign that she's not over me.

 

So now what do I do? Should I act cool when we meet, tell her I still have feelings for her or just talk and have a fun time? And should I ignore the other guy since they haven't even met yet or should I just cancel the date?

 

HELP !!!!!!! :(

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PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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Personally I would have let her know what the meeting is about. If she's not interested, the meeting will be a waste of both your time. If she is interested, she will likely need time to think it over... the rest of the meeting will be pretty awkward.

 

So yeah, I don't think springing this on someone is a good idea. Tell her, and if she is interested, then meet to discuss the details. If not, move on.

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Eddie Gonzales Member

Eddie Gonzales

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Personally I would have let her know what the meeting is about. If she's not interested, the meeting will be a waste of both your time. If she is interested, she will likely need time to think it over... the rest of the meeting will be pretty awkward.

 

So yeah, I don't think springing this on someone is a good idea. Tell her, and if she is interested, then meet to discuss the details. If not, move on.

Yeah, but isn't it a bit weird to tell her how I feel through a text or phone call? It doesn't seem right to not tell her face to face.

 

Also, I don't think she'd want to meet me if she wasn't interested. There would be no point.

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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Also, I don't think she'd want to meet me if she wasn't interested. There would be no point.

Plenty of people (especially women I've noticed on these forums) like to meet up with their ex just to chill and relax. Of course the underlying reasons is to make sure they are not hated or having evil hexes put on them, to assuage their guilty conscience, etc. But the net result is the same: plenty of exes want to meet up with absolutely no interest in a reconciliation.

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kztar Established Member

kztar

Posted
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Plenty of people (especially women I've noticed on these forums) like to meet up with their ex just to chill and relax. Of course the underlying reasons is to make sure they are not hated or having evil hexes put on them, to assuage their guilty conscience, etc. But the net result is the same: plenty of exes want to meet up with absolutely no interest in a reconciliation.

 

DON'T do this for your OWN good. Believe me. I did this in attempt to reconcile with my ex. I told him my intentions, I told him to reconsider and we set up a date at this nice fancy restaurant. Three days before the "date" he even texted me to tell me he was EXCITED about seeing me. My heart was so happy, I thought we still had a chance. When we actually met up, he told me he only met up with me to give me closure, that all his friends told him how bad of an idea it was for him to come meet me, that he rather be at the gym than with me, ALL these HURTFUL things. I ended up pleading and begging him to reconsider which was a terrible idea. We had brunch and it was possibly one of the WORST days of my life.

 

This was 4 months ago and until this day I remember like it was YESTERDAY. First and last time I humiliate myself doing such thing. Until this day, I regret it, I will never do it again. Someone leaves, let the door be wide open and make sure you close that door on the way out. Leave this ALONE, it may bring more bad than good.

 

Good Luck OP. I feel for you.

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Eddie Gonzales Member

Eddie Gonzales

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DON'T do this for your OWN good. Believe me. I did this in attempt to reconcile with my ex. I told him my intentions, I told him to reconsider and we set up a date at this nice fancy restaurant. Three days before the "date" he even texted me to tell me he was EXCITED about seeing me. My heart was so happy, I thought we still had a chance. When we actually met up, he told me he only met up with me to give me closure, that all his friends told him how bad of an idea it was for him to come meet me, that he rather be at the gym than with me, ALL these HURTFUL things. I ended up pleading and begging him to reconsider which was a terrible idea. We had brunch and it was possibly one of the WORST days of my life.

 

This was 4 months ago and until this day I remember like it was YESTERDAY. First and last time I humiliate myself doing such thing. Until this day, I regret it, I will never do it again. Someone leaves, let the door be wide open and make sure you close that door on the way out. Leave this ALONE, it may bring more bad than good.

 

Good Luck OP. I feel for you.

Then how do people reconcile then? If it's not through a meeting? I was the one who dumped her btw.

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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Then how do people reconcile then? If it's not through a meeting?

You express your intent through a message or phone call then if you're both interested, you meet up in RL to iron out the details.

kztar Established Member

kztar

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Posted
Then how do people reconcile then? If it's not through a meeting? I was the one who dumped her btw.

 

I would move on PERIOD. Regardless of who dumps who, breakups happen for a reason. I read that you dumped her, which makes the situation worse. I wouldn't consider it at all if I was her. But everyone is different. Good Luck.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Because you broke up, if you want to now reconcile I think meeting in person is the best way to go.

 

More important Q though: why did you break up? Unless whatever caused you to dump her has been fixed, why on earth would you want to back to a situation that previously wasn't working for you? that makes no sense. If you dumped her because you wanted to see what else was out there, no offense, but she's a fool to take you back after you threw her away once.

 

If you are going to attempt this do 5-10 minutes of small talk / what's new then launch into her feelings on getting back together. If she's not into it, why waste time. If she says no, just leave her be.

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