so guys... what are your biggest insecurities?

[tinkerbell16]

Just curious to hear from guys... what are some of your insecurities that you have recognized experiencing in your past and or current relationships and where do you think they come from?

[TaraMaiden2]

I don't have any. And to be honest, really, if you know you have insecurities, what do you think you'd like to do about them?

As well as airing them, that is?

[Audacious]

not a good question :

but as a guy , I can tell you that

 

1- Guys will never EVER admit their insecurities even with anonymity of the internet .

2- I have never met a guy who did not claim that he is well- hung

3- I have rarely met a guy who admits to have problems getting girls , ( all of us do , some get demoralized by it but some just keep on approaching )

4- ALL guys claim that they made their women cum ... that claim is usually exaggerated and usually they add a 100 on 10 ( he made her come once and then claims that it happened 30 times )

5- guys usually try to appear well-off more than they actually are .

6- guys cry over women , they weep .... but guess what ... no one admits that.

 

Again , these are a few things based on guys that I've known/interacted with .

[Larryville]

sexual endurance – compared to other dudes, why men cheat, think they need practice

 

body image – ask themselves is the low testosterone belly a turnoff

 

limited sexual experience – compared to other dudes (why men cheat so much)

 

financial prowess – compared to other dudes – more and more uneducated

broke dudes out there than ever before, lots more financially successful women out there.

 

junk size – compared to other dudes

[Michelle ma Belle]

(settling in with a big bowl of popcorn...this should be interesting!)

[MrMeh]

I guess I have never really felt attractive overall. This ranges from feeling down about my appearance or feeling dissatisfied with my intelligence.

 

If I am ever talking to a girl and she compliments me, I have to tell myself that she could actually see me as that way and that I shouldn't let my negative self-image take away anything from her comment.

[carhill]

In my demographic there's only been one really, and that's purely on me since I get nothing but love and support from my friends -

 

Lack of demonstrable wealth

 

It's less of an issue now than when I was competing for a mate during my reproductive years but hanging out with folks who've 'made it' can be a bit intimidating at times. As one friend put it, though, I thought quite candidly - 'it's all the same, just with different numbers'. Indeed, regardless of numbers, him dealing with his own health problems and caring for his wife who has cancer put the money stuff into perspective. I might be relatively poor but I have enjoyed excellent health all my life so there's that.

 

Where I'm moving to is a better match demographically and I already feel right at home there and the people don't hold the California plates on my old truck against me.

 

Relevant to relationships, one thing my best friend tried to, unsuccessfully, get across to my now exW who thought she deserved a certain lifestyle was that such a lifestyle comes at a price, since nothing is free in life, and it was a price I wasn't willing to pay so she better get used to it if wanting to be married to me. She didn't so did pretty well for herself in the divorce and moved on. With that milieu ended any other insecurities I might have had about relationships since I decided I was done with them. Big time and emotional suck and glad I got out of the period with my health.

[smackie9]

Insecurity? Not being able to get it up......

[TaraMaiden2]

Insecurity? Not being able to get it up......

 

Or in.

 

Even.

[ltjg45]

I have no issue admitting my insecurities if anyone asked. What bothers me is the backlash from doing so.

 

Because I am going through that right now at work. I mentioned to my co-workers not long after I started working there that I have never been in a relationship or even a date in my entire life. Needless to say, they have been on me about that ever since (for at least 2 years now). I doubt they ever will give it up unless I do start dating a woman and I don't even want to know what would happen if that ever happens.

[mikeylo]

I don't have any. And to be honest, really, if you know you have insecurities, what do you think you'd like to do about them?

As well as airing them, that is?

 

I always thought you were a woman

[TaraMaiden2]

I AM a woman.

 

what does that have to do with anything....?

[mikeylo]

Without off tracking the thread, the OP is aimed at replies from men and your first sentence says " I don't have any " , so I thought you are a man, lmao

[TaraMaiden2]

Oh.

I thought she meant..."Hey guys!" like, ya know.... the collective term for a bunch of people we feel equal to and get on with.

 

If it was 'guys' as in 'Gentlemenfolk' then well, I answered already and can't really go back on it, can I....?

[NTV]

not a good question :

but as a guy , I can tell you that

 

1- Guys will never EVER admit their insecurities even with anonymity of the internet .

2- I have never met a guy who did not claim that he is well- hung

3- I have rarely met a guy who admits to have problems getting girls , ( all of us do , some get demoralized by it but some just keep on approaching )

4- ALL guys claim that they made their women cum ... that claim is usually exaggerated and usually they add a 100 on 10 ( he made her come once and then claims that it happened 30 times )

5- guys usually try to appear well-off more than they actually are .

6- guys cry over women , they weep .... but guess what ... no one admits that.

 

Again , these are a few things based on guys that I've known/interacted with .

 

Another dude's review of your comprehensive list:

 

 

1. confirmed

2. I confirm that I am not well hung. I am extremely well hung. But even if I'm not, it's so beautifully perfectly shaped that it's been known to make people cry.

3. Eh, the guys don't talk about it because it sounds whiny.

4. my last achievement was 11. In your math terms that should be 114.5, but we can split the difference and call it too many times to be fair to me. luckily though I made up for it later by getting mine and leaving her high and dry a couple times. it evens out.

5. confirmed, unless going to a place where people want you to spend money or physical activity is involved

6. I admit to crying like a baby when I found out my wife cheated. Probably cried more over that than everything else in my adult life combined. This is true 95% of the time, but in cases of grief and loss, there are no rules.

 

 

 

 

My personal insecurities:

 

 

1. Insecure about my looks. I know I'm good looking. It's believing it that's the problem.

 

 

2. physical fitness. Need to be more fit.

 

 

3. fear that if I'm single again that I'll either one, go off the deep end and make my bedroom door revolving until I catch something or two, fall for the same type of woman as my ww.

[Emilia]

sexual endurance – compared to other dudes, why men cheat, think they need practice

 

body image – ask themselves is the low testosterone belly a turnoff

 

limited sexual experience – compared to other dudes (why men cheat so much)

 

financial prowess – compared to other dudes – more and more uneducated

broke dudes out there than ever before, lots more financially successful women out there.

 

junk size – compared to other dudes

My theory has been for quite a while that men compete with each other based on success with women and finances. This is how they structure their hierarchy.

 

Would that be the basis of your post?

[Larryville]

My theory has been for quite a while that men compete with each other based on success with women and finances. This is how they structure their hierarchy.

Would that be the basis of your post?

 

Good question, not necessarily the basis of my post.

 

As far as I am concerned I’ve never "competed" with other men, particularly as I became an adult. What would be the point?

 

I grew up in a solid family environment, my family was successful, not “wealthy” but educated, successful in careers, financially stable.

 

I have always had good job, yes people might make more but my job satisfaction my entire adult life has been great.

 

I married two attractive and successful women and while things did not work out long term, no regrets.

 

I just completed a long trip where I saw good old friends, some still married long term marriages, kids are doing well, they have lots of cool stuff but I’m happy and proud of their accomplishments, they are my friends and more like family than simply friends.

 

I live in a modest apartment, save my money have NO debt. Dudes are driving around in fancy cars, lots of stuff... women and are mired in debt, they want the superficial to be front and center instead of highlighting on the things in life that really matter.

 

“Competing” for women is seriously stupid and judging your life based on your sexual experiences is stupid and narcissistic it is about the quality of life's relationships.

 

When you don’t like what you see in the mirror…

 

When you lack quality family and friendships…

 

When you lack education…

 

If you grew up in an environment that put "stuff" over relationships....

 

Then you focus greatly on these meaningless insecurities.

[Dork Vader]

This is really dependent on the person I am dating. How they respond to situations and things can mean the world of difference when it comes to insecurities.

 

I am HSV-2 Positive (herpes), when I was single it was a huge insecurity. Many dates dumped me because of it.

 

I am OCD, while I do take medications for it. It can rear its head up from time to time. I'm not talking about Clean freak OCD. I'm the type in which something will give me anxiety and then I will obsess on it and the anxiety will spiral out of control. It can be a lot to deal with when it happens.

 

I have one other, but I've found a way to deal with it. So it's really a non-issue now.

[tinkerbell16]

My theory has been for quite a while that men compete with each other based on success with women and finances. This is how they structure their hierarchy.

 

Would that be the basis of your post?

 

I posed the question to guys (literally... as in males). I am interested in the responses from the male perspective because I am curious how men think in terms of self awareness and I am also interested in what areas may come up as common insecurities. A curiosity of how the other half "tick" if you will.

 

I think it is a great question because it may actually help in understanding how the male and female minds work differently, or it may show we aren't actually that different at all. In either case it was just a curiosity...

And yes, I am aware what happened to the cat

[tinkerbell16]

not a good question :

but as a guy , I can tell you that

 

1- Guys will never EVER admit their insecurities even with anonymity of the internet .

2- I have never met a guy who did not claim that he is well- hung

3- I have rarely met a guy who admits to have problems getting girls , ( all of us do , some get demoralized by it but some just keep on approaching )

4- ALL guys claim that they made their women cum ... that claim is usually exaggerated and usually they add a 100 on 10 ( he made her come once and then claims that it happened 30 times )

5- guys usually try to appear well-off more than they actually are .

6- guys cry over women , they weep .... but guess what ... no one admits that.

 

Again , these are a few things based on guys that I've known/interacted with .

 

With all due respect.. I think it was an excellent question and your response was an excellent response! I always wondered about the crying thing. I feel a little like I stole something from the man vault But it was a gift... from you... thanks!

[Emilia]

Good question, not necessarily the basis of my post.

 

As far as I am concerned I’ve never "competed" with other men, particularly as I became an adult. What would be the point?

 

I grew up in a solid family environment, my family was successful, not “wealthy” but educated, successful in careers, financially stable.

 

I have always had good job, yes people might make more but my job satisfaction my entire adult life has been great.

 

I married two attractive and successful women and while things did not work out long term, no regrets.

 

I just completed a long trip where I saw good old friends, some still married long term marriages, kids are doing well, they have lots of cool stuff but I’m happy and proud of their accomplishments, they are my friends and more like family than simply friends.

 

I live in a modest apartment, save my money have NO debt. Dudes are driving around in fancy cars, lots of stuff... women and are mired in debt, they want the superficial to be front and center instead of highlighting on the things in life that really matter.

 

“Competing” for women is seriously stupid and judging your life based on your sexual experiences is stupid and narcissistic it is about the quality of life's relationships.

 

When you don’t like what you see in the mirror…

 

When you lack quality family and friendships…

 

When you lack education…

 

If you grew up in an environment that put "stuff" over relationships....

 

Then you focus greatly on these meaningless insecurities.

From what I've seen it's hugely down to your personality and the environment you work in.

 

I worked with sales guys for about 6 years (I'm not in sales myself) and the bolded appeared to have applied to many, the competition was very apparent in the pub on Fridays after work.

 

But then they often come from the lower socio economic classes and they have only money to use as measurement of success, not education or 'old money' or higher socio economic class or any form of sophistication.

 

Then there are the women. When you are out a lot and spend money, women will follow, I think it's almost inevitable.

[Vado]

Not knowing what a girl means when she says something and he has to guess, because asking would be awkard.

[Emilia]

From what I've seen it's hugely down to your personality and the environment you work in.

 

I worked with sales guys for about 6 years (I'm not in sales myself) and the bolded appeared to have applied to many, the competition was very apparent in the pub on Fridays after work.

 

But then they often come from the lower socio economic classes and they have only money to use as measurement of success, not education or 'old money' or higher socio economic class or any form of sophistication.

 

Then there are the women. When you are out a lot and spend money, women will follow, I think it's almost inevitable.

Also, forgot to say: I didn't mean competing for women, more the idea of using success with women as defining your spot in male hierarchy.

[tinkerbell16]

Not knowing what a girl means when she says something and he has to guess, because asking would be awkard.

 

Ask! Girls (this girl at least) LOVES communication. Let me re-phrase... Gawwwsh communication is such a turn on!

[Emilia]

I think it is a great question because it may actually help in understanding how the male and female minds work differently, or it may show we aren't actually that different at all. In either case it was just a curiosity...

And yes, I am aware what happened to the cat

Know thy enemy

 

Seriously though, being able to relate to the opposite sex is very important. The more I read about people's experiences with OLD, the more I think the reason why that can be so difficult is that it doesn't help relating to the other sex as people.