tyler78jones Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 I've been on a few dates with this one girl. Unfortunately there's some distance between us Sh has told me she likes me multiple times The other day i texted her and told her i needed to tell her something i said "i like you. im interested in getting to know you more. the distance sucks but i do like you. im not syaing i want a relationship right now but i gotta see you more. i think we would be great together if we got to that point." she said "i feel the same. the distance sucks and im sorry my sister ruined last weekend with her problems" then i said "im always willing to come drive to you, you know that" she sai d"i know honey. i know you would, im just not reayd for that" then i said "ok enough of the mushy stuff " then she said "you are seriusly adorable" do you think it was dumb of me to go a little mushy on her and tel her how i felt?
Buddhist Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 No. I think you did fine. The only problem is her response "I'm not ready'. Sorry but everyone is ready for the right person. This is BS talk for....I'm not that into you. 3
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 ...and in that light, "you're seriously adorable" means you'd make a woman very happy. I'm just not that woman right now, and most likely never will be." 1
Audacious Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 your first message was mighty clear I agree with what Buddhist said she sai d"i know honey. i know you would, im just not reayd for that" this is the most ubiquitous BS line women use when they're not into you , beware of that "cute" discrimination and remember , that adjective is used for kids , cats and dogs
Gaeta Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 You did right. You were clear about your intention, I wish men/women would be as clear as that when they meet. And because you were clear about where you're standing you were able to identified pretty early that she is not interested as the same level as you. If I were you I'd tell her thank you for your honesty, I am looking for someone who know what she wants and is ready to invest some time into getting to know me. Good luck.
Author tyler78jones Posted May 26, 2016 Author Posted May 26, 2016 what the hell SHE HAS TOLD ME MULTIPLE TIMES SHE LIKES ME MULTIPLE SHE EVEN SAID IT AFTER I TOLD HER I LIKED IT yet somehow you guys interpret that she doesnt? wtf
Gaeta Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 what the hell SHE HAS TOLD ME MULTIPLE TIMES SHE LIKES ME MULTIPLE SHE EVEN SAID IT AFTER I TOLD HER I LIKED IT yet somehow you guys interpret that she doesnt? wtf So she likes you BUT she is not ready for you to drive over there and have dates with her. Explain to me how you justify this? As a woman I am telling you she likes you alright, she likes the attention, she is flattered but nothing more. She is keeping the door open for someone 'better' to come along. Words are cheap, look at her actions. What happened that her sister ruined the weekend?
Author tyler78jones Posted May 26, 2016 Author Posted May 26, 2016 her exact workds were. i fel the same. distance sucks. my sister ruined ast weekend and i fel bad, but i do like you
Author tyler78jones Posted May 26, 2016 Author Posted May 26, 2016 So she likes you BUT she is not ready for you to drive over there and have dates with her. Explain to me how you justify this? As a woman I am telling you she likes you alright, she likes the attention, she is flattered but nothing more. She is keeping the door open for someone 'better' to come along. Words are cheap, look at her actions. What happened that her sister ruined the weekend? weve been on dates! she is leary of inviting people over she doesnt really know her sister and husband got into a huge fight and she had to wtahc the kids
Gaeta Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 Tyler: When a woman likes a man she wants to see him ALL THE TIME. She can't wait to hear from him and she waits in anticipation when she'll see him again. She'll also make herself free and available to see him. There is no 'I am not ready for that' that is a code for 'you're not the one for me' - 'I am not into you' - 'I am keeping my options open' - 'I got another dude I am working on'.
Gaeta Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 weve been on dates! she is leary of inviting people over she doesnt really know her sister and husband got into a huge fight and she had to wtahc the kids Ok lets start over. Your first post is confusing. How many dates you had? Are you long distance? What did you mean by you are willing to drive over there? Did you invite yourself over to her place? I thought you meant driving to her area for a date.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 what the hell SHE HAS TOLD ME MULTIPLE TIMES SHE LIKES ME MULTIPLE SHE EVEN SAID IT AFTER I TOLD HER I LIKED IT yet somehow you guys interpret that she doesnt? wtf I think there's an element of you hearing what you want to hear. She's trying to let you down gently. Let's read the messages again: You said: ..... "im always willing to come drive to you, you know that" Her response: "i know honey. i know you would, im just not ready for that" (in other words, this is a no-go. Probably because of the distance, but this, to her mind, is a NON-STARTER. You made further comment, and she replied with "you are seriusly adorable" Which is affectionate - but neutral. There's nothing enticing there, and nothing making it clear she wants to go any further. She likes you. But it's not going anywhere. You need to understand that. You didn't ask about whether she liked you or not. She does, that's a given, it's obvious. Your question was: do you think it was dumb of me to go a little mushy on her and tel her how i felt? We told you. No. No problem there, not too mushy at all. But you're now expecting a confirmation of HER feelings for you and - I'm sorry - but she's not in any mindset to do anything more about it. She told you that. She's NOT READY.
Author tyler78jones Posted May 26, 2016 Author Posted May 26, 2016 then why should i give up!?!?!? weve been on 3 dates shes 90 minutes away
Author tyler78jones Posted May 26, 2016 Author Posted May 26, 2016 heres a text she sent two weeks ago when i asked what her opinionof me was i like you. alot. but i fel like i havent gotten to know you that well in person. ive only seen you 3 times. i want to see you more
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 You give up because she's told you SHE'S - NOT - READY. You either need to get her to clarify and spell it out, or go quiet and let her contact you. If she contacts you, (making sure it's not just 'breadcrumbs') then go from there. If she never contacts you - then she's made her point.
OnlyHonesty Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 what the hell SHE HAS TOLD ME MULTIPLE TIMES SHE LIKES ME MULTIPLE SHE EVEN SAID IT AFTER I TOLD HER I LIKED IT yet somehow you guys interpret that she doesnt? wtf Pay zero attention to what a woman tells you, just watch she does, how she acts and how she treats others. If you think her actions prove that she really is interested then you have your answer. Words are cheap... 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 heres a text she sent two weeks ago when i asked what her opinionof me was i like you. alot. but i fel like i havent gotten to know you that well in person. ive only seen you 3 times. i want to see you more In that case, is she blowing hot & cold? I think you need to find out what she wants, before you invest any more time and mileage.
Author tyler78jones Posted May 26, 2016 Author Posted May 26, 2016 In that case, is she blowing hot & cold? I think you need to find out what she wants, before you invest any more time and mileage. i feel she does like me just becuase shes not ready for me to come see her doesnt mean she isnt interested considering she has driven to see me!
OnlyHonesty Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 heres a text she sent two weeks ago when i asked what her opinionof me was i like you. alot. but i fel like i havent gotten to know you that well in person. ive only seen you 3 times. i want to see you more Here's a question you should be asking yourself. Do you think that a self assured man would ask her what her opinion of him was? Do you think that asking such a question builds attraction or diminishes it? Just a little food for thought. 2
katiegrl Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 i feel she does like me just becuase shes not ready for me to come see her doesnt mean she isnt interested considering she has driven to see me! I assume she isn't comfortable or not ready for you to come see her because she thinks you will want to stay with her? At her place? Franky I would not be ready for that either. Can you offer to drive to hers but tell her you will stay in a motel? That you just want to take her out on a date? So that eventually she does feel comfortable? 1
joseb Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 Here's a question you should be asking yourself. Do you think that a self assured man would ask her what her opinion of him was? Do you think that asking such a question builds attraction or diminishes it? Just a little food for thought. Yes OP, please do not ask anyone else that.
joseb Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 I assume she isn't comfortable or not ready for you to come see her because she thinks you will want to stay with her? At her place? Yeah Katie, good call, I think that/s what she meant too. 1
mikeylo Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 You did nothing wrong in telling her that you like her. You reciprocated her feelings. You both are on the same page. Don't analyze each and every word. You might end up messing it up. Go with the flow. Take it slow.
Mrin Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 OP's story in fishing: Last summer I went to a lake a couple of hours away from my house to fish for the day. I set up on a warm sunny bank and strung up my rod with a bobber and some salmon eggs. I cast my line out to a place where I could see a trout swimming around. After about five minutes without a bite I could still see the trout circling my bobber. I gave my line a gentle tug. Nothing. Five minutes later, I mutter under my breath, "don't you like my salmon egg?". Still nothing. After another five minutes I shouted, "DON'T YOU WANT MY SALMON EGG?" Still nothing. The trout kept swimming around and around. Feeling exasperated I tossed a pebble near my bobber. And then another. And another. And then a rock. And a large branch. Finally I shoved my head into the lake and screamed, "DON'T YOU WANT MY BAIT?!?!?" Sputtering and feeling somewhat embarrassed I pulled my head out of the water. And the trout was gone. I fished for the rest of the day and didn't catch anything. I wonder what I did wrong?! 1
Gaeta Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 What did you mean by you are willing to drive over there? Did you invite yourself over to her place? I thought you meant driving to her area for a date. OP would you answer this please.
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