Past , that you wouldn't want current partner to know

[mikeylo]

Have you guys done stuff that you wouldn't like your partner to know or haven't told ? Mine :

 

I slept with 5 women before I married my wife. She knows only 3.

 

I played with drugs for a while but was clean when I met her and haven't gone back in the last 25 years.

 

I ditched a friend in need ! Yeah

 

These are the worst that I did and never told my wife as she would see me in a different way if she knew. I learned from them and since then a good husband who doesn't bat an eye at any passing woman and completely failthful and devoted.

 

What are yours that you wouldn't want your partner to know. Or stuff that you told them and how did it turn affect your relationship , for good or worse ?

[TaraMaiden2]

I would never admit to anything, on line, if I was still with that partner and all it would take is a single moment's carelessness to leave my computer on, page open, for them to read it.

 

Congrats.

Hope your wife doesn't accidentally read this....

[ForeverAlone2016]

This has always been a tricky area for me as well.

 

I have done some things which I am not proud of at all. In my last relationship, I disclosed everything because I thought 'honesty was always the best policy'. He eventually accepted it but always teased me about it. They were hurtful but I let him get away with it.

 

In future relationships, I may avoid disclosing everything but not sure how it will work if one day they found out.

[todreaminblue]

I have always been upfront abut my past until it comes to exact numbers aand i cant give them that...did it have an affect...maybe.....but whatever happened or didnt happen.....i dont regret my honesty...and i will continue to be honest..i would regret dishonesty.......deb

[TaraMaiden2]

It's far better to be honest from the outset, than to have to be creatively imaginative later.

Back-pedalling is an unattractive prospect.

 

Liars need good memories, too....

[acrosstheuniverse]

I generally operate an open book policy, as I think if I'd done anything that was bad enough for my partner to be put off me, I'd rather he know now and can make the decision to stay or not than find out down the line. For example I wouldn't feel comfortable having a R with someone who'd previously had a serious long term affair while in a relationship, I know people can change but as someone who's never cheated (and for various reasons just could not) i wouldn't feel I could respect someone's integrity enough to be with them knowing they were capable of that. A drunken indiscretion, maybe I could look past and wouldn't need to know about (in a previous R) but a full blown affair with all the lies and deceit, I don't think I could ever trust that person 100%.

 

So, the things that my partner doesn't know about (I can only think of one or two) are things that I wouldn't mind him knowing, they've just never come up. If I felt I had to outright hide them from him that'd be a pretty huge indicator something was off and I should tell him. But these things, if he knew so what, there just hasn't been a reason to bring them up. They've never come up.

 

He isn't very nosey about my past and is incredibly non judgmental so he already knows a LOT of gory stuff... My high number of previous partners, the fact I used to be in a D/s relationship, even the fact that once, desperate, I considered and almost embarked upon sex work (I never went through with it). And he loves me nonetheless. If those things put him off me, which is obviously his right, I'd rather he know as I don't think we'd be compatible, given I'm very liberal and sexually open and adventurous. I feel if I had told him that stuff and he'd run a mile it'd be for the best as our values would be incompatible. We all have a past and I feel no shame for mine. I've never judged a partner on their previous escapades either, my ex had slept with triple digits prior to me and I've had a couple partners admit to having been with sex workers. Didn't bat an eyelid, so no doubt standards here. Infidelity is the one thing, because by its very nature it requires you to lie and be sneaky and dishonest. Those things are what rule someone out in my eyes from a serious R.

[NTV]

Have you guys done stuff that you wouldn't like your partner to know or haven't told ? Mine :

 

I slept with 5 women before I married my wife. She knows only 3.

 

I played with drugs for a while but was clean when I met her and haven't gone back in the last 25 years.

 

I ditched a friend in need ! Yeah

 

These are the worst that I did and never told my wife as she would see me in a different way if she knew. I learned from them and since then a good husband who doesn't bat an eye at any passing woman and completely failthful and devoted.

 

What are yours that you wouldn't want your partner to know. Or stuff that you told them and how did it turn affect your relationship , for good or worse ?

 

 

 

5 versus 3 probably won't mean anything to her, its the lying about it that is worse than the number there.

 

 

The drugs---does your work require a background check? if everything fell apart and she told them, would they look to see if you lied and fire you over it? Trickier, yeah. But ultimately, probably not a dealbreaker especially with 25 years sobriety. Again the lying is worse than the thing you've done.

 

 

Ditching a friend... without knowing the context it's impossible for me to say.

[Buddhist]

In actual fact containing our dirty laundry is our job really. Partners aren't for washing our consciences on especially when it did not concern them. Why burden the person you love with icky mess that you've since learnt from? What possible good will it do?

[Got it]

I have learned it is far better to be truthful and deal with the reaction than to hedge things and have to deal with the fall out if/when it is found out. You gain nothing from being dishonest.

[urmysong]

My husband did not tell me the truth that he and his secretary were lovers. When we met, I asked him if he had relationship with her and he answered No, we were just friends. But after 3 years when we already married and he got drunk, he just revealed it to my face that she was hot in bed, goes down on him while he was standing. That was too hurt...

[Toodaloo]

There is nothing I am ashamed of. Nothing I regret.

 

Apart from smoking but that is hardly a secret...

[Just a Guy]

UMS, that was cruel on the part of your husband. In your place I would find it difficult to forgive him, not for his indiscretion, but for his cruelty. Sorry but that's how I feel.

[Emilia]

Another one here for not posting anything online that I wouldn't say in real life.

 

There really isn't anything I can think of though, I own everything I've done the good and the bad.

[alwaysgreener]

I log in and kill time on LS at work, so no worries about being busted, and I've put enough out over the few years online that I might as well not be shy about it now.

 

My fiance assumes I was a total animal wild child prior to us getting together and is not interested in hearing much about my past. We got off to a fast start and to her I was a knight in shining armor, until, out of all things I got outed on Facebook by someone she knew that saw the pic she posted of us. These girls didn't have a good reputation and even though I had cut everybody off and moved on by then, she learned that the dates overlapped, and due to their repuation, that was bad enough

 

The truth is although I've had my wild moments, I've spent a lot of time by myself over the years, like months and months at a time with no sex in many stretches. The rest of time I was monogamous with a partner, or single with a "friend" or two or in a fling that fizzled out. Pretty ordinary guy stuff. Only a small handful of wild moments but unfortunately she found out about one.

[d0nnivain]

Everybody has skeletons in their closet. I think they belong there. Mine are quite happy there. They are having a party; they do not wish to come out & I'm perfectly happy to leave them in the closet