Mr. Reality Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by SweetSerenity Erika, whatever. If you read what I wrote and really read it and read between the lines, you'd see the first part was sorta funny, the second post was directed at a few people. I didn't name names, so jump off your moral highhorse. No one deserves to be called names or made out to be a whore. Two wrongs do not make a right. And yeah, what I wrote about people bashing others is downright true. You take a good look around you. Personally Erika I don't care what you think or say. Talking to me is like talking to a brick wall. No matter how much you try and overthrow my comments I'll always come back with something more, these forums are a nice way to vent on people as it would seem from my speculative point of view. Sometimes you get 'grown up' posters that truly try to help a person out. She didn't ask you to bash her, she didn't ask to be told "I told you so", "what'd you expect", etc etc etc......She asked what she should do about it. So deal with it! why read between the lines....write what you mean.and yes it's true....there are "grown up posters" here......however they are open minded and they are willing to listen...you yourself claim to be a brickwall and you state that you'll act childish.i merely stated facts.as for what she should do about it is...not do it anymore,but she already stated that she didn't care about seeing a married man...so why should she bothered that people are talking and writing nasty things about her?she doesn't care about hurting others yet cares when it gets turned on her....... my advice on what to do?....you made your bed...now lay in it and deal with it.
SweetSerenity Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Oh please. I can take whatever you have to throw at me sweetie. I don't change my views. You are really scraping the barrel trying to bash me, it's ok, I understand that you need to do that because you feel panged by me. Thats ok sweetie. Really it is. Here's a hug for you, I understand you need one. Mr. Unreality, you came on here and bashed her. You didn't offer her any kind of help for what she asked for. This girl came here to ask what she should do in regards to the writing on the wall, she didn't ask you to ask her what she expected. Get a grip guy!
Skeered Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by Mr. Reality why read between the lines....write what you mean.and yes it's true....there are "grown up posters" here......however they are open minded and they are willing to listen...you yourself claim to be a brickwall and you state that you'll act childish.i merely stated facts.as for what she should do about it is...not do it anymore,but she already stated that she didn't care about seeing a married man...so why should she bothered that people are talking and writing nasty things about her?she doesn't care about hurting others yet cares when it gets turned on her....... my advice on what to do?....you made your bed...now lay in it and deal with it. my thoughts exactly.. It seems that as long as the people that share what they feel about infedelity stay out of this particular part of the forum then everything is ok...but the people involved in the affair itself don't need to hear how wrong they are because they feel they are doin nothing wrong...it's called an OPEN FORUM people and anyone is entitled to post their feelings that's the whole point...if I were to say something pertaining to my life that someone didn't agree with I would expect to take the good with the bad...but I think those that have guilty consciences tend to not want to hear what they (hopefully) know somewhere deep in there hearts is wrong.
izzybelle Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 i find this all to be very sad... i had hoped as i grew older that the people around me would become more mature and more accepting of each other, and other people's behaviors recognizing that they very rarely know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. and that we ALL make mistakes. my kids have shared with me that the writing on the bathroom walls blasting, typically, other girls starts in elementary school. and why not? they walk into "adult" public restrooms so why wouldn't they think that that is an appropriate way to vent their frustration with another person. that when you've been hurt, the "accepted" thing is to strike back publically to humilate the person who "wronged" you! bottom line is that it's childish. and while the "act" may have been wrong, and i'm not defending infidelity there seem to be a lot of adults out there who still can't understand that people make mistakes and that it's the "act" and the "choice" that's bad, and not always necessarily the person. and while i hope my children learn that being honest in a relationship is a good thing, i hope they learn to find more appropriate ways to channel their frustration and anger and become mature adults that even when wronged or hurt are able to express themselves in ways other than writing slurs on bathroom walls.
Skeered Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 LOL newbby.. OK let me just speak for MYSELF in saying that my PERSONAL beliefs are that infedelity is WRONG...yes I have been the one hurt in a situation like this but whether I had been or not it's still my feeling that it's wrong... I personally never said I was without fault just stating that you play with fire expect to get burned..the stuff that was written on the bathroom wall should have been said right to this woman's face and directly to her...I don't feel that a workplace restroom is the mature approach but here again we don't know the age of this woman nor where she works or the age of her co-workers that would bring to light a lot of where the maturitry lies. I do agree with Mr. Reality's posts 100% I think that it does effect the workplace when one of the persons involved in the act opens their mouth and lets the co-workers (even if it's only one person) know about the act. I think that the people in the other man/woman thread are pretty quick to jump on someone that doesn't believe as they do that hurting someone's marriage or a child's home is incorrect is in my opinion a sign of the guilt that they feel. I have learned over time that a person with a guilty conscience will be the first to jump on someone who tries to correct them instead of taking the advice or concern into consideration...I haven't really heard that anyone involved in a "cheating" (call it what it is) relationship can handle criticism...they just immediatly jump down the throat of the person posting sayin no your wrong, you don't know everything, I'm not listening, you can't change my mind and on and on...these comments here state the side of a very immature person. Noone on here can make anyone change their lifestyle...but if you feel you cannot except the criticism thrown at you because we feel the choice you have made is incorrect then maybe you yourself need to wonder who has the real problems. IMO...
SweetSerenity Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 No one is condoning her affair. Let me get my point across, you know the immature one that you call it that won't change, my point is that her coming here asking about the writing on the wall was for help with that. Not so you guys could immediately jump all over her. I'm sure she feels bad enough without others horning in and telling her how immoral or what a slut she is or that she deserved it. Yup thats immature too. So you call me what you will, I really don't give two cents what you think. I do however think that if you aren't mature enough to give clear cut advice without bashing her on the other then I don't think you deserve the right to post your opinion at all. What for? You think bashing her is going to make her change what has happened? No it's not. I think infidelity is wrong, I've been there and done that, and I won't advocate it. However having said that, it happens. It happens all the time and the thing about it is that sometimes it's poor choices, other times it's out of vindictiveness and other times it's out of something else. But it HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. I don't think bashing this woman is going to change the span of the universe on cheating. Why would anyone want to come on these forums labeled "OtherMan/OtherWoman" for help if all they do is get bashed to hell and back? No one would want to do that. No one! Not even you! So please before you go and start putting words in peoples mouths before you start judging, and before you start spouting your mouth off about someone being immature, go look in the mirror.
newbby Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 No one is condoning her affair. Let me get my point across, you know the immature one that you call it that won't change, my point is that her coming here asking about the writing on the wall was for help with that. Not so you guys could immediately jump all over her. I'm sure she feels bad enough without others horning in and telling her how immoral or what a slut she is or that she deserved it. Yup thats immature too. So you call me what you will, I really don't give two cents what you think. I do however think that if you aren't mature enough to give clear cut advice without bashing her on the other then I don't think you deserve the right to post your opinion at all. What for? You think bashing her is going to make her change what has happened? No it's not. I think infidelity is wrong, I've been there and done that, and I won't advocate it. However having said that, it happens. It happens all the time and the thing about it is that sometimes it's poor choices, other times it's out of vindictiveness and other times it's out of something else. But it HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. I don't think bashing this woman is going to change the span of the universe on cheating. Why would anyone want to come on these forums labeled "OtherMan/OtherWoman" for help if all they do is get bashed to hell and back? No one would want to do that. No one! Not even you! So please before you go and start putting words in peoples mouths before you start judging, and before you start spouting your mouth off about someone being immature, go look in the mirror. great post ss very true speaking from personal experience of being the ow, the matter of right and wrong doesnt really make a difference in the continuation/cease of an affair. this is not because as an ow you have no idea that it is "wrong", its because it is irrelevant to your actual feelings in the relationship. the only people really qualified to give advice are either people who have been there, or people that are very intelligent and wise and compassionate.
Mr. Reality Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by SweetSerenity Oh please. I can take whatever you have to throw at me sweetie. I don't change my views. You are really scraping the barrel trying to bash me, it's ok, I understand that you need to do that because you feel panged by me. Thats ok sweetie. Really it is. Here's a hug for you, I understand you need one. Mr. Unreality, you came on here and bashed her. You didn't offer her any kind of help for what she asked for. This girl came here to ask what she should do in regards to the writing on the wall, she didn't ask you to ask her what she expected. Get a grip guy! lol...first off..i don't remember trying to bash you.you stated "Talking to me is like talking to a brick wall. No matter how much you try and overthrow my comments I'll always come back with something more"....that sounds very childish to me.maybe even some others on here. second...i never bashed her.this is a public forum and i stated my views...and i did give advice...i told her to deal with it...she caused this situation herself and these are the results.this is not bashing her in anyway,shape or form.....i'm sorry if i'm not molycodling her...personally i don't she she's deserving of it.she made a grown up decision without caring what the results were and now she cares that someone is writing something nasty about her....well...you should have thought about that before you did the act of sleeping with him.if she didn't care then....why care now?we all do stupid stuff...personally,i have had a couple of affairs and one of them went very bad....i didn't seek any advice because there wasn't any to be given to me....wanna know why?because it's a choice i made to do it....and i accepted any and ALL reprocussions afterwards....and trust me....i caught alot of crap for along time.i'm not passing judgement on her,especailly seeing as i'm just as guilty as she is for an act like that...but i dealt with it. don't get me wrong now....i don't sugarcoat anything...i tell you what i feel or what i know.i don't expect anything less of anyone when telling me something,so i don't do it with other people.i'm sorry if you don't like that,but then i really don't care either.that's your issue...not mine.i'm not bashing you either.as for me feeling panged by you...you have got to be kidding me....but nice try though.as for the hug?thanks...but no thanks,you're not my type. once again......my advice....deal with it.....however you have to do it...just do it.no one else can do it for you.whether you ignore it,cry about it,post on here about it or confront her about it....do whatever you have to do.just do it.
SweetSerenity Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 "she made a grown up decision without caring what the results were and now she cares that someone is writing something nasty about her....well...you should have thought about that before you did the act of sleeping with him.if she didn't care then....why care now?" You just made yourself sound like what you really are. I'm through with you. You can't even talk without contradicting yourself and you're full of it. How bright you must feel. As for being your type, honey, hah! You wouldn't be fit to lick the **** off my shoes.
Mr. Reality Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 Originally posted by SweetSerenity Talking to me is like talking to a brick wall. No matter how much you try and overthrow my comments I'll always come back with something more You just made yourself sound like what you really are. I'm through with you. You can't even talk without contradicting yourself and you're full of it. How bright you must feel. As for being your type, honey, hah! You wouldn't be fit to lick the **** off my shoes. like i said before....another childish response.
I as the OW Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 I didn't start this thread for the members here to get into a fight, geeze! Everyone just needs to calm down and stop arguing about it. I'm not worried about it anymore. Let people think what they want. If they want to play childish games and write sh@t about me on the bathroom walls, that is ok, let them be childish and immature. The message is gone now. No one was fired because of it so either they found out who did it and just gave them a slap on the hand or they just didn't care. Makes me want to quit my job now because of it. Someone should of been punished! Makes me wonder what type of place would allow this kind of childish behavior and let it go. Another good reason to find another job is because my mm broke it off with me. Things seem pretty cool between us now, but what happens when things starting getting complicated? If they get complicated. Since he is my supervisor how long will it take before he starts treating me unfairly because I am sure this has been hard on him with is W. I am sure he is getting a lot of he!! from her because of the A. I am sure he blames me for him having an A because I was the one that persued him and didn't stop until I had him. He could of said NO. He told me he admitted the A to his W but she was willing to give the M a try. I just have a feeling that he is going to start being a jerk sooner or later. If he starts treated me unfairly I will either quit to get away from him, or I will report him to the HR dept.
Mr. Reality Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 OW....i know the position your in....and it isn't very good.you are correct...your job will start to suffer worse than it has already,it's only a matter of time.if you can,i would start sending your resume out as soon as possible.keep this info as quiet as possible as it may accelerate the crap you may catch at work.
I was the OW Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Originally posted by Mr. Reality OW....i know the position your in....and it isn't very good.you are correct...your job will start to suffer worse than it has already,it's only a matter of time.if you can,i would start sending your resume out as soon as possible.keep this info as quiet as possible as it may accelerate the crap you may catch at work. I have been looking in the newspapers for another job. I applied at another plant but they were not hiring at the time so I will continue to look elsewhere for another job. I hope exmm and I can remain friends but right now, it's too soon to tell.
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