The N.C. Rule

[mike441]

new blood here. i've recently been DUMPED [ unknowingly to me ]a bit about us i'm 52 , she's 54 . we met as strangers hit it off [ about 4 yrs ago ] she was Married [ we worked in the same place ] we're nothing more than co-worker friends [ with the other employees too ] .WHEN she was divorce a while . i asked her out , she accepted .we hit it off BIG TIME ...dating going on about 3 1/2 yrs now .she's totally the Love of my Life.

 

WELL for maybe 2 months now she's being distant [ i ask what's wrong ] oh it's work is all [ she says ] .we make plans to go out EITHER she calls last minute and cancels [ she's at her girl-friends house] sometimes doesn't even call just cancels.i notice BIG changes in her .

 

3 weeks ago she comes over we watch a movie and talk .i'm feeling coldness and distance from her . i say what's wrong .k we've been having some pretty heated discussions lately , nothing that could have been solved with communication and compromise .. i have a BAD gut feeling from her actions .

 

i simply say '' hun is their someone else you're interested in , someone you want to be with ?'' she says '' no '' BUT not as happy as we were at first , i agree and say '' we can work it out these are the relationship hills'' .we hang out more times , my gut is killing me .NOW she lives near me , i walk my dog by her place . she's not home weeknights [ weird ] i mention this to her '' oh i went to my friends'' o.k. but can you communicate with me .she gets defensive .it's happening more and more.weekends also .i voice my concerns about communication . get told '' can't you walk your dog the other way'' hmmm weird.

 

WHEN we sit and talk [ and i keep my cool ]she says '' be honest with me'' i say no problem. ''do i walk my dog later just to see if she's home'' i say '' i'm not proud to admit BUT i Love and Respect you yes i have''. she says it's ''weird'' i ask for honesty about her wanting another i get a simple '' no'' .

 

SHE was her Thurs , before she left i say '' call me later ,let me know what you think of what we said'' she agrees . no call 10 min later i walk the dog she's not home , she hasn't been home .my suspicion she's seeing another [ no proof though ].NOW on Sat i'm hanging out outside i see a motorcycle in her driveway , a guy ,the walk towards each other hug ,kiss go inside a few back out and leave.. MON she comes over my place [ she hadn't been home Sat/Sun ] . I calmly tell her what i saw , describe the bike and the guy she tells me '' i don't know it all '' i agree and say we'll clue me in ? she says theirs nothing to clue you in about .

 

LAST night she stopped by we talked [ i got no answers] she left as usual said talk later , she said if she could ....my phone rings i answer her number BUT noone on the other end ] it was a butt dial ] i clearly hear her and some guy talking / laughing un able to make out what;s said .i'm CRUSHED.

 

BEING my gut was killing me when she was here , and noticed changes , and asked what i've asked her about someone else .she had jewelry here i gave her a necklace she loves i said '' hun take this don't care if you wear it ,put it on your dresser or whatever just when you see it remember who gave it to you and why '' she cried ,i went to hold her she pulled back .

 

i said '' in 2 weeks ring my bell with the necklace and let me know if you're in this relationship with me '', ''is that fair ? '' crying she said it's fair .

 

k i basically know the reply coming , she's not calling me ,stopping by on her own etc .SHE could have been an adult and communicated with me about another when i asked.even told her anything you want to say hard or not like a band aid just rip it off [ say it ] i go no reply .

 

soo i'm miserable ,angry ,confused .spend time on the net reading about cheaters . and the kicker is his woman was cheated on yrs ago that's why she's divorced , recently i said '' hun when you were cheted on how did you feel ? '' she said '' horrible'' i said didn't you fight to keep your family together she said '' of course but after a while she stopped fighting '' i said hun our issues can be worked out no doubt but you have to work them with me , don't hurt me .BUT here i am

Edited May 25, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraph spacing ~6

[mike441]

k i see a-lot of people mentioning '' No Contact '' and saying '' it's for the dumped to heal , and work on themselves no matter how hard it can be '' .it is hard and i agree .

NOW is it also for the dumpe ? not hearing from who they've hurt , does it make them think , wonder about who they've hurt , maybe have them reflect on their actions ,even if they have cheated and are starting a new relationship [ which is my case ] ?

[PegNosePete]

Goodness, your post is extremely difficult to read. It looks like an explosion in a punctuation factory. Apologies if I've misunderstood anything, but it's very difficult to understand.

 

She is clearly cheating on you. What you need to do now is to go NC for you to heal. Don't worry about her or what she's thinking or feeling. Who cares? All that matters is your feelings, and NC is the best way to heal.

[Satu]

I read the first two paragraphs and gave up.

[fixing]

OK. I read your post. Sorry to hear this. It does in fact sound like she was cheating.

 

NC is for you and you only. She is worthless to you now. Trust is broken, permanently.

 

I know its very hard but you got to seriously cut all contact. Block her numbers. And, find a different route to walk your dog.

 

There is no going back from this. Don't you deserve more respect and treatment then this? You got to be done with this woman. Period. Get back your self esteem and with nc you will heal, eventually.

[TaraMaiden2]

I agree. NC is for you. Read the Guide, the link is in my signature.

I also agree with your mode of writing.

 

Love PNP's comment..."Explosion in a punctuation factory"...!

 

I don't know who taught you to write like that but I'd sue.