sweetpea01 Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 Long story short, BF and I have been together for about 3 (rocky) years. Lately, I've had to go through a move, family issues, etc. and he and I have been at each other's throats. The other nite (Saturday) we went out on a casual date but had a huge fight due to a very insensitive comment he made. It was rude, and I was on edge. I stormed out of the car, broke up with him, and slammed the door. Next morning he called a few times, but I was sooo overwhelmed with life that I kept pushing him away. He said okay, I won't call you. Sunday, I sit home and think about why I am acting out. Monday, I come to some conclusions, and Monday evening I ask him to meet me to talk. I tell him my thoughts...mainly that I am going through a rough time in my life, I have to adjust to a lot of things, I am stressed, and I am lashing out at him when I should not. I apologized and told him I loved him, and we should work it out. He was semi-reluctant, which caught me off guard. I said, okay..think about it. Before I got out of the car, he hugged me and told me he loved me too, and we were together again. We hung out Tuesday and again today. Things started oout great. We met for coffee...talked, kissed, laughed, etc. As we were going home (tonight), he was like, wow...I'm in love with you all over again. Then he drops the bomb. Sunday evening, he emailed the girl he used to see/mess around with!!!! Just hours after we had our fight! I was fuming! I said WTF?!?! He said YOU broke up with ME, and I had to move on. I said, yes, I did...but we've broken up before...and we ALWAYS have worked it out. I thought maybe you'd wait a week out of respect! Or at least not damage something to the point where it cannot be fixed! Anyway, it escalated, and I said I was just disappointed. He has made many mistakes in this relationship, and though I have wanted to walk away - I never did anything rash. I thought about what I would give up, and acted accordingly. There have been so many times he has asked me to take a week and think, and give him a chance - so I sort of expected the same!!! I feel bad about what he did, and I'm just wondering if this is a huge issue..or if its something I shuold let go. Any input really appreciated... Ugh...it's gonna be a long sleepless night. SP
lostinmyself Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 He emailed her and then told you when you got back together. Big deal. Sleeping with her would be a big deal, not emailing. Maybe he just felt he needed to talk to someone......
Author sweetpea01 Posted June 23, 2005 Author Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by lostinmyself He emailed her and then told you when you got back together. Big deal. Sleeping with her would be a big deal, not emailing. Maybe he just felt he needed to talk to someone...... LOST: Yea, I'd be incredibly hurt if he slept with her, and I'm glad it didn't get that far. I am pretty sure he didn't email her to "talk" though. I guess for me, I'm hurt that he could just up and move on! It only took me 2 days to sort out my feelings, but if it had taken me a week who knows what would have happened. Maybe it's just my ego...I don't know. But I didn't call up any of my ex-bf's in 2 days! I didn't even consider it. SP
froggytroat Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 3 rocky years, why the hell are you still with him? Why not find someone without all the drama?
She_Devil Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 At least he was honest about the email. He could have never told you and you would have been none the wiser. Why bitch and moan about stupid little things. You have to pick your battles and take the good with the bad.
Author sweetpea01 Posted June 23, 2005 Author Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by froggytroat 3 rocky years, why the hell are you still with him? Why not find someone without all the drama? I said rocky meaning that we have had times where we've broken up before. Yes, there are rough times...most relationships have them. I didn't think our issues were worth ending our relationship over. SP
Author sweetpea01 Posted June 23, 2005 Author Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by She_Devil At least he was honest about the email. He could have never told you and you would have been none the wiser. Why bitch and moan about stupid little things. You have to pick your battles and take the good with the bad. SHE_DEVIL: Yes, he was honest and I am happy about that. I was simply hurt by his actions, and I was wondering if what he did is horrible, or if he acted within ok boundaries. Obviously I'm not happy - but maybe I don't have a reason. SP
mental_traveller Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 IMO if you break off with someone, it's really none of your business what they do after that. If he had slept with her the next night, that would have been perfectly ok IMO. If you don't want your SO to be a free agent able to do what they please, then simple - don't dump them in the first place! If you do dump them, then at least have the courage of your convictions and keep your nose out of their affairs.
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