livinglife2019 Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 I've been dating this guy for about 3 weeks we have met about 6 times 3 of which where sleepovers " I know sex too soon ruins things", we seem to have a lot in common, and get on well! If I smile he smiles right back at me, but he does it in a very genuine way. He likes to wind me up to get reactions from me, which I have learnt to deal with! My issue is, he seems to be pulling back. We used to text each other all the time and generally had great conversations! Now he seems to be pulling away. He will see a text yet wont reply (I know this sounds needy) not texting back drives me crazy in general! I do think he might be seeing others, which I don't mind because we are still only dating! How can I tell if he is really interested? or how can I ask if he is? Is it too soon or not to ask him if he is dating other people? Not sure if this is important but our last date was to the movies ( went to see X-men which was crap! ) I wanted to pay for the two of us yet he paid for himself and didn't offer to pay for me. Now I never expect a guy to pay for me so I don,t mind paying for myself. I just found it a little weird. Any advice on this? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Let him initiate now. Yes, I feel it's too soon to ask if he's dating other girls. You've only been out a few times. See what the next few weeks bring. He might be pulling back, but you won't know if you don't relax and see what he does on his own volition. You say he likes to wind you up - what do you mean? 2
basil67 Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 You say he likes to wind you up - what do you mean? Tease by saying something which they know will make their partner bite 1
basil67 Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Yes, let him initiate. With him not answering the texts, are the texts you send actual questions? Do you know that he's got the time to answer them? Just checking that you're not sending rubbish texts while he's at work. Sex too soon doesn't ruin things IF both parties are really into each other. I know plenty of couples who had sex quickly. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Tease by saying something which they know will make their partner bite Yes, I know that the term means. To clarify - OP, can you give some examples of what he says? I suppose it's not clear to me whether he's trying to excite you or make you jealous, or..? 2
Author livinglife2019 Posted May 24, 2016 Author Posted May 24, 2016 Tease by saying something which they know will make their partner bite He changed the name of his dating profile to next! When I mentioned it to him he said he done it to get a response from me! He also told me that he hasn't replied to messages on his dating profile! He will also say stuff along the lines of say something interesting and I might listen! I know he doesn't mean it in a rude way but is trying to gain a response out of me! I also noticed he hasn't my number saved in his phone!
basil67 Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 He changed the name of his dating profile to next! When I mentioned it to him he said he done it to get a response from me! He also told me that he hasn't replied to messages on his dating profile! He will also say stuff along the lines of say something interesting and I might listen! I know he doesn't mean it in a rude way but is trying to gain a response out of me! I also noticed he hasn't my number saved in his phone! For what it's worth, I wouldn't date someone who did stuff to get a rise out of me. The dating profile thing he's done is just weird. And "say something interesting and I might listen" is rude no matter how you look at it. Next him. 1
Toodaloo Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 For what it's worth, I wouldn't date someone who did stuff to get a rise out of me. The dating profile thing he's done is just weird. And "say something interesting and I might listen" is rude no matter how you look at it. Next him. Read this... You do need to stop thinking about what you can do to catch him and instead throw him back in the pond. Thats just weird behavior. Really weird. And rude... really rude. 3
tinkerbell16 Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 He changed the name of his dating profile to next! When I mentioned it to him he said he done it to get a response from me! He also told me that he hasn't replied to messages on his dating profile! He will also say stuff along the lines of say something interesting and I might listen! I know he doesn't mean it in a rude way but is trying to gain a response out of me! I also noticed he hasn't my number saved in his phone! Bread crumbs and bratty behavior? He is using you for sex. Next him unless you are 100 % OK with being used. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 OP, I agree with the others that this guy is no good. The things he's doing and saying to wind you up are not just flirty banter. It's rude and smells of manipulation. Given this, I would say that he's not seriously interested at all. I wouldn't date a guy who does things like that anyway. 1
Audacious Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 He likes to wind me up to get reactions from me, which I have learnt to deal with! My issue is, he seems to be pulling back. We used to text each other all the time and generally had great conversations! Now he seems to be pulling away. He will see a text yet wont reply (I know this sounds needy) not texting back drives me crazy in general! I do think he might be seeing others, which I don't mind because we are still only dating! strategic pull back , he is giving you a taste of how sweet it is with him , an then he pulls away to tick you off balance .... distance creates fondness , don't fall for that , let him chase you instead , if he doesn't text, don't communicate with him , let him wonder instead , grow distant for a while , let him panic and then give him another taste of sweetness 1
Lois_Griffin Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 I've been dating this guy for about 3 weeks we have met about 6 times 3 of which where sleepovers " I know sex too soon ruins things", we seem to have a lot in common, and get on well! If I smile he smiles right back at me, but he does it in a very genuine way. He likes to wind me up to get reactions from me, which I have learnt to deal with! My issue is, he seems to be pulling back. We used to text each other all the time and generally had great conversations! Now he seems to be pulling away. He will see a text yet wont reply (I know this sounds needy) not texting back drives me crazy in general! I do think he might be seeing others, which I don't mind because we are still only dating! How can I tell if he is really interested? or how can I ask if he is? Is it too soon or not to ask him if he is dating other people? Not sure if this is important but our last date was to the movies ( went to see X-men which was crap! ) I wanted to pay for the two of us yet he paid for himself and didn't offer to pay for me. Now I never expect a guy to pay for me so I don,t mind paying for myself. I just found it a little weird. Any advice on this? When you have ZERO expectations in a guy and little to no respect for yourself or your self worth, this is the type of 'relationship' you'll always get. Some loser who thinks you're ok to have sex with when he's got nothing better going on, but doesn't even think you're worth the price of a $12 movie ticket. That's what ZERO expectations gets ya. 3
SilverAccount Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Turn the tables and let him chase you, he seems to be playing some games, if he really wants you hold back and let him come running. 2
ilovemefirst Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Ive dated guys who come on strong and then pull back. When i leavethem be, they come back. Most guys do this, especially when they are talkin to other chicks and their attention is divided. Dont initiate anymore contact. If he likes you, he will be back. 1
kztar Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Read this... You do need to stop thinking about what you can do to catch him and instead throw him back in the pond. Thats just weird behavior. Really weird. And rude... really rude. Very. NEXT this guy ASAP before you're too invested. 1
katiegrl Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Let him initiate now. Yes, I feel it's too soon to ask if he's dating other girls. You've only been out a few times. See what the next few weeks bring. He might be pulling back, but you won't know if you don't relax and see what he does on his own volition. You say he likes to wind you up - what do you mean? They have been out six times and have had sex three times. Once sex enters the picture (or actually before) I think it is very important to find out what his intentions are and if he is or plans to continue dating (and possibly having sex with) other women. 2
Author livinglife2019 Posted May 25, 2016 Author Posted May 25, 2016 They have been out six times and have had sex three times. Once sex enters the picture (or actually before) I think it is very important to find out what his intentions are and if he is or plans to continue dating (and possibly having sex with) other women. Thanks Katiegrl, Still turn on what to do, I haven't been in contact with him all day, so I'm going to let him text me first at least that way I will know if he is somewhat interested. My gut normally tells me things that I tend to ignore but with this guy I havent had any bad gut feelings!
Author livinglife2019 Posted May 25, 2016 Author Posted May 25, 2016 Ive dated guys who come on strong and then pull back. When i leavethem be, they come back. Most guys do this, especially when they are talkin to other chicks and their attention is divided. Dont initiate anymore contact. If he likes you, he will be back. I haven't messaged him all day, but he hasn't either! I'm going to give him 2 days and If I hear nothing I plan on cutting all contact with him.
Cinnamonstix Posted May 25, 2016 Posted May 25, 2016 I haven't messaged him all day, but he hasn't either! I'm going to give him 2 days and If I hear nothing I plan on cutting all contact with him. Why bother waiting for him to contact you at all? He has basically said that he will listen to you talk if you can entertain him. Translation: he's not that into you. Move on and "next" him, as his username suggests he has already done to you.
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