drewdude Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 (edited) Hello LS, my old friend.. Me(32) She(27) My ex GF of a year broke up with me a about a month and few days ago. It started over a stupid politically correct event I posted about on facebook that I was just joking about. She started arguing with me on my post and all my friends saw it. I got really heated and didn't talk to her for almost a day. So once i cooled off, I told her it was the last time I was going to apologize/initiate for something she started. Right after that, she totally blew up on me. She started bringing up communication issues we had and insisted they were unfixable (which was total bs, and one of the reasons was I didn't post enough pictures of us on social media, no joke). She pretty much broke it off with me over text/messenger. She said she would give me the decency to talk in person but only on grounds that it would be a breakup talk. I said screw that because there was no point in going down there if she was going to break up in my face. So I leave it at that, text her hours later saying it was really dumb how this all blew up over an fb post and wanted to talk. I call her to try and reconcile because I loved this girl and didn't want to lose her. I invested so much time, money and energy into her. First girl I actually went on out of state trips with, met her family(was the first guy to), even her distant family a month before the breakup happened. I generally treated her good and was a gentleman to her regardless of our communication issues late in the relationship. I cried/begged/pleaded to give us a chance to work on our communication issues but she said her feelings weren't into it anymore and gave me the classic "I love you but not in love with you". I find it ridiculous because a few days before the breakup, we spent the whole weekend together and the sex/her affection was still there, even saying she still missed me when I got home. When I was saying my final goodbye, she tried pushing friendship card on me saying "remember, I'm always willing to be your friend" "I still care for you and respect you, lets try to be friends" But I didn't agree to it and have been NC since, its soo hard though. A couple days after breakup, I see that she already has her profile on a couple of online dating sites and it totally killed me. I also peeked her instagram(big mistake, I know) a couple weeks ago and shes posting pictures of herself saying shes starting a new chapter in her life and had videos of her getting drunk/going out with new guys. She would always complain about people who move on too fast, and look at her now. I joined a new gym to try and push my workouts to the next level. But still think about her most of the time. I even went out and slept with old flings but it didn't help much... Anyone ever heard those words before? Did they ever come back months/years down the line? At 32 years old I feel that I have failed at having a stable relationship. im 36 days out and it still hurts :/ I know that its over but my mind is still dwelling. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you for your time. Edited May 24, 2016 by drewdude
ydb_xo Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 crazy. my ex of seven years and i broke up. funny the age is same as well he was 32, i am 27 lol. same issue, he was no longer in love with me. he pretty much did the same thing with social media, made it very clear that he's single blah blah. and i too have been a month and a half nc. its hard, but stay strong. during the breakup i tried to reason, plead all that ****..now i realized, once theyre in that mindset, theres really nothing we can do. they have no feeling and no love anymore. i havent looked at any of his social media for a month now, just keep away from everything. he hasnt called either, but i think if he did, it will only set me back and make me hurt even more. i know he's happy doing his own thing, no reason for me to sit and wait for someone that might not even come back.
bummer Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Sounds like she decided a small thing was her ticket to singles ville. My ex said not enough pictures was a major factor in her breaking up with me too. Jealously and insecurity about infidelity? Anyways, I'm guessing your lady was full on gigs and the begging didn't help because she was already gone (my ex too!). Keep up the NC and stay off her social media and try to get your focus and attention back on being a whole person. That's where I am and it feels awful most days. Good luck.
fixing Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Everything about this girl reeks of self entitlement. She has disrespected you publicly on social media. She has also tossed you aside. Do you REALLY want to get back with her? Its done. You had a lucky escape imo. She sounds like a selfish immature superficial head wreck. Continue NC and you got to stop snooping her online profiles. It sets you back to square one.
PegNosePete Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 the classic "I love you but not in love with you". Yeah, classic line from the cheater's handbook. Literally page 1. Every single cheater uses this line. So that probably explains many things. She cheated, and wanted to break up with you. But she didn't want to admit guilt, and wanted to make it all your fault. So she started a fight on facebook and allowed it get out of hand, so that it would lead to a break-up. Now she gets to tell all her friends and family that you're the bad guy. For her, it's win-win. Best thing you can do is carry on the NC. STOP stalking her dating profile and instagram and all other social media.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 ...she ... gave me the classic "I love you but not in love with you"..... Yeah, classic line from the cheater's handbook. Literally page 1. Every single cheater uses this line..... Yes, agreed. That and the other classic he mentioned - ..."remember, I'm always willing to be your friend" "I still care for you and respect you, lets try to be friends" OP, walk away, go complete NC and never look back, ever. Read the NC Guide (see my signature/link) and read every last word, through and through.... Go for it.
Author drewdude Posted May 24, 2016 Author Posted May 24, 2016 (edited) Everything about this girl reeks of self entitlement. She has disrespected you publicly on social media. She has also tossed you aside. Do you REALLY want to get back with her? Its done. You had a lucky escape imo. She sounds like a selfish immature superficial head wreck. Continue NC and you got to stop snooping her online profiles. It sets you back to square one. Yes. She was quite immature for a 27 year old. She has a nice car her dad gave her years ago. She was also quite the alcoholic(had her dorm drawer filled with beer bottles/snuck beer into her college library when studying) and constantly ranted online and even posted 6 snap chats in a row with the camera in her face complaining/taking about something. Yes I'm done with the stalking. I won't lie that even after a month it still hurts. I stuck with this girl through her worst and did so much for her. Edited May 24, 2016 by drewdude
fixing Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Yes. She was quite immature for a 27 year old. She has a nice car her dad gave her years ago. She was also quite the alcoholic(had her dorm drawer filled with beer bottles/snuck beer into her college library when studying) and constantly ranted online and even posted 6 snap chats in a row with the camera in her face complaining/taking about something. Yes I'm done with the stalking. I won't lie that even after a month it still hurts. I stuck with this girl through her worst and did so much for her. Fair play for sticking out a month already man. And, if she is alcoholic too, which by the sounds of it she is, then that is further reason why you should stay well clear. It is a very serious mental disease and would have added a serious burden on you if you stuck around. Yea, of course it still hurts. Why wouldnt it?? 1 month v 1 year relationship? The ratio right now is very much still weighing on the raw emotions one would expect to feel after a break up. Keep up the good work with NC and deffo stay well clear of all social media.
Author drewdude Posted May 24, 2016 Author Posted May 24, 2016 Yeah, it's been a rough month. I finally mustered up the courage to post on here because my social circle seems tired of it. Ive been in a good amount of relationships but this one hurts the most. We had so much in common, even little things, both had good families and thought this was gonna be it for me, we clicked perfectly in the beginning. It sucks how someone can throw something away even when youre telling them you are fighting for them and willing to fix things. It's also a sad world we live in when someone has to base a relationship on social media posts/pics and get validation from strangers. I may not have took lots of pics of us but I tagged us everywhere and never hid any pics of us she posted. My friends/family knew of her and I felt that should have been enough. She's also out monkey branching/seeing new people while I'm here hurt. So it's obvious she doesn't gives 2 damns about me. I don't even have the urge to date right now. The only positive thing I've done so far is hitting the gym like a madman, 6 times a week and still in NC since the breakup. But still cant get back into old hobbies as of yet. I want this all to be over and hope there is someone better out there for me. 1
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