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Are these Red Flags? Guy I haven't even been dating for a month is already complainin

Lolita_Sky

By Lolita_Sky
in Dating

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Lansing Established Member

Lansing

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This was a curve ball I dodged. So I'm just chalking it up to experience.

 

OK, based on what you said then you made the right decision to move on.

SilverAccount Member

SilverAccount

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Follow everyone's advice, if he's interested the effort would be there. Move on he will only be holding you back.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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Since so much of your confusion seems to stem from what you are doing while in bed together, get OUT of the bed until you're both ready to have sex. He sounds more awkward and inexperienced and maybe social anxiety than anything. He seems fearful, but at least he's not so fearful he can't ask a girl out, though he seems too timid and now the least little adjustment or demand from you has scared him all the way back to too afraid to try again, which isn't good. To me, it sounds like two people not ready for this yet, to be honest. Trying to set strange parameters while piling on top of each other in bed, which is nuts. Seems like if the mutual attraction was strong enough, it would have taken over by now.

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hasaquestion Established Member

hasaquestion

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Posted
The guy is just very low-interest. It's as simple as that.

 

The problem with this situation is that you keep investing in him - while he isn't investing in you. You keep putting time and energy into this. Investment is one of the ways that we start to feel love for someone (I think women even more so than men in this regard).

 

But investing in this guy will be like a bottomless pit. And the more you invest the harder it will be to walk away.

 

That's one of the reasons why someone will hang around for ages with someone who doesn't care very much.

 

I suggest you cut your losses here. I don't think you are ever going to get the sort of relationship you want from this guy.

 

Perhaps read up on 'Sunken Cost Theory':

 

https://youarenotsosmart.com/2011/03/25/the-sunk-cost-fallacy/

 

Not to hijack this thread, but the book which the blog author references (Predictably Irrational) is an absolute must-read.

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