Love life is a mess! HELP!!!

[2ndgenrationOW]

Ok well to start i guess we go back way back. I dated a guy from Feb 2001 till Nov 2002 he was abusive and hurt me bad self esteem wise and messed me up I was in therapy for a year during and after.

 

In Dec of 2002 I meet a good guy and he helped me though all the hurt of the other guy we split up in April 2004. And I found out he cheated. When we dated we also lived together for sometime.

 

After him I dated a bit them meet a nether guy in July 2004 and fell head over heals in love and I know he loves me also but the problem with him is he is married! Not at all happy he married her cause she was having his baby, then when he was ready to walk out on her and she knew she was going to have another baby so we ended it which broke my heart this was in May 2005.

 

I am now seeing a guy sort of who is 9 years older then me ( I am 21 he is almost 30)

and he seems to be a good guy, but he just was in a year and a half thing and says he does not want a Girlfriend he is looking more for friends with benefits, and i thought i could do but i'm now thinking i like him more but don't know how he feels. After 2 and 1/2 dates we did have sex and yeah now he calls but not as much and i don't know if i made a huge mistake with him and if he just used me to get some.

 

I guess my big question is should i forget about the new guy and just be alone?

I see all my friends finding there true loves and getting married now and i want that also but don't also even know where to meet guys. I meet first 2 at school and second 2 at work, Where do you meet guys as you get older?

and again what to do with the guys i have been with and what about one i am sort of with?

[Artscrafter]

The guy you're with now defined your relationship as FWB from the start. That means it's casual sex and not much else. It's unfortunate that you're getting more attracted to him because it's probably not being reciprocated. It's possible for a guy to fall in love with someone they've got FWB with, but far more often it's only the woman who becomes attracted and it falls apart after she just can't take the angst anymore.

 

My advice is get rid of the guy. And learn to appreciate yourself more when you're single.

I see all my friends finding there true loves and getting married now and i want that also

First off, this is a very dangerous attitude to have. You go into everything desperately wanting a boyfriend/future husband, and not only does it impair your judgement, but guys can smell a desperate woman a mile away. And second, what's the rush? You're only 21. Lots of people get married for the first time a good deal older than that.

 

So yeah, ditch this guy, and take some time to work up your self-esteem while you're single. You'll come across as not needing a man, which is attractive to men. And the next time you get into a relationship, do it because you enjoy the company of the guy, not because you really want a boyfriend.