mr.applesauce Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 Hey guys. Well my problems is that I've been dating a girl for 2 months and a half and everyone told me she liked me alot and that she wanted to be with me.During this time period we acted like a couple pretty much(i.e Kissing,making out,holding hands.)Well I got through asking her out and I said "I had a speech to say but I'm just going to go straight to it" So then I asked her and she said she wanted to hear my speech but next time.So then about 3 days went by and we were talking on the phone...and she told me she didn't want a relationship, she wasn't ready for it right now.Well that made everything awkward and I'm starting to talk to her again kind of normal but I'm not sure on what to do...should I tell her my feelings?should I back off?
Artscrafter Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 I'm confused... You've been dating her for 2 months but only just now asked her out? Anyway, I'm sorry but you'll just have to back down from this one. She said she didn't want a relationship, and telling her how you feel about her is unlikely to change that. If anything it'd just make things more awkward.
Author mr.applesauce Posted June 23, 2005 Author Posted June 23, 2005 The thing is that...she said she didn't want a relationship right now but she said she didn't want to stay as friends...it is not cause of feelings..it's cause she was in a 2 year relationship and came hurt out of it and since then she hasn't had a boyfriend...so she's scared to have a boyfriend..that's waht she said
Artscrafter Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 Ah. Well, if it's that she's uneasy with the prospect of having a boyfriend, that's different. What you'll need to do if you want to pursue her is put yourself into a boyfriend-like role where she's comfortable with you. Take her out on dates, but take it slow (let it go at her pace.) Try to spend more time with her and let her get more comfortable around you. And hold off on spilling out all your feelings at her for a while because that still creates tension at the start. PS: Try not to discuss her past relationship more than necessary, since that seems to friend-trap guys real fast.
Author mr.applesauce Posted June 23, 2005 Author Posted June 23, 2005 I am really comfortable with her we act like a couple when we do go on dates...but it's awkward now I haven't seen her in a week but I don't think it will be the same after the phone conversation we had.
Artscrafter Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 Hmm. How much do you know about this old relationship of hers. When you say she was hurt by it, does that mean that the guy was bad to her while in the relationship or is she still shaken over the breakup? Cause if it's the latter, you'll just have to give it time. The next time you see her, tell her that you understand if she doesn't want to get into another relationship right now, but that you still just want to be there for her, and that she can do with that what she will. Something like that so you don't lose ground on this. If you're patient and you stay where you are with her without dropping into the friend zone (alas, this isn't my area of expertise) then you'll be first on her mind when she's ready to have a boyfriend again.
froggytroat Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 Ignore the old relationship. If you've been going out for 2.5 months, you should be sleeping with her. That would be my watermark.
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