highroller30 Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 Hey guys, I recently went out with a girl i met on tinder. Online we really hit it off but it took me a month to finally meet her in person. We found out we have a crazy lot of common interests, hobbies, views on different matter and even personality traits and she is totally my type physically (I am attracted to her). I asked her out for a drink but looking back on it i felt it didn't do our personalities justice. It was my very first date (21 year old male) and her second (20 year old female) and i sensed we were both kind off uneased by the setting. The structured environment of having to make conversation with a stranger for quiet a time is unnatural and maybe even nerve-wracking for those who are not skilled daters (yet). I sensed she was quiet shy and perhaps a little bit nervous too as she didn't want to look at her train schedule yet the day before because she'd get nervous of it (joke or no joke, i don't know). I was also a bit nervous, yet i felt happy and comfortable in her presence. When we sat down she also caught me by surprise by asking me directly: what is your personality like, why would i hire you if i were a job interviewer? Not a great date question haha and I couldn't properly answer that that quick. Although I did really enjoy our 3 hour conversation there wasn't really a spark and I think because of we weren't skilled daters we kinda forgot to dive deeper into the conversation and build a connection, there was a bit too much small talk. I sensed we could click in the future but we haven't yet now... Should I ask her out again and perhaps a more fun based activity date will build up that connection or should I focus my attention on girls I feel instant chemistry with? The glass is either half empty or half full in this situation... Thanks in advance!
gimlynick Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 Hey, It's normal that you're a little bit shy in the beginning of your dating life. Don't worry. If you like her, text her or call her! If you both are sportive people you can choose for a more sportive second date. Go to a sports event, go doing a dance class, go for a jog,... Good luck
d0nnivain Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 Yes you should ask her out again. You both need the practice dating. Even if she's not the one, at least you will be more at ease with the next woman you ask out. 1
Papiyon Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 I say ask her out again. I read somewhere (I can’t remember where) that you can fully gauge who the person is and if you’re truly attracted to them (physically & mentally). Being that you’re a novice dater this could serve as practice to see how you interact with different personalities and in different settings. This is a win-win situation. Have fun and enjoy the process of getting to know yourself and others. Blessings on your dating journey.
SilverAccount Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Maybe it takes her time to open up, go for another date i say.
Author highroller30 Posted May 24, 2016 Author Posted May 24, 2016 Yeah I think we should hang out some more. I have two questions though. 1. Does the environment/setting could have a great influence on chemistry? I recon if we would engage in an activity there's more place for banter, touching and less stress... 2. Has anyone experienced the difficulty to bridge online chemistry to the real world or should that be instant? I think we can potentially hit it off but this may take a few more dates.
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