connormo Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 So my current situation is that I'm living on residence, meeting a bunch of new people. This girl apparently likes me and I was initially interested, yet tonight while socializing/drinking she said she kissed a dozen guys in a single night. Now I'm instantly turned off from her. Is that weird of me? I'm more into innocent quiet girls (I think; personally, I haven't found my type since I've been single forever lol) Any opinions? Should I give it a shot? Honestly I feel like I only like girls who I have a connection with and similar sexual experiences. It can be intimidating if a girl is like that but at the same time I don't like the 'easyness' of those girls. It's honestly hard to explain lol
Buddhist Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 Lets put it another way if a guy I liked went around kissing a dozen other people in the same night at a party I'd be turned off too. It's got nothing to do with promiscuity and everything to do with, we aren't going to be a match. I'll know from this type of behaviour that we are looking at a YOLO type of person which isn't compatible with me. Do I want a partner who needs constant social stimulation and gets around at parties being physical with everyone? Not really no. Nothing wrong with that, IMHO. Why give someone a go when you know the likelihood of you having anything in common in basically zero?
Emilia Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 I think it is completely normal to be turnoff by someone who needs this much validation or who isn't the slightest bit picky. If you are looking for a relationship, ideally it tends to be with someone who thinks you are special. I think that's a reasonable way to feel. If a girl kisses a dozen guys in one night, how do you know whether she feels that you are special in any way at all? 1
seamos Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 I don't suppose there's much sense in me throwing my .2 cents in, esp. since it just repeats what others have told you, but... So she likes you, but she also likes a dozen other guys that were there that night. She likes you all the same because if she liked you more than the other 12 she wouldn't have told you about kissing them. So, in my opinion, if you are interested in her for any possible relationship then you're making a mistake. If you're interested in her for sex or possibly a casual friendship then you might be making a mistake but at least the possibility is there. Wow... that's kind of a strange thing to be telling people, that she had kissed a dozen guys that night!!
elaine567 Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 Did she do it as part of a game, a dare maybe? That is a lot different scenario, than just going about kissing 12 different guys at a party. 12 kisses on the cheek is a lot different from making out with them too. More info needed, before we can all sit and damn her to Hell... 2
PegNosePete Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 The fact that she told you about it, like it was some kind of achievement or something to be proud of, would be more of a turn off to me than the actual act of doing it. Although I suppose context is everything. I kissed half a dozen women at my uncle's funeral last week (most of them relatives). 1
Tribble Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 No matter what turns you off, it's normal. Everyone is different and has different things that turn them on and off. As others have indicated, they would be turned off too so it's hardly unusual. But really, are you only asking if you should give it a shot because she likes you? You don't seem to like her. If you're only wanting to go there because she likes you and you want a bit of experience, it hardly seems fair.
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 Did she do it as part of a game, a dare maybe? That is a lot different scenario, than just going about kissing 12 different guys at a party. 12 kisses on the cheek is a lot different from making out with them too. More info needed, before we can all sit and damn her to Hell... Why? Did you do it as part of a dare/game?
elaine567 Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 Why? Did you do it as part of a dare/game? Not me personally, but people do things like that all the time, it is called being young and carefree.
d0nnivain Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 She was having fun. It's not your idea of fun & never will be. Her choice is something that will always eat & you & it will prevent you from building a healthy foundation with her. So, no you should not date her. You two are fundamentally incompatible. Don't even try this because it won't work.
Author connormo Posted May 24, 2016 Author Posted May 24, 2016 Oh wow more responses than I expected lol. Okay so to answer some questions.. Initially I WAS attracted to her and she seemed like a cool chick, into me because apparently she saw me changing one day Either way yes it was a drinking game and once I heard that I was instantly turned off from her lol. I don't like to get involved with 'Promiscuous' people, just ain't my thing. Unfortunately where I'm living promiscuity is huge and I feel like I really don't fit in.i kinda digged the girl across the hall but I also found out that last night my buddy/roommate made out with her (although he's made out with many of the chicks on the floor).. Another weird thing is that once my friend makes out with them, I also don't find them attractive anymore (mainly because he is what people refer to as a 'fu**boy'.) I guess it's a good way to weed out who I may actually like because I believe in taking things slow and old fashioned.. Sometimes I don't even kiss on a first date! Again, is this weird? Thanks for the input people. Feeling kinda isolated in this lifestyle since I don't fit in much with it. Maybe I was born in the wrong decade but I just hope there's still girls with actual values out there (but hey, do what makes you happy I guess). 1
Emilia Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Your sense of isolation will end once you are out in the big wide world, out of that environment. Not to be patronising but at your age, fitting in with the crowd is huge, it's partly why that girl was doing what she did. I bet there are quite a few that feel the way you do but they hide it because they don't want to be perceived as boring or lame or whatever the current adjective is. It's only when you get a bit older, gain more life experience and appreciation for differences in views that you realise how much people pretend. Generally speaking, it's smart to march to your own drums, that way you rely far less on external validation and you aren't at the mercy of fads and societal pressures.
Laprus9 Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Some may call you picky and judgemental but as long as you aren't being a hypocrite it's cool. I'm a virgin and I have to say the thought of going near a promiscuous woman makes my skin crawl, not because she has done anything wrong, she has no reason to be ashamed and I have no right to cast stones but because the sharp rise in people walking around with sexually transmitted infections. It's funny a lot of people fear pregnancy when it comes to sex, but that's not a concern for me, it's being infected with herpes, HPV or even worse HIV, that frightens the life out of me and people say "well wear a condom, it's protection", well yes it is but it's not full proof. You can still get genital herpes with a condom on. Nothing is full proof ever. Also as a monogamous man, I don't believe promiscuous women are and can be monogamous, I think they believe they can lead a polygamous lifestyle and then switch to a monogamous lifestyle, I think those women are being lying to themselves. There's nothing wrong with promiscuity or leading a polygamous, there's everything wrong with being dishonest to yourself and others. 1
Author connormo Posted May 24, 2016 Author Posted May 24, 2016 Your sense of isolation will end once you are out in the big wide world, out of that environment. Not to be patronising but at your age, fitting in with the crowd is huge, it's partly why that girl was doing what she did. I bet there are quite a few that feel the way you do but they hide it because they don't want to be perceived as boring or lame or whatever the current adjective is. It's only when you get a bit older, gain more life experience and appreciation for differences in views that you realise how much people pretend. Generally speaking, it's smart to march to your own drums, that way you rely far less on external validation and you aren't at the mercy of fads and societal pressures. Very good point. Gotta live my life with my OWN values and morals in mind, makes sense! 1
Author connormo Posted May 24, 2016 Author Posted May 24, 2016 Some may call you picky and judgemental but as long as you aren't being a hypocrite it's cool. I'm a virgin and I have to say the thought of going near a promiscuous woman makes my skin crawl, not because she has done anything wrong, she has no reason to be ashamed and I have no right to cast stones but because the sharp rise in people walking around with sexually transmitted infections. It's funny a lot of people fear pregnancy when it comes to sex, but that's not a concern for me, it's being infected with herpes, HPV or even worse HIV, that frightens the life out of me and people say "well wear a condom, it's protection", well yes it is but it's not full proof. You can still get genital herpes with a condom on. Nothing is full proof ever. Also as a monogamous man, I don't believe promiscuous women are and can be monogamous, I think they believe they can lead a polygamous lifestyle and then switch to a monogamous lifestyle, I think those women are being lying to themselves. There's nothing wrong with promiscuity or leading a polygamous, there's everything wrong with being dishonest to yourself and others. Lmfao man I hear that! ****in STDs terrify me. Yet I know people who will sleep around wearing no protection at all (wtf!?) Knowing my luck if I were to hookup and do that, I'd contract every disease in the book and even find some new ones! ..good thing I'm not big on hookups and I ALWAYS practice safe sex! It's fun as long as you do it safe man
SilverAccount Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 She's a free woman, she can do what she wants. This doesn't mean in a relationship she will do this, maybe she's just having a good time, if you can't deal with it then she's not the girl for you, simple.
Author connormo Posted June 13, 2016 Author Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) So I've known this girl and been texting her for over half a year now.. We've slept together but unfortunately now I'm across the country :/ (for now) Either way I tried to make it clear to get that I'm a very monogamous person, that I like her, and that I rarely deal with promiscuous people, and if someone doesn't have a '[] yes' attitude towards me, then they can get out of my life (why waste time on people who aren't interested?) Because of this she thinks I ditch people, when its only happened on rare occasion. Continuing on, she's said some pretty promiscuous things and I've just asked her how many guys she's slept with (because I want to know if she has similar morals as myself). Is this too forward? Or is it a good idea to see if a) she trusts me enough to tell me or b) we have different morals? She seems like a classy chick which is great, but some things she says contradicts this so I asked the question. I know I shouldn't judge a person harshly on that but it kind of is a big deal to me, even if I really like a person. Edited June 13, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs added 1
Satu Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 Strictly speaking, its none of your business. She might choose to tell you, or she might choose not to. Either way, she is within her rights. You however, have no right to insist that she tells you, if she doesn't want to. Ask about this if you want to, but remember that she doesn't have to tell you anything. A persons past belongs to them. Privacy is a right we all have, and one which should be respected. Take care. 2
Author connormo Posted June 13, 2016 Author Posted June 13, 2016 Also she seems like the kind of girl who is kind of awkward and innocent. She said I'm the first person she's ever sent a dirty text to lol. And I told her she doesn't have to tell me if she doesn't want to, of course I respected those boundaries. But I still would like to know (I think) 1
SammySammy Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 Pick a number between 0 and 1000. Any number. I'm going to let you in on a secret: There are women at every number who will be faithful. There are women at every number who will be unfaithful. There is no magic in "the number". There's no cut off point between "good girl" and "bad girl". So, it doesn't matter if she says 1, 13, 57 or 349 the number doesn't determine whether she'll be faithful to you or not. That's determined by many other factors. Don't get mislead by "the number". 5
carhill Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 FWIW, monogamous people can have a lot of sexual partners whom they're monogamous with when in sexual relationships. IMO, focus more on relationship ideals matching up and make sure the STD's are clear and let the sex stuff flow as it flows. Lastly, people can change throughout life, especially in the formative years up to the mid-late 20's, so a disclosure of history is just that, history. It's good information to be balanced with the here and now. Since you already asked her how many men she's had sex with, that's out there. You can't take it back. Accept the answer and move forward. 2
smackie9 Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 I agree it's none of your business and you are being judgemental. The above post speaks for itself. 4
nordic Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) I agree it's none of your business and you are being judgemental. The above post speaks for itself. [] of course its his business. women are obsessed with mens social status and do their best to smoke men out if they try and enhance it by lying. men have similar emotions around a womans sexual history, and have similar reactions to women lying about it, or being flaky about the subject. Edited June 13, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude ~6
I Just Wanna b Happy Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 A woman will always lie about how many men she has been with. She will divide her actual number by 3,4 or five and then give you that number. Just except the fact that you will never know.
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