freebird31 Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 (edited) It has been 3 years since breakup. He reached out to apologize recently for how he treated me. And that was that. Lately, I have been feeling indifferent. Up until his posts started showing up my newsfeed now on social media. We are not friends on social media but we have mutual friends that share his posts which are public. I would liek to block him. Because it makes me feel bad/low/sad when I see his life, when I see him still for some reason, even after all this time. I think that he would know that I am blocking him, and think that I am maybe not over him. My question is do you think it is okay that I block him...? I am embarassed for him to find out that I blocked him. But I hate to see what is going on his life. I guess it does still hurt. I never had him blocked before because his profile was private and I never had this problem. Up until recently, he has shared a lot of posts publicly. And a lot of his friends, who are my friends will share his videos and what not. Edited May 22, 2016 by freebird31 1
Zahara Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 Yes, block him. It's best to prioritize and invest in your wellbeing rather than worry about what someone thinks of you, especially someone that treated you badly. It's called self-preservation. Empower yourself. 3
Scorpio Chick Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 I'm sorry you're feeling low. IMO, yes, yes and yes. Block him. It is a tool we have to HELP us, so use it, which goes against the grain of what you feel or want to do. He will possibly find out you blocked him. If you have reasoned it is best for him to be completely out of your life and for forever, then block him on social media. I know there's a level of embarrassment with that because it shows you have feelings, but it is okay you have feelings. And so what if he thinks, 'huh, she blocked me, gee, she must REALLLLLLY like me'. Really, blocking him will be about YOU, not him. He can have that thought because you are now going to work on keeping him off your radar for good. I speak from experience too because I just blocked a guy for the 3rd and final time. And I worried like you did too about it revealing my level of care. That he doesn't have the same level of care, or any care about me, cannot matter anymore to me if I am being sincere in my desire to remove him from my life. Remove him like an infected mole on a big, hairy, ugly toe. Good luck, sweetie. 2
Satu Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 Yes, block him. You don't need anymore upset, however slight in comparison to the past. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means he might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of him on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying. Take care. 1
Author freebird31 Posted May 22, 2016 Author Posted May 22, 2016 I blocked him. Last night, his friend shared this powerful speech he gave in a video. And i knew better than to click it. But I thought, eh what the hell, and i watched it. After, watching it, seeing the audience laugh at him, seeing all the comments mose likely boosting his confidence. And all the nice things they said to him made me feel so sick, low, sad, so so sad. Not to mention, this was the first time actually seeing him and hearing his voice in 3 years. It made me feel so awful. I immediately went to the gym after and I had to lift some weights LOL because I had to find a way to get out the bad feeling out of my system. Then I went home and cried. I thought I was indifferent, but that put me to the test. I guess I will always have some kind of feelings there. But he is blocked. I do much better when I forget he existed. 2
Zahara Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 You'll always have some level of emotion but there's going to come a time when it won't painfully affect you. You did the right thing for yourself. That is all that matters. 1
Author freebird31 Posted May 22, 2016 Author Posted May 22, 2016 You'll always have some level of emotion but there's going to come a time when it won't painfully affect you. You did the right thing for yourself. That is all that matters. Do you think that it comes in waves in life? Because there are times in the past when I was distracted, confident, and moving on and was indifferent towards the situation because I was in a good place. But now, I am at a place in life where I am figuring out where I want to go from here, stuck in the hometown where he and I both grew up in, while he moved away a few years ago after we broke up. I wouldnt say I am in a rut, but it will take a while, more schooling, longer hours, and a few more years living in my hometown before I can move forward to the next stepping stone in my life. I just feel in a drag. I know everything will pay off, in time. After watching that video, it seems like he is in a really good, happy place in his life right now far away from home. Maybe when I feel more accomplished in the near future, I wont feel so sad to see him happy. ? It just made me feel so low. And ashamed to stay here in this city. Not to mention, theres memories everywhere here in this city. 1
Satu Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 I really like and admire your self-awareness. You'll do well in life. 1
preraph Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 The goal is not to give a crap how he interprets it. I think most men would interpret blocking as "sick of you, don't call me again." 2
Author freebird31 Posted May 23, 2016 Author Posted May 23, 2016 I really like and admire your self-awareness. You'll do well in life. Thank you 1
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