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Seeing ex fiancé after I left him for another man. ?

JaimeNY

By JaimeNY
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kgcolonel Established Member

kgcolonel

Posted
Posted

Early on you asked for us to "not shame" you as you felt plenty of shame as it is....that doesn't appear to be the case here. You should "not ask or suggest your current BF stay home" but insist for two reasons. First, this is about your friends wedding and as you describe it, your current choice is a hothead and possessive and will likely cause a problem. Secondly, you DID wrong with your ex, the very least you can do is show him the respect and what remorse you can muster and leave the a@@@@@e BF home....

 

Show some remorse and shame in what you did to a guy that in your words, didn't deserve what you did to him. Show some class. Show your friend some respect and avoid anything that might distract from her big day.

Davey McG Established Member

Davey McG

Posted
Posted

The ex will not want to stay at home. Why?

 

Because how she gets with you is how she'll end it with you.

 

If I had got together with a woman through her cheating on her partner, there is no way I'd trust her.

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted (edited)
The ex will not want to stay at home. Why?

 

Because how she gets with you is how she'll end it with you.

 

If I had got together with a woman through her cheating on her partner, there is no way I'd trust her.

 

Davey, it is the current fiance who doesn't want to stay home, not her ex.

 

That said, I agree, her current doesn't trust her.

 

And that distrust will always be there lurking, eating at him.

 

OP, wondering why did you even tell us he was *hot-headed"? Does that turn you on? You proud of that?

 

You said he doesn't want to leave you alone with your ex.

 

I hope to god you're not thinking "oh he is so protective, he loves me so much."

 

Take it from me as I have been through it, no no no!

 

That is not being protective, that is him being possessive and controlling because he doesn't trust YOU.

 

And while you both may be in the throes of passion right now, once you are married, that possessiveness, control and distrust will get worse, much worse.

 

I hate to speculate but often times hot-headed men who display this sort of possessiveness and control early on become emotionally abusive later, once the passion and honeymoon period ends and you're "his."

 

Please think about this.

 

And although Lois Griffin's post was a bit harsh, she was 100% right on.

 

Best of luck.....

Edited by katiegrl
  • Like 1
Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted

Take your new beau. Tell him not to drink and to be civil.

 

Be civil to your ex and don't rub it in his face.

 

Its called behaving with dignity and grace. You and your new beau need to do that. Stay away from the booze.

 

If ex gets out of hand just move on to a different part of the room/ venue.

 

If new beau gets out of hand just move to a different part of the room/ venue.

 

Your new beau needs to understand that this is your friends day - its about her not your love life and he needs to behave.

 

Personally I do not agree with leaving him behind. As your partner he should be there.

  • Like 1
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JaimeNY New Member

JaimeNY

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Take your new beau. Tell him not to drink and to be civil.

 

Be civil to your ex and don't rub it in his face.

 

Its called behaving with dignity and grace. You and your new beau need to do that. Stay away from the booze.

 

If ex gets out of hand just move on to a different part of the room/ venue.

 

If new beau gets out of hand just move to a different part of the room/ venue.

 

Your new beau needs to understand that this is your friends day - its about her not your love life and he needs to behave.

 

Personally I do not agree with leaving him behind. As your partner he should be there.

 

Thank you. I also agree:)

Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted
Thank you. I also agree:)

 

You do need to have serious words though. The pair of you MUST treat your ex with dignity and respect. If not for him for your friend. Your new beau must NOT ruin her wedding. He needs to understand that.

 

You both need to take responsibility for your actions and treat your ex with some civility.

  • Like 1
kidm Established Member

kidm

Posted
Posted

Choices have already been made. The harm has already been done. All parties involved are adults and should act as such. I don't think OP should have to attend the wedding without her fiance'. I would hope none of the people involved would want to ruin someone's special day and would stay clear of each other if there is friction. There is no reason why exes cannot act in a civilized manner at a mutual friend's wedding irrespective of how the breakup occurred.

 

OP if you believe your fiance' is predisposed to starting drama, have a talk with him and make sure he will be on his best behavior. If he disrespects you and starts drama at the wedding, I would seriously reconsider marrying him. Also please stay clear of your ex. Don't approach him and try to exchange any pleasantries. Stay clear unless he approaches you and then be cordial and move along. You are the common denominator in this so you should do your best to minimize any drama that could happen, of course you can't control your ex or your fiance's actions but you can definitely let your fiance' know your expectations about his conduct at the wedding. Hope you all have fun at the wedding!

introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

Posted
Posted

What am I missing here? Why would your current fiance have any reason to become "hot headed" at the wedding? He is not the one who was wronged. Why would he do anything other than escort you in a gentlemanly fashion?

 

Honestly, if you think you and/or your fiance is going to start trouble, you should probably just stay home.

  • Like 3
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

All of this is probably a lot to do about nothing. The ex probably doesn't give a damn anymore because he's so disgusted and has moved on. I'm also confused why your fiance would start trouble with your ex. Your ex has done nothing. Take your fiance to the wedding, have fun and do as your ex will do which is ignore you.

Heracles Member

Heracles

Posted
Posted

Murphy's Law

 

OP already knows what is going to happen and she is secretly delighted at the idea

 

I am waiting for the update when she tells us all about the fight and drama that took place:laugh:

kgcolonel Established Member

kgcolonel

Posted
Posted
Murphy's Law

 

OP already knows what is going to happen and she is secretly delighted at the idea

 

I am waiting for the update when she tells us all about the fight and drama that took place:laugh:

 

Kind of thinking that myself....she intentionally cheated on her ex....broke his heart (now hasn't done him enough damage so......I know, I'll bring the sl**ball I cheated with who btw is also prone to rage to a wedding that the ex is going to attend) and rub his nose in the s**t. Oh, no need to demand that the sl**ball stay home....can't have any drama if he's not there.

 

No remorse no dignity no class....not even for her friends wedding day....self absorbed. The ex dodged a bullet.

 

Maybe I am too harsh, if so, please accept my apology.

  • Like 2
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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