DesertHeat Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 I recently finish going through a long, nasty, contentious divorce with my XH. He was abusive, and resorted to stalking behaviors and spreading rumors about me once I filed. He was putting my friends and family in the middle when I really just wanted to settle things quickly and quietly. When I felt like things were getting out of hand, I told my friends and family that I was taking a hiatus from social media and just being social in general until my divorce was finalized and to respect my privacy. Since the divorce, I've been slowing reintegrating myself back socially again, restarting my social media and calling and texting folks as well. Everyone so far has responded in one way or another, but one friend, who was part of my "inner circle" prior to the divorce, hasn't respond to my Facebook message. It's been a month since I wrote something to him. It shows that he read the message and he has since posted and liked mutual friends' stuff. I don't have his current phone number, so I couldn't text him or call him to confirm if he has received my message. I don't want to seem stalkerish, and I'm okay if he doesn't actually want to talk to me, but I don't know what the etiquette would be in this situation. Should I send him another message or comment on his wall or something? Or just let it go?
Art_Critic Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 it shows he already read it and chose to not respond so sending another or posting on his wall would be a bit over the top.. Me.. I'd unfriend him.. done... I recently unfriended a teenage childhood friend who didn't reply to a message that he should have replied to, it had been a while since he and I talked but the last thing I have time for is FB DRAMA.. just unfriend him and move on rebuilding things..
anika99 Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 If you consider him part of your inner circle, then how about you pick up that thing called a phone and call him? Maybe he just isn't interested in communicating with people through Facebook. 1
jen1447 Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 ^ She doesn't have his number. I'd give him one more nudge on FB and ask if he got your message. His response will make it clear - if he says nothing, then you know he doesn't want to talk and you don't need to speculate on a one-off, and if he does reply then fine. 3
preraph Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 What I would do if I were you is block your ex from social media, plus anyone who has aligned with him so they can't be feeding him your information and keeping him stirred up. That means this guy.
angel.eyes Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 Is he really part of your inner circle if your only means of contacting him is via Facebook message? No phone number? Not even an email address? He read your message, so either he responded and it's lost (highly unlikely) or he's elected to ignore it by not responding. If your only means of contacting him was via Facebook, you weren't really close to begin with. If he's ignoring your messages now, then he no longer wants to communicate with you. So, you're no longer friends. Accept that and let it go. Stuff happens. People change.
elaine567 Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 He may also be taking a bit of a breather from fb drama, so don't worry about it, he may resurface again later.
Author DesertHeat Posted May 22, 2016 Author Posted May 22, 2016 Thanks guys! Sorry, I don't know how to quote on here, but preraph, I did block ex and his family and friends, especially the ones that participated with the information feeding. But ex doesn't know all of my friends, especially the ones from college, so this friend doesn't know him and vice versa. I've been messaging everyone personally from my friends and family that I wanted to continue to contact because I'm still not active on social media, like I don't post anything and I barely like/comment on anyone's post, and I'm off of chat, so it wouldn't be apparent that my dormant page is active again. I broke my cell phone during my hiatus, and it was a "dumb" phone without synced contacts, so social media is the only way I can contact most people I know these days. I will probably try one more time (his birthday is this week) and leave it alone.
emerald86 Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 I'm not really a social media person, and so when someone sends me a facebook message, I have every intention of responding at some point, but I'll just forget to. Life gets busy, and I'll forget to log into facebook. In situations like these, people have messaged me more than once, and that was a helpful reminder that I should probably reply to their message lol. So no, I don't think it would hurt to send him one more message, but I'd say wait a while before you do that. And if he doesn't respond to that second message, I would let it go.
basil67 Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 It's possible that you're reading more into it than actually exists. I'm the first to admit that I can be bad at responding to messages. Sometimes I'm busy and think "I'll respond to that later". And then later comes and I've forgotten. And then it all gets away from me. 1
angel.eyes Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 If he wasn't a "shared" friend with your ex, then yes. There's no harm in sending him a second message.
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