Alamo657 Posted May 21, 2016 Posted May 21, 2016 Well after 8 months of NC it finally happened, i saw her from afar with a new guy. And i feel terribly sad. My mind managed to accept she was a liar, a cheat, unfaitful person, only looking after herself and that i'm better off not having to look over my shoulder constantly and second guess everything she says. But it seems my emotions have no caught up yet. Probably because i didn't find anyone new in the meantime. This is so unfair, i feel like dying right now. Just venting, have a good night 2
Satu Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 The way you feel has nothing to do with you not having found somebody else. Its good that you haven't found somebody else. You're not ready for that yet. Keep focussing on yourself. Keep working through your feelings. It's absolutely normal and to expected that seeing her with someone else is upsetting for you. You've reached the anger stage of the grieving process. You're healing. Take care. 2
FTM042014 Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 Oh man I'm so so sorry! It is absolutely devastating to see that. Just know that people who have absolutely moved on report being shell shocked upon seeing their ex with someone else for the first time. It can pull you right back to the pain. I'm guessing that you will find you bounce back faster this time though. Give yourself the time to grieve over this. It's natural. You'd have to be a stone cold mother to not feel this. It's almost good to see it I think. Now you know. It sucked but you didn't die. And really nothing is different today than it was the moment before you saw them. It's not a race against your ex to find someone new. If anything I tend to think the person that gets into a new relationship within a year of breaking up is worse off. They don't give themselves time to be alone and process. Time to work on you! 4
bummer Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 I know I too will be devastated sometime here shortly when I chance a bit of news of my ex's whereabouts. Stay strong and be patient. At least now you are sure she's over you. 2
Hoosfoos Posted May 22, 2016 Posted May 22, 2016 Sorry that this has happened. I know that it is incredibly painful.
preraph Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 Try to remember you chose her and don't just demonize her to make yourself feel good. You need to find out what drew you to her and figure out what signs you missed or how you might have dropped the ball yourself -- or if it's a simple case of getting to know someone and then both realizing you weren't really right for each other, which is honestly usually the simple truth, try to not carry that around as bitterness and jeopardize future relationships.
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