On and off between 2 guys???

[Tonice]

First please excuse my grammar and spelling.

 

Back in October of 2015. Started dating a nice woman with a 4 year old son. Very nice woman seemed to be hurt in the past. We stayed up talking for hours and hours. But first weekend she was at my house I was making us dinner and she got a phone call from her EX ( of about a year)she was on the phone over 45 minutes. Crying most of the conversation. I heard some of it [] when she got off I hugged her and said everything will be ok but you should not give him the time of day. That's when I was told more how he was a ( manipulative, content not trying to better himself, all about sex, have to check his phone and computer).

 

Well he contacted her again when I was at her house saying I hope he can get you off in bed and to this that and this to you. I told he all you two had was sex seems like nother else.

 

Later on that month I stayed over night on a Thursday night. And he was knocking on her window at 1:30am wanting her back. (Ended up getting a trespassing ticket). After that she did not feel safe. And she wanted to move in with me. I thought it was to soon but being nice I said yes. So right before thanksgiving she did. We painted the house and new carpet to make it feel more like ours than mine and my ex wife's. Things seemed to be going good he seemed to be out of the picture. Than it seemed like every little thing caused a fight. Long and short she moved out December 17-20 to find she was back with him. But blamed me and made him sound like a god.

 

Now keep in mind he makes little money. ( she makes 75k a year)

Lives in a trailer ( nothing wrong with that but it's a run down junk box) can't pay for anything ( she pays for it all). She owns a house she can't live in because all the bad memories of him. He friends can't stand him her family can't stand him. Almost lost her job because of him. He has forced sex on her.

 

Now a month or so later I send her flowers to her work. All her co workers know they are from me because no one but me ever gave her flowers. So we talked and decided to work on is. She left him and it was like we never missed a beat. Her friends sent me messages thanking me for not giving up on her and hope we last because I'm the best man she has ever had.

 

So she's in a apartment no because she rented her house out. And 3-4 weeks later she wants to move in. Again I said ok. Things are going great we go on weekend get aways when she don't have her son. ( that I treat like mine). I gave her a promise ring. Than we get engaged ( she wanted it more but I was ok with it). Planned some nice trips for the summer. Talked about building a new house put our money together ect building a life together.

 

Well one day In the beginning of April I had a feeling that she was by her ex so I drive to the trailer park and I see her car in the drive. I texted her a picture and said I'm done. I got every excuse why she was there. Long and short we talked the next day and said let's stay together.

 

That Monday I get the text. I love you him and I can never be together his life is unmanageable and I don't need him or want a relationship with him.

 

Well a week goes by and she moves out again says she feels trapped ect ect

Than I get a text on how I'm in to my money house cats fancy things and being the best at what I try. ( I said your back with your ex). He puts anyone that works hard down

 

 

Turned out I was right. She is back with him. She can't tell her friends her best one found out from me. I told her friend all they have is sex nothing else. Won't last long she will be back. And her friend don't understand why she is doing this.

 

Now her it is a moth later she still has friends that thought we were still together.

 

 

I maybe wrong but when things go bad again I will get a call or text. She is a great woman till he gets in her head than she leaves and goes to him. I don't think it's over for us but I can't do this again. And I think she needs to start thinking about her son. ( if I was the dad we be in court already being she moved 7 times from July 2014 till now)

 

If this guy was a nice guy or worth something I would be ok with it. But if you have to hide it and your friends and family dislike him it's not good.

Edited May 21, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language violations ~6

[NoLeafClover]

You keep finding excuses why you been taking her back by putting the other guy down. The other guy has nothing to do with you...you have to deal with her, actually not deal with her ANYMORE. Stop taking her back have some dignity for yourself.

 

Are you that desperate to be with a cheater . I'd rather stay single and date around then put my whinner in someone else is at the same time without you knowing.

I really don't know how you men and women get over being cheated on multiple times and take your ex's back like nothing happened.

[spiderowl]

The woman is hooked on her ex, no matter how awful he is. She is going to stay that way until she sees sense, which could be a long way down the line if at all. The fact that she's willing to put her son through all this says a lot about what kind of person she is.

 

Because you obviously care a lot about her, she is likely to go between the two of you as long as you will put up with it. I think you are right in saying you can't do this. Can you stick to it and keep away from her?

[LD1990]

She is a great woman till he gets in her head than she leaves and goes to him.

 

No, she's not. I always love when people say "He's/she's a great person, besides..." and then try to hand wave away some major flaws. What makes this woman so great? She's a grown woman with a son who cheats and moves in with guys on a whim. She sounds more like a selfish, emotionally immature diva to me than a "great woman."

 

Tonice, you're getting treated like a sucker. She's not some innocent little angel who needs to be rescued. This is the classic bad boy/nice guy scenario. Her ex treats her poorly (although you can never believe much of what someone says about their ex so who knows if he's as bad as you think he is), she's attracted to him because he's not a pushover, so she keeps banging him. You're the opposite - nice guy, total pushover with her, she's not that into you but when she wants a taste of the good life, she moves in with you for flowers and whatnot.

 

This woman is toxic, she's going to make your life a living hell with the constant drama. Man up and stop playing her games.

[Tonice]

Don't get me wrong she's not coming back to me. I just know it's a matter of time when she tries to bounce back and it will be a fast pass back to him I'm no doing this anymore.