carmat3 Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 I met this woman at my best friends wedding. She made it clear that she wanted to talk to me, and even asked me for a ride to her car after the party. She told me she was going to be out of town for a few days. I called after a few days and she called back. We talked at least a couple of times before we got together the first time. We had a good first date, and she told me that she had broken up with her ex after 4 yrs. together. She also told me that she wasnt dating anyone else and we ended up making out at the end of the date.. She said she was going to call me back in a few days. 4 or 5 days went by and no call, so I decided to call her, she was nice and said she would call me back on saturday to confirm that we would meet on sunday. All that happened and the date went really well. She has a great personallity and she is extremely pretty. She also has a silver tonge and knows what to say.. she makes more money than me, around 80 thousand I would say, im only going to make low 60's this year.. Anyways at the end of the date she reasured me that she was very attracted to me and that she like me alot and was not seeing anybody else. Three days later I sent her some flowers to thank her for the great date and for being sneaky and paying for the lunch we had, when I went to bathroom. She called me that night, and sounded very happy that I sent her the flowers. We talked briefly and said goodbye, since her friend from Australia had just arrived. she called me two days later, and left a message. I called back and found out she was on her way out with her friend, I told her that she knew what my days off were and to call me so we can do something.. 4 1/2 days went by and no call, so I decided to call her. She told me that her mom had bought her a ticked with her miles, in order for her to take a red eye on friday. She said that she had tought about me and touhgt about calling me but was going to wait till she got back. Originally she had plans to go back east, and I knew about them about a week before, but later told me that she had to cancel, so I found it kind of strange. She does have a stressful job, and I know going back east to see her family is relaxing for her, so I can see how mom would be willing to bring her home... I asked her if everything was good and she said yes, you have been a perfect gentleman and that was nothing wrong. She also mention something about her breakup and that she had been thinking about things, but she cut it off, and said "I will be back in the middle of next week, will talk later during the week... I said ok, just try to enjoy your time and relax.. I remeber thinking that she sounded a little stressed when I was talking to her, not the same joy in her voice like the previous times we had talked.. That was last monday, and it's now 8 days later. I havent heard from her.. What should I do???
Swamp Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 Wow, that was a read. Ok, I think you may have come on a little too strong. You are a little too available for her. You are sending flowers and gifts a little too early. You are talking about you guys as a potential couple a little too early. She just got out of a long relationship, you know, so she needs a lot of space and time to do as she pleases. Your best bet is to not call again. Seriously, that will probably be the reason she ends up calling you. Give her time to remember that she hasn't talked to you, because as of now she doesn't seem to mind, which could be a bad thing. I am guessing she detected pressure, or a little overexcitement on your part. Slow down, be patient, act only friendly to her, be strong and demand respect. Don't discuss you guys or how you feel about eachother. For now, give her some time, she'll call in due time. She is probably somewhat testing you right now, to see if you are going to freak out on her. Go at her pace. You'll be fine.
Author carmat3 Posted June 23, 2005 Author Posted June 23, 2005 So just play it cool, and wait to see if she calls. She is definetly what you guys would call and alphafemale. I' ve dated a couple in the past, and they are fun for a while. They usually have a good balance of looks and personality. Except their aggressive attitude and bitchiness get in the way. I was not rushing at all and have not talked about us as a couple but I can see how see might have felt pressure, since she only broke up with this guy 6 weeks ago.. Im spoiled in a way most women don't seem to give me this much of a hard time. I really wanted to get things going, because I broke up with my ex 6 months ago(who I still miss, and wish I could marry.) and was exceptionally beautiful. I still talk to my ex even though she is back home in Sweden now, we still call our selves cute names over the phone. I cant believe it even though Ive dated many women, I still have these feeling that make me feel like a kid, and be confused and indecisive.
Author carmat3 Posted June 23, 2005 Author Posted June 23, 2005 I will update you if she calls, of if she doesnt.. Lets hope she does..
Swamp Posted June 24, 2005 Posted June 24, 2005 You do know that any alphafemale can be tamed by a stronger alphamale, right? You COULD marry the girl you exchange sweet names with. Put some toughness into your skin. Get a backbone. Be uninterested in speaking to her. BE MYSTERIOUS. People and their inability to keep someone attracted make me crazy. Less is MORE. More is LESS.
Author carmat3 Posted June 24, 2005 Author Posted June 24, 2005 Originally posted by Swamp You do know that any alphafemale can be tamed by a stronger alphamale, right? You COULD marry the girl you exchange sweet names with. Put some toughness into your skin. Get a backbone. Be uninterested in speaking to her. BE MYSTERIOUS. People and their inability to keep someone attracted make me crazy. Less is MORE. More is LESS. 1. The woman in sweden, is the one I love and would like to marry. I asked her to marry me, but she wasnt sure if it was right after 4 yrs together. she was getting alot of pressure from her family to come home.. The job situation, was tough for her at the time, so she made the decicssion to go back home. I figure she didnt think I was the right person to marry, even though I would say that we had a good relationship.. 2. I know Im weak right now, this woman is very attractive and Cool, she showed interest, and I did the same, but I never went overboard. I always waited 4 or 5days befor calling her back, never talked about us as a couple, just interest in seeing her and doing stuff together. I have a huge crush on her, and that made me weak.. You know how that is.. It may have to do with the fact that she hangs out in very affluent circles, or she reconciliated with her ex. she did tell me that she was ready for marriage and kids, but her ex was not since he had been married and divorced once before.. I dont know, it keeps eating at me, I just wish I knew for sure what the hell is going on.. 3.By being uninterested, you mean even if she calls play it like I dont want to talk or hang out etc.. If she calls??? I know what you about tamming alphafemales. I dated one for two years. They are a little intimidating at first.. She still hasnt called.
Swamp Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 I am discussing 2 seperate women. I'm sorry. No family could ever overcome the feeling of deep love. No pressure. Nothing. I don't know the entire story, but I imagine this girl who moved to Sweden had a lack of respect for your relationship, or... you, even. Love is an incredibly strong force. She would have taken you with her if she really was, for a lack of a better term, 'hot' for you. No woman, in love, would ever leave a man, she was in love with, after 4 years, without taking him. Think long and very hard about it. Don't underestimate her, and do be very honest with yourself and the things you could have changed about yourself. This other women may not call back. But your only real chances of hearing from her are through NOT CONTACTING her. You may need to back off for a month or so. Write down a date, in about 4 weeks when you can give her a buzz, and get a fresh start. Approach it a little differently. Seriously, give it a month and try again. Let her feel the effect of you not being around so whatever subconcious pressure she is feeling from your presence will deteriorate. Then... bam. Give a very happy, positive call and just say "hi." Reinitiate contact and see if you can move at a slower pace.
Author carmat3 Posted June 25, 2005 Author Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by Swamp I am discussing 2 seperate women. I'm sorry. No family could ever overcome the feeling of deep love. No pressure. Nothing. I don't know the entire story, but I imagine this girl who moved to Sweden had a lack of respect for your relationship, or... you, even. Love is an incredibly strong force. She would have taken you with her if she really was, for a lack of a better term, 'hot' for you. No woman, in love, would ever leave a man, she was in love with, after 4 years, without taking him. Think long and very hard about it. Don't underestimate her, and do be very honest with yourself and the things you could have changed about yourself. This other women may not call back. But your only real chances of hearing from her are through NOT CONTACTING her. You may need to back off for a month or so. Write down a date, in about 4 weeks when you can give her a buzz, and get a fresh start. Approach it a little differently. Seriously, give it a month and try again. Let her feel the effect of you not being around so whatever subconcious pressure she is feeling from your presence will deteriorate. Then... bam. Give a very happy, positive call and just say "hi." Reinitiate contact and see if you can move at a slower pace. The woman in Sweden tried to get me to move out there. She use to send me employment listings for jobs I could maybe do. This went on for the first 3 months after she left. I cant just get up and go, because I have a good job here in the states.. There was also plans for me to go visit for a month, but that changed after a few months. There is some truth to what you are saying, I could have changed a few things about my self...
Author carmat3 Posted June 28, 2005 Author Posted June 28, 2005 Still no call, and Im growing weak... I want to call...
Author carmat3 Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 After thinking about it , I did go a little overboard. At the time It seemed to me that all the right signals where there and this thing was taking off. she made her moves and made it clear that she liked me, but it was probably too soon, because it only had been like 3 or 4 weeks after her brake up. What probably pissed her off, is that I called her phone 3 times the last time I talked to her and didnt leave a message(I hate voice mail). She picked up on the third call. I farked up, your right I may have tried to move too fast, only time will tel nowl... If I dont keep talking to the Swedish woman, she tends to fade away, but If I call or email, I keep her interested.
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