stillminds Posted May 21, 2016 Posted May 21, 2016 As a complete dating noob, I think this is my biggest issue now. See, I have no trouble talking to women i'm perusing as I would talk to platonic friends. I don't feel nervous and can carry the conversation. (I used to have major issues with that, so I'm happy I've made progress!) However, when it comes to flirting/sexual tension, I suddenly feel nervous af and freeze. I think it stems from my fear as being labeled a pervert. Also, I have an intense fear of rejection so before I ask a girl out I make sure I'm 99% sure she'll say yes. So I guess being labeled as a rejected pervert is the worst Hell I can imagine lmao. I feel like these two states (platonic vs sexual discussion/action) are completely separate and I want to learn to bridge the gap. Or at least make the transition smoother. For instance, going from playful platonic topics to flirting may seem awkward and creepy if not transitioned smoothly. I want to be a gentleman, but I know if I don't make any moves I'll just end up in the friendzone. (Hasn't happened yet, but I can predict that).
Porter56 Posted May 21, 2016 Posted May 21, 2016 Yeah, I totally get what you're saying. It's hard to transition from just a normal conversation into flirty/sexual tension type conversation. I've never been able to do that either. If feels weird and creepy and yes you're right....somewhat perverted. All of my flirtations always come off as creepy and awkward. It's something you're born with, some people are just good at doing it and some aren't. You might be one of those people like me that just can't seem to pull it off. It really stinks because this will make women not like you, but it's just who you are. I guess you should just try your best to be flirtatious and take things to the next level but don't be afraid to look stupid because there's a good chance you will.
d0nnivain Posted May 21, 2016 Posted May 21, 2016 It doesn't always have to be what you say but how you say it. Get closer to flirt. Touch her -- not in a creepy way but on the arm or tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Whisper. She'll have to lean in to hear you. Smile more. Throw in ONE wink.
RedPurpleOrange Posted May 21, 2016 Posted May 21, 2016 (edited) Make sexy noises and mild innuendo at certain points if something remotely fruity is said. But not ALL the time. You don't want to come across as a camp British 70s sitcom actor. But sexy unhs, ohhhhs, ooooms, aaaaahs work well, but they gotta be part of your personality rather than rehearsed or forced. You're on a date with a view to eventually getting in someone's pants. And if they're on a date with you, then they're looking for someone to eventually do just that. Love, obviously, but love involves getting into each other's pants at many points. Remember that. Edited May 21, 2016 by RedPurpleOrange
Recommended Posts