dmsisu Posted May 21, 2016 Posted May 21, 2016 Before I get to the main part - here's the facts. Ex broke up with me on May 6th (on the eve of 6 months) after giving me the silent treatment for a week (one of her key narcissistic traits too) I broke NC for the first time today because a friend suggested giving her space, to let her calm down and hopefully come to her senses and give me back my TV. Well, as I suspected... she saw the message, but didn't reply. So below is the message I sent her today. Then in the section after, is my question to you readers / advice givers. ------------------------------------------------------------ Hi Danielle, Hope you’re well. I decided to give you some space, before contacting you regarding this matter. I need my TV, I had said you could borrow it until I found an apartment but I never said it was yours even if we broke up. It’s an $800 52” TV that I bought back in 2012. I have some options for pick up: I could stop on over this weekend during Santi’s nap time, quickly and quietly, I’ll just unplug the TV and go or I could also set-up your TV that I brought to the basement. You could have your father unplug it and leave it outside for me to pick up this coming week 5/23-5/27 at his convenience, morning, day, night. And if you’d prefer to avoid any interaction or really want the TV that bad - then I’ll sell it to you for $400. Kind regards, Dan ------------------------------------------------------------ My ex-girlfriend won't give me back my 52 inch TV. I stupidly lent it to her cause I had it in storage and didn't want the cold to damage it. She claims I told her she could have it - even if we broke up. No man or woman, would ever agree to that. I asked her when she broke up with me when we could arrange a time for me to pick it up, but in break up fashion she wouldn't answer me and just said bye. I decided to wait for things to cool down and give her some space, hoping she'd have some sense and agree it's mine. Still nothing. I then sent her a very straight forward txt today, which I can see she read, but still no response. There's nothing else that I want. Don't want to talk to her. Much better off without her, just want my TV. Because hiring an attorney, might cost more than the TV's worth. I was thinking of driving down the street from her place, and calling her to see if I could drop off books she hand loaned me + a blank check that she gave me to fill out the price for something I shipped for her, but forgot — (see, I'm not a dishonest guy, I could easily write out $400 for the TV price I'm asking.) OR I can just suck it up, learn my lesson, move on, and go permanent NC. Thank you all for your time, guidance, and support.
LD1990 Posted May 21, 2016 Posted May 21, 2016 You would probably actually be suing her in small claim's court if you were to go the lawsuit route, meaning no attorneys. You'd have to pay filing fees and have her served, but you may be able to sue her for court costs, as well. The problem would be providing enough evidence that the TV is actually yours. Situations like these can be difficult because she can just say it's her TV, and then it's her word against yours. You could always contact her again and tell her you don't want to take her to court, but you will if she doesn't let you get your TV. Or, if you knew her father at all (since you mentioned him in your message to her), you could try contacting him and explaining that you just want to get your TV back. There aren't any slam dunk solutions as you're in a tough spot here, but it doesn't sound like you care to see her or her family again so hey, maybe talking to her father is worth a shot? Now, it is only a few hundred bucks, so if it's not a big deal you may just wanna cut your losses here. 1
Assil Posted May 21, 2016 Posted May 21, 2016 If she doesn’t respond in a week, then write a very formal final demand letter saying she has until xx date to return the TV or you will bring her to court. It costs nearly nothing to file in small claims, and it’s often all it takes to give the person a final push to return what is owed to you to avoid going to court. I doubt she wants to show up to face you in small claims over this. I get the advice that often it’s not worth it to get little stuff back (and often the dumpee uses "stuff" as an excuse to see the person and remain in contact), but I think it’s disrespectful of an ex to not give back something that is obviously valuable. She thinks she can just ignore you and pretend that the TV was a gift? No, stand up for yourself and make sure to get it back. Then go full NC forever. 1
Author dmsisu Posted May 22, 2016 Author Posted May 22, 2016 (edited) Thank you @Assil for the supportive boost at the end of your reply "She thinks she can just ignore you and pretend that the TV was a gift? No, stand up for yourself and make sure to get it back." So I sent this — Listen, I know we're done. I'm not trying nor want to fix anything. All I want is my TV. I always respected you, gave you tremendous amount of space, you frequently praised me for my patience, my compassion and sweetness. I was always helpful, going above and beyond what probably any boyfriend would do, usually volunteering and whenever you asked. I took you on fabulous dates, cooked for you, and distracted your mind when you needed. I also got along great with your family, impressing your parents with my creative date ideas, your brothers with my quick solution to finding an alternative venue. And lastly, from the first day I met your son - I fell in love. And I was really good with him. Learning to never look at him after his nap, playing with him, and trying to invent new ways to entertain him. I will ALWAYS forever cherish my little bit of time with the world's cutest little guy. Seeing his face light-up while watching fish at the aquarium, I'm looking forward to the day when a child of mine does the same. I was a 1 in a million boyfriend and I would have been a great husband and father cause that's what you wanted me to be at one point. Why the sudden breakup on the eve of our 6 months, I'll never know, but I think you thought I was going to break up with you and you didn't want to lose that control. Just let me get my TV Danielle, and I will completely disappear forever from your life. Her reply: It's fine about the tv. I think pickup on Friday at 11 am would work. _________________________________________________ BOOOOOOM! Dumpee wins against Narcissistic Dumper! And no legal stuff needed! Edited May 22, 2016 by dmsisu
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