Jump to content

My ex-GF says I raped her

chev

By chev
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

CupCakess Established Member

CupCakess

Posted
Posted

Let me ask you something:

 

If a man and his girlfriend are one day in bed, and the woman wants sex and the guy does not (lets say he is tired and wants to sleep), and:

 

- the woman begins to insist on having sex

- begins to touch him, kiss his neck, grab him, etc.

- says "come on! I want you"

- when refused starts crying and asking him:"don't you love me? are u not attracted to me? do you have another woman?"

 

Do we consider that to be coercion? do we consider that to be a "rape" personality?

 

We probably would not.

 

Something to think about. :bunny:

  • Like 2
Blanco Established Member

Blanco

Posted
Posted
Let me ask you something:

 

If a man and his girlfriend are one day in bed, and the woman wants sex and the guy does not (lets say he is tired and wants to sleep), and:

 

- the woman begins to insist on having sex

- begins to touch him, kiss his neck, grab him, etc.

- says "come on! I want you"

- when refused starts crying and asking him:"don't you love me? are u not attracted to me? do you have another woman?"

 

Do we consider that to be coercion? do we consider that to be a "rape" personality?

 

We probably would not.

 

Something to think about. :bunny:

 

There's a world of difference between persistence in the face of "no," and taking physical action in the face of "no."

  • Like 3
CupCakess Established Member

CupCakess

Posted
Posted
There's a world of difference between persistence in the face of "no," and taking physical action in the face of "no."

 

We are not discussing physical action or violent threats, because we have already established that would be indeed a rape situation.

 

I never implied otherwise, so please don't alter my statement.

 

The point of the topic is wether he was coercing her just by asking her, and the nature of her consent.

  • Like 1
mrldii Established Member

mrldii

Posted
Posted

Actually, the biggest *problem* with all of this is the ages of the children that were involved when all of the alleged rapes took place.

 

Just like a minor (male or female) can't provide consent, minors (male and female) aren't held to the same standards as adults when committing any [alleged] crimes.

 

 

I'm confident that now that OP is a grown man, he knows "No means no" and knows better than to coerce a woman into having sex with him,

 

 

riiiight, OP?

  • Like 1
preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

She's just now reaching the age where she realizes it was rape. She was too young to be expected to know what she was doing. Still I understand she's your ex and I assume that means you both regarded yourselves as in a relationship together and that lines get fuzzy. Were you both about the same age? If you were both minors, it's still statutory rape before whatever age it is in your state, and you can Google that. And it's rape if you keep going after she says no. It doesn't sound like a very good bet for something to prosecute because you were together a long time but under the law, she is growing up and realizing you coerced her at times.

 

If I were you I wouldn't put anything in writing, but I would apologize to her on the phone and tell her you were as young and stupid as she was and twice as horny, and apologize, but remind her that you did love her. Married men can be prosecuted for rape, just so you know. It's hard to prove, but forced sex isn't legal even when you're married. I know you'll be more careful now and stop when someone says no.

  • Like 2
phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted
Let me ask you something:

 

If a man and his girlfriend are one day in bed, and the woman wants sex and the guy does not (lets say he is tired and wants to sleep), and:

 

- the woman begins to insist on having sex

- begins to touch him, kiss his neck, grab him, etc.

- says "come on! I want you"

- when refused starts crying and asking him:"don't you love me? are u not attracted to me? do you have another woman?"

 

Do we consider that to be coercion? do we consider that to be a "rape" personality?

 

We probably would not.

 

Something to think about. :bunny:

 

can't push a rope.

Cant slide a piston if the housing is dry.

  • Like 1
mrldii Established Member

mrldii

Posted
Posted
can't push a rope.

Cant slide a piston if the housing is dry.

 

Interesting theory.

 

So we'll put you down on the side that 'there has NEVER been a rape committed in all of mankind' as - obviously, if a woman claims rape...including by a complete stranger -

 

she had to have *secretly* *wanted it*, otherwise her dryness would have made the alleged rapist give up, zip up, and go home.

 

 

Yeah. Makes absolute *sense*.

 

 

 

#WHATWarOnWomen

  • Like 3
ChickiePops Established Member

ChickiePops

Posted
Posted
can't push a rope.

Cant slide a piston if the housing is dry.

 

So basically..any moisture in the vaginal region = go ahead and **** a woman regardless of what's coming out of her mouth?

 

Wow...

  • Like 3
Blanco Established Member

Blanco

Posted
Posted

Rape allegations are serious, potentially character damaging charges, but that's only because rape itself is a serious, damaging act.

 

There are definitely women who have abused this power, but it's alarming that in 2016, there are still so many people whose gut reaction to rape claims is to first highly suspect the victim before entertaining the credibility of their claims.

  • Like 2
Blanco Established Member

Blanco

Posted
Posted

I guess I'm just disappointed that it's still such a common belief that a considerable number of rape cases really just boil down to either buyer's remorse on the victim's part or outright fabrications on the victim's part.

 

Beliefs like this are what still have so many people thinking that a woman who's been raped, on some level, deserved it, whether it was how they were dressed, how they talked to someone or, that they were drinking alcohol within 50 feet of a man.

 

I know someone who loves, loves, LOVES to engage in lots of anti-women banter concerning them being gold-diggers, status chasers, or yes, non-credible when it comes to rape allegations. The last is especially grating, as it is not a deep secret that many years ago, he engaged in sexual acts with someone who had passed out from drinking.

  • Like 2
CupCakess Established Member

CupCakess

Posted
Posted
I guess I'm just disappointed that it's still such a common belief that a considerable number of rape cases really just boil down to either buyer's remorse on the victim's part or outright fabrications on the victim's part.

 

Beliefs like this are what still have so many people thinking that a woman who's been raped, on some level, deserved it, whether it was how they were dressed, how they talked to someone or, that they were drinking alcohol within 50 feet of a man.

 

I know someone who loves, loves, LOVES to engage in lots of anti-women banter concerning them being gold-diggers, status chasers, or yes, non-credible when it comes to rape allegations. The last is especially grating, as it is not a deep secret that many years ago, he engaged in sexual acts with someone who had passed out from drinking.

 

No one is doing that. But it seems that you rather counter arguments by engaging in off-topic chat.

 

The OP is the guy, and he offered a side of the story (the only one).

 

What we are discussing in the last fewe pages about consent/coercion is about this particular situation, NOT about cases of abuse in general. We are discussing how this particular situation might hold up legally and moraly.

 

So, honestly, your comments seem a bit out of line, and very distant from what we are actually discussing.

  • Like 1
mrldii Established Member

mrldii

Posted
Posted
No one is doing that. But it seems that you rather counter arguments by engaging in off-topic chat...

So, honestly, your comments seem a bit out of line, and very distant from what we are actually discussing.

 

Some posters have been "doing that" (stating that there is no such thing as 'rape'); *odd* that you haven't noticed. Some of us have...and are commenting in rebuttal to those posts.

 

We couldn't have made our "off-topic chat" replies if the posts "doing that" hadn't been made...

 

...and remained posted in this thread.

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted

Cant slide a piston if the housing is dry.

 

A vagina may lubricate as an involuntary response to rape. It does NOT indicate that she wants it or is enjoying it.

 

My concern is that, at age 13, many girls only engage in sex because they believe they need to do it to show love. They may not actually enjoy it. And the fact that she said no when sex was happening daily would point to her not actually getting pleasure from it. Daily.

  • Like 1
bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

Posted
Posted

First of all, no means no. I think you know that by now but if she really was raped by some guy jumping out of the dark and grabbing her and raping her, the sad part is that if she presses charges, the defense attorney has a field day making her out like she was begging for it and making a girls life a living hell and that stinks. But there's something telling me that she's saying this to her BF to maybe justify her having sex with you because me thinks that her BF knows that she's got experience and a lot of it and he may not be happy about it.

 

I could be totally wrong but if I were you I would get some questions answered by a lawyer

  • Like 1
Robert Established Member

Robert

Posted
Posted

Since this thread is no longer about the original post, we'll close it up. ~6

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...