x5m Posted May 20, 2016 Posted May 20, 2016 So I met this girl almost 6 months ago, we started talking and realized we had a lot in common. I always thought she was attractive and honestly love her personality - she is so incredibly fun to be around. We randomly started hanging out, and always have a great time - we can talk for hours. Now literally we hang out every day when she is not working. We'll go out drinking, get something to eat, hang out at my house, hang out with her friends, etc. She obviously likes spending time with me because she is always the one to text first to hang out. I am slowly falling for this girl.. but she is recently engaged. It feels wrong to even think of trying to get with this girl, but I can't stop thinking about her. I have not made any advances, and I am keeping my distance just because I think it's wrong.. but my emotions are taking over. She is in my head constantly. She truly makes me happy. I've never met her fiance but she always complains to me that he never takes her out, always plays games, etc. She calls him a bum. She obviously likes the guy since she decided to spend the rest of her life with him.. but I just don't know. She just seems super into me.. maybe I am delusional.
smudge21 Posted May 20, 2016 Posted May 20, 2016 You're the fun part of her life, whereas he is her life. As much as she enjoys being with you and even complains about him, she is marrying him and intending to spend her life with him. So I wouldn't put much value into what she tells you. If she was seriously unhappy then she wouldn't be with him, let alone marrying him. You either need to walk away from this one (which at this stage I know will be hard, but it's only going to get worse) or you talk it out with her and find out exactly and honestly where her heart is. I would expect though that she'll just remind you she's engaged... and sadly, you're just a good friend. 1
PegNosePete Posted May 20, 2016 Posted May 20, 2016 You should tell her: "Hey XXX, you might have noticed that as we're getting closer I am starting to have feelings for you. Obviously since you're engaged this is inappropriate. Due to these feelings and your engaged status I feel I am unable to maintain a normal friendship with you any more. Sorry, but I think it's best we don't see each other any more." 4
introverted1 Posted May 20, 2016 Posted May 20, 2016 Just what do you find so attractive about a girl who's in an EA with you while engaged to someone else? Would you find her behavior acceptable if you were the fiance? Frankly, I am not impressed by a woman who says negative things about her fiance while initiating daily hang-outs with another guy she seems "super into." Walk away. This has train wreck written all over it. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 20, 2016 Posted May 20, 2016 You can take the direct approach & tell her why you are pulling back or you can just fade out. Either way you need to put distance in here. For your won sanity, stop spending time with this woman. You wouldn't go a a bakery every day while on a diet, would you? Stop torturing yourself with someone you can't have. Even if she did cheat in her FI with you, that just makes her a cheater not an attractive quality because remember if she cheats with you, she will cheat on you.
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