Thoughts on my date?

[ebbo123]

Hi

 

Just looking for some advice on a date, not very experienced.

 

Had date with a quite shy girl, I'm quite shy, we talked a lot online before, decent discussion during first date, few awkward silences, she said she enjoy it, she went for a hug at end of first date and we arranged a second. First date went fairly well.

 

Second date just before I asked if she still up for the date, she said "yeah sure". We went to a cafe with board games, didn't talk as much as we was focused on playing the games but it was fun. Quite a few laughs and contact.

 

I feel it went quite well even though not much talking, though I couldn't see any signs of her liking me.

 

She mentioned leaving about 2 1/2 hours in as "it was closing soon", though it wasnt closing for about 30 mins, though it was getting late. I offered to pay, she said it's fine you paid last time.

 

Walking back, she said that was fun and was good time. Though from this point, I asked if she wanted to do something again and she said she's busy now for a while now due to exams (which is true). She didn't really mention wanting to do anything again. When saying goodbye, she turned for a second or two, then said something like "OK, good to see you, bye" without a chance to hug (or more). Then we went on our way. She messaged me when back to say she was home safe and good night.

 

Not very experience with all this, not sure what to think. Should I text her anything?

 

Going from a hug first date to just bye second. May she be interested but too shy/busy or she's lost interest?

 

Should I just ask her nicely, then I'll know.

 

Thanks for any advice.

 

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Did you guys ever flirt online? Was there ever an understanding that these were "dates"?

 

It is hard to know for sure because shy people can sometimes be awkward in these situations.

 

I think I would arrange one more date, a romantic setting (after her exams) and make a move. If she doesn't respond positively then you have your answer, friends it is.

 

I think it is a good idea to stay in contact. Make the tone a little more flirtatious, maybe throw in a couple of compliments just to let her know you are attracted to her. If she likes you this will help to build up the anticipation of seeing you again.

 

Good luck.

[Kaleard]

I feel like I post this under so many topics but it sounds like you didn't make a move and she decided you were too passive and moved on. Every single date you have to escalate physical contact in some way or you are finished with women! If you went from a hug to nothing on the second date you are totally screwed! If a girl (especially a shy one!) initiates a hug on the first date, that is HUGE! Most girls won't do anything until you make a move. She was actually giving you the go ahead to take it further while most of us have to do that blind! When she did that and you failed to act on it, she was lost. You should have been using lots of physical contact like putting your arm around her waist and holding hands and eventually going in for a kiss on that 2nd date. You're going to have to learn your lesson and do things differently next time. Almost every man feels uncomfortable making a move but it's something you have to do and soon if you want to have a physical connection with a girl.

[ebbo123]

Did you guys ever flirt online? Was there ever an understanding that these were "dates"?

 

It is hard to know for sure because shy people can sometimes be awkward in these situations.

 

Yes we did a little. It was clear these were dates. Before the first date she said she is "looking forward to our date". Then after we talked about the second "date".

 

I think I would arrange one more date' date=' a romantic setting (after her exams) and make a move. If she doesn't respond positively then you have your answer, friends it is.[/quote']

 

What would you consider a more "romantic setting"?

 

I think it is a good idea to stay in contact. Make the tone a little more flirtatious' date=' maybe throw in a couple of compliments just to let her know you are attracted to her. If she likes you this will help to build up the anticipation of seeing you again.[/quote']

 

It's really hard to tell. I assume if she keeps up contact she's probably still interested in some way. I'll do this.

 

Thanks for the advice.

[ebbo123]

I feel like I post this under so many topics but it sounds like you didn't make a move and she decided you were too passive and moved on. Every single date you have to escalate physical contact in some way or you are finished with women! If you went from a hug to nothing on the second date you are totally screwed! If a girl (especially a shy one!) initiates a hug on the first date, that is HUGE! Most girls won't do anything until you make a move. She was actually giving you the go ahead to take it further while most of us have to do that blind! When she did that and you failed to act on it, she was lost. You should have been using lots of physical contact like putting your arm around her waist and holding hands and eventually going in for a kiss on that 2nd date. You're going to have to learn your lesson and do things differently next time. Almost every man feels uncomfortable making a move but it's something you have to do and soon if you want to have a physical connection with a girl.

 

Thanks for the advice. Yeah I feel I screwed up, but at the same time the whole second date didn't really offer much opportunity to do this. I'll see if things go any further, if so I'll not screw up this time.

[Grey40]

I wouldnt say all is lost, but you absolutely need to make a move on the next date, if you can even get her to go to one. I would set up a dinner date at a restaurant, then to a bar for drinks and then back to your place if all goes well. Sucks to have to make a move and be rejected, but it's a must. Just be lucky you got this far, getting the girl to even go on the date is the hardest part.

[ebbo123]

I wouldnt say all is lost, but you absolutely need to make a move on the next date, if you can even get her to go to one. I would set up a dinner date at a restaurant, then to a bar for drinks and then back to your place if all goes well. Sucks to have to make a move and be rejected, but it's a must. Just be lucky you got this far, getting the girl to even go on the date is the hardest part.

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

Any suggestions on how to save myself and message her to possibly discuss another date? Her exams don't finish for 2 weeks, but it'd be easy to fit one in between if she's interested.

[Grey40]

Thanks for the advice.

 

Any suggestions on how to save myself and message her to possibly discuss another date? Her exams don't finish for 2 weeks, but it'd be easy to fit one in between if she's interested.

 

It's a tough call. How long ago was the last date? I'd give her some space, let her stay busy with her schoolwork etc, maybe she'll start to miss you a little bit, I'd wait a week or so after the prior date and then start up light conversation again, and then escalate that to asking for another date. Dinner/movie is cliche but it's def much more romantic than playing board games in a coffee shop.

[d0nnivain]

Do not ask her if she is losing interest. Do ask her for another date. Perhaps send her a little something to help her study. . .like a highlighter pen or a bar of chocolate for energy. Write a note that says "good luck on your exams!'