DodgersFan15 Posted May 19, 2016 Posted May 19, 2016 Firstly, let me start off by saying I barely come on here at all and haven't been on this site in maybe 7 months or so. I find this site very useful ONLY in the beginning stages of a break-up but after awhile found it to be very counter-productive with the healing process so haven't visited this site in ages.... Long story short, me and my ex broke up almost a year ago. We were together for nearly 2 years, and are from the same city but went long distance during the last year because of her graduate school studies. My ex at the time blamed the distance (We lived across states; LA and the East Coast) as the sole underlying reason for the breakup and I tried really hard to reconcile with her during that dreadful day. We talked for hours on hours that day, however, she had made up her mind. We parted ways and never contacted each other since that day. That's one thing I do take pride in. I was severely depressed for many months. It took me about 5 months to recover as I longed and hoped for her to contact me back and reconcile but it never came to fruition. As with most breakups, it came out of nowhere for me, but in looking back, there were signs all over the place during the past month prior to her breaking up with me. Around the 6 month mark after our break-up I met my new-to-be girlfriend who I've been with for the past 6 months. Things have been going great so far (knock on wood =) ). She is completely different in almost every aspect from my ex. Most for the better and some for the worse, but is someone I can totally see myself for the future. In a lot of ways this is so much of a more healthier relationship because we see each other every few days and talk to each other everyday, whereas with my ex, I only saw her once every 2-3 months for the last year and it was not something I would ever want to be in (Long distance wise)..... Truthfully, aside for maybe the 1st month or so, where I started comparing and contrasting them, I have not thought about my ex at all. I'm very happy with who I'm with now and what lies ahead. However, just recently, as in yesterday, a mutual friend of mine posted a pic of her when she went to visit along with a guy. I had blocked her from all social media and deleted her phone, but when I saw the picture and I saw our mutual friend tagging the guy, I was curious, and so, I clicked on his name on Facebook, only to be redirected to his page and find out that he had a profile picture of himself along with my ex together. I saw a few other pics of them on FB along with their respective dates and turns out she left me for this new guy right around the time of our breakup... I'm not sure why, but seeing this yesterday did put a sort of bitter taste in my mouth and made me feel somewhat sad/used/bad. Now, I know it's only been a day, and this was totally new info that came to light, but is what I'm feeling normal or is this a set-back and unhealthy? I'm really upset at myself for allowing myself to feel this way because I shouldn't, but since yesterday it's sort of been on my mind if I want to be honest, and when you haven't thoought about an ex for almost 6 months and all of a sudden thoughts come swarming back, it's definitely not a good feeling. Don't get me wrong, I love my new gf and am very happy at the moment, but I just feel weird how I've been feeling this way since yesterday finding this new info out. Any thoughts/advice would really be appreciated.
Zahara Posted May 20, 2016 Posted May 20, 2016 I think what you're feeling is normal. You never really understood why she left you and your closure at that point was believing that she ended it because of distance. Now that you know the actual reason for her ending, it's understandable that you feel this way. Don't be so hard on yourself. This will pass. I think it's more so the shock of now finding out the reality of it all. 2
Bo34 Posted May 23, 2016 Posted May 23, 2016 I think what you're saying is very understandable and quite normal. It happened to me as well a few years ago with my ex... You never were given the true reason for the breakup and now that you finally know, it's a lot of information. NODBODY likes being replaced, even when we are over someone or are in a new relationship. I think it may have to be more of an ego thing for you than anything else adn that too, is normal. The fact that you are in a happy new relationship and haven't thought about her much all this time, should alleviate your concerns and judging by what I went through too, it will going away in a few days to a week
ChickiePops Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 When you begin a post by talking about how unhelpful the people on here are, you're bound to get less replies..a note for the future, keep those thoughts to yourself. That said, I'd be upset too..but it'll pass quickly. Just go snuggle your new girl and you'll forget all about it. 1
NoLeafClover Posted May 24, 2016 Posted May 24, 2016 Normal dude..my ex got with some.dude like 5-6 months after thr BU but I found out about him a year after our BU when she our mutual friend showed a pic of her a few months prego.. I didn't care about my terrible ex but the fact she was prego with someone she barely new gave me a similar feeling and idk why. Might not have been a few days she found a different dude to be with, but wasn't expecting her with a baby a year after our BU. So yes a but of a different case but I'd say your feelings are normal. I'd discuss this with you gf perhaps she might make you feel better. Your ex probably had another plan on the side.. sorry but at least you're better off now.
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