Toodaloo Posted May 19, 2016 Posted May 19, 2016 I dunno I am still not thinking its all that important to say the words. My new guy looks me deep in the eyes and makes a point of saying it. He asks if I know that he loves me. The answer is yes. Because he makes an effort to see me, when he sees me he makes an effort to ensure I am happy, when I am happy he is happy to see me so. Last night he did some repairs around the house, carried the shopping for supper and cleaned up after we had eaten. He was physically attentive with lots of hugs and kisses. He paid me compliments and made me smile. I don't need him to say it because I feel it. 1
tayriley Posted May 19, 2016 Posted May 19, 2016 honestly, i feel like it is a naive thing to put so much pressure on the ILYs...why? when you grow up, you realize that there are men who physically and/or emotionally abuse their women and then say 'i love you' afterwards. The words don't mean anything. Do you feel loved and cherished? THAT is what matters. I had a boyfriend who would say it every time we had a fight...it almost sounded like a threat. As in 'I love you, so have no right to be mad at me.' He was very immature in that way. Also, about the long distance thing- I have done it twice and both times it did not work out. If I were you, I'd look within to figure out what it is about distance that makes you comfortable. This isn't how healthy relationships work. Sure, sometimes a couple HAS TO be separated for a time and there is an expiration date on when they will be in the same town again. In that case, they are building their long distance relationship on a foundation they've already made. For a relationship to be ONLY long distance is really not ideal. If there is no plan to actually be together in the same place in the future, it tells me that there are some fear-of-intimacy issues going on on one or both sides. 1
Dis Posted May 20, 2016 Posted May 20, 2016 I think I said it to my current GF like 3 weeks in. Did not even realize I said it. She was like "what did you just say!?" She smothered me with affection after that. I will say that we did know each other before we began dating though. So it's not like our first three weeks together was also our first three weeks of knowing each other. My bf of one month just blurted out, "I love you so much" two nights ago! I can tell he did not mean to say it out loud and I was so shocked I didnt say anything back, but I was so happy he said it...I did the same thing your gf did....started hugging and kissing him, then we had sex. I didnt say it back though...I'm def falling for him but I'm not at that point quite just yet. I actually posted about it bcuz I dont want to leave him hanging...I hope he's not feeling bad about that...I just didnt want to say it if I'm not at that point yet. I dont know if I should talk to him about it or not??? OP, I totally feel the same as you...I need to hear those words, that verbal affirmation. But I need actions too....probably more than the words. If your bf is showing you he loves you but hes just not saying it...let things unfold naturally....if it gets to the point where you feel you cant wait any longer to here it...then talk to him. Or like another poster has mentioned, you can always say it first. Some guys just arent good with expressing things like that...nothing wrong with that but do have a talk with him if you feel it needs to be addressed. 1
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