Why did dumper send me this letter?

[Justletgo]

What do you think she wants to achieve by sending me this?

 

The letter:

(Typed out, two pages, sent by firstclass post. )

 

I can understand very well that you are angry or have been angry, and perhaps also sad and let down. I think that everyone who goes through something like this experiences these feelings.

 

I'd like to explain/tell you a few things.

 

After our first date which went very wel, I was waiting to fall in love before wanting to label us. This goes hand in hand with getting to know someone better for me. And if I had fallen in love, I had definitely wanted to start a relationship with you.

 

Like I told you in our conversation a few months ago, I would regret losing contact with you. It became very confusing for me because Iliked having you around me but I still wasn't in love.

I liked/like doing fun stuff with you, cuddling, sex, but I did not have a differen't feeling.

I have never experienced not knowing this after 3,5 months. So that means there are lots of very fun things about you to make me doubt.

 

The letter you sent sparked differen't feelings in me. It was so cute and and sparked a warm feeling in my heart. A feeling that comes with a great friendship. But I knew I had to end it and I did not look forward to hurting you. I do not have another and you didn't do anything wrong.

 

Although I had tried timing it better, it didn't pan out that way. I really didn't like that.

 

When two people feel different things then I don't think they can be happy. And I wish us both happiness.

 

I can still say that I have never lied to you and have always wished and still wish you the best.

 

Want to thank you fro the fun times I had with you and that I could be myself around you. And for your lively and kind character which radiates gratitude.

 

I hope you will find the happiness that you deserve!

 

If you have any questions then you are always allowed to ask them.

 

Fondly,

K

[PegNosePete]

Pretty weird thing to do.

 

What does she want to achieve? To make herself feel better and less guilty for dumping you.

 

What should you do? Nothing.

[Justletgo]

Indeed I think it's strange. Especially because I told her "Do not feel guilty and that you do not have to send me a letter. But it was a sweet thought".

[TaraMaiden2]

What do you think she wants to achieve by sending me this?

 

The letter:

(Typed out, two pages, sent by firstclass post. )

 

I can understand very well that you are angry or have been angry, and perhaps also sad and let down. I think that everyone who goes through something like this experiences these feelings.

 

I'd like to explain/tell you a few things.

 

After our first date which went very wel, I was waiting to fall in love before wanting to label us. This goes hand in hand with getting to know someone better for me. And if I had fallen in love, I had definitely wanted to start a relationship with you.

 

Like I told you in our conversation a few months ago, I would regret losing contact with you. It became very confusing for me because Iliked having you around me but I still wasn't in love.

I liked/like doing fun stuff with you, cuddling, sex, but I did not have a differen't feeling.

I have never experienced not knowing this after 3,5 months. So that means there are lots of very fun things about you to make me doubt.

 

The letter you sent sparked differen't feelings in me. It was so cute and and sparked a warm feeling in my heart. A feeling that comes with a great friendship. But I knew I had to end it and I did not look forward to hurting you. I do not have another and you didn't do anything wrong.

 

Although I had tried timing it better, it didn't pan out that way. I really didn't like that.

 

When two people feel different things then I don't think they can be happy. And I wish us both happiness.

 

I can still say that I have never lied to you and have always wished and still wish you the best.

 

Want to thank you fro the fun times I had with you and that I could be myself around you. And for your lively and kind character which radiates gratitude.

 

I hope you will find the happiness that you deserve!

 

If you have any questions then you are always allowed to ask them.

 

Fondly,

K

 

Summary.

Never loved you, kinda liked you, still like you we should be friends.

 

Interpretation?

see PegNosePete's post.

 

Action? Ditto.

[PrettyEmily77]

Nothing sinister at all.

 

Not even sure she wanted anything but to offer you some sort of closure and end things on a positive note. She still likes you as a person but is not in love with you - if anything, I read that as trying to tell you there is nothing you did that made her feel like things weren't working out from her point of view.

 

Some people don't see evil or bad intentions everywhere they look, and some people also manage to stay on friendly terms (not friends necessarily, but at least not raging enemies) with exes - when there is no abuse or cheating, it's a fairly mature thing to do.

 

Don't answer back if you think she's a horrible person who is toying with your emotions or if you're done and don't want any contact with her for any reason.

[elaine567]

 

The letter you sent

 

Obviously you sent HER a letter and she is sending one back in recognition of that fact and to make her feelings and position clear so that you understand where she is coming from.

She has no romantic feelings for you, and reading between the lines I do not think she sees being friends with you a viable option either.

Basically she is saying

"Sorry it didn't work out, these things happen, no hard feelings. Have a nice life, Bye."

[burnt]

What she wants to achieve is "closure"--both for herself and for you.

 

Sorry, but I don't see why it's weird to write this letter.

She loved you in a platonic way, but doesn't see a romantic love forming even after 3-5 months.

 

She is not just "dumping" you. She is walking away.

 

She loved you and cared about you and that's why she wanted to iterate her reason for ending the relationship--just to be able to say it wasn't easy for her. She is acknowledging that it is one of those relationships that doesn't hold a future, despite the mutual care for each other.

 

But more than anything, she is ending it because despite how much she loves having you in her life, she doesn't want to string you along or keep you hanging with false hope. She is being considerate, not cruel.

 

She is just saying a peaceful goodbye. That's all; no hidden agenda.

[jen1447]

Agree with Emily-elaine-burnt. I thought it was a nice letter. (I would have killed to get a letter like that at times in the distant past.)

[Haydn]

It was a nice letter. Maybe she gave herself and you some closure with it.

 

Sometimes people do have good intentions. Actually a lot of times people do.

[keiji]

It seems like a very honest and caring way to say goodbye. As jen said, I wish I had received something like that after my latest breakup. Keep that letter. It will probably help you remember that relationship with fondness in the future.

[Justletgo]

You know what, I keep liking the letter more and more. Doesn't really change the situation though.

 

I have decided to thank her for the love she put into writing that letter. She deserves that.

 

And am expecting her to stay silent forever.

[stillafool]

She probably felt this was her way of giving you closure. Ignore and keep moving on.

[ChickiePops]

You know what, I keep liking the letter more and more. Doesn't really change the situation though.

 

I have decided to thank her for the love she put into writing that letter. She deserves that.

 

And am expecting her to stay silent forever.

 

I wouldn't contact her again. You're just opening the door for more heartache. You said what you needed to say in your first letter, and she said what she needed to say in her reply. She knows you appreciate it. Someone has to stop the contact at some point..just let it be.