Jump to content

can the dumper who fell out of love, fall in love again with the same dumpee?

ydb_xo

By ydb_xo
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Jatli Member

Jatli

Posted
Posted

I agree. Time is the key. We were apart for 15 months before we really started talking again. We would see each other now and then (because we live across the street from each other ) but we were totally in NC for 5 months of that not seeing or talking to each other. Then he started showing up where I was and then he pulled over beside me one night while I was walking and I got into his car and we talked for a couple of hours.

 

Then he just started texting me randomly every couple of weeks and showing up at a coffee place I go to. Then started asking me out for coffee, that turned into asking me over for drinks and we just started talking and hanging out more.

 

At the beginning I blasted him for what he did but I had forgiven him a long time before that. It was what it was and being angry wasn't going to change it so I let it go.

 

We have been back together 9 months now and it's good. I had asked him if he ever thought of me all that time and he said he thought of me all the time.

 

So time is what I think helped us get back together. It made him realize what we had.

DontBreakEven Established Member

DontBreakEven

Posted
Posted
Don't know how old you are but if you read through a lot of these threads, older folks would agree that when you are truly in love with someone, that never really changes.

 

I'm sorry, but I disagree.

 

I was very much in love with my ex until she beat all those feelings out of me with her nasty attitude towards me, and life overall. Trust me, I didn't WANT to fall out of love. But I did. I had no choice.

  • Author
ydb_xo Member

ydb_xo

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'm sorry, but I disagree.

 

I was very much in love with my ex until she beat all those feelings out of me with her nasty attitude towards me, and life overall. Trust me, I didn't WANT to fall out of love. But I did. I had no choice.

 

at least you admitted that it was a choice. cant stand when people make it seem like they just fell out of love like it was just by magic or something lol

gaig Established Member

gaig

Posted
Posted
Another thing, that made it easier to move forward and forgive was the amount of time that passed. I think if he came back a couple months after, there would be no way of it working out. In my opinion, the more time that passes, the better your chances are for a successful reconciliation (again that is just my opinion).

 

So time is what I think helped us get back together. It made him realize what we had.

 

Agree with both of you.. a good amount of time could rekindle it FROM THE BEGINNING! NOT from where it was left of.

This must be the key.. to let both grow, emotionally mature, end up in comparisons and make there choice.

 

One necessary condition would also be to have treated your other half with endless love, selflessness and lots of good memories (apart from the last ones :D ). I felt the need to point this out since I've read here some horrible situations/BUs that of course these people are absolutely justified not to return in any of these relationships.

  • Like 1
  • Author
ydb_xo Member

ydb_xo

Posted
  • Author
Posted
. We both have grown independently and have realized that you can not depend on any one for your happiness. Another thing, that made it easier to move forward and forgive was the amount of time that passed. I think if he came back a couple months after, there would be no way of it working out. In my opinion, the more time that passes, the better your chances are for a successful reconciliation (again that is just my opinion). I mean it sucks cause that means that most likely they dated others, slept with others, etc. but oh well it is what it is, and sometimes especially if that person is all you know, you need to go out there and test the waters and explore your horizons before settling. Especially if you want to be 100% sure that the person you are with is that right one for you and you have no doubts in your mind. Because I don't care what anyone says, for me marriage is a scary commitment. Idk how many marriages you know of that have worked out, but the amount I know are slim to none.

 

 

I agree with all this 100%

JustAnotherLostLove Established Member

JustAnotherLostLove

Posted
Posted
No they do not "FALL BACK IN LOVE". The sooner you get this in your head the sooner you will move on. You will go on the internet, research everything you can and in some cases read otherwise.

 

Believe me if they fell out of love, they were never that in love to begin with. Alot of times people think they are in love and in reality is not love but rather infatuation. My ex claimed to have fallen out of love with me and yara yara yara and a month later he had a new girlfriend. Yet he was still sitting there giving me hope and whatnot.

 

MOVE ON. It's easier said than done but really MOVE ON and DON'T look back!

 

I think I agree. I was 30, when I started dating my ex, she was 20, and she left her fiance for me. We were together for over 3 years, she claimed to be in love, want marriage, babies, etc. But then one day (literally), she ignored me entirely, two days after that, she said she wasn't "in love with me anymore", left, and that was exactly 9 months ago. I loved her, truly, and still do. But I don't think she ever loved me, especially when considering how easy and abruptly she left me. And now she's hooking up with some other funny looking dude. Shame on me for being foolish, and that cost me, more than I'm willing to post here.

gaig Established Member

gaig

Posted
Posted
I think I agree. I was 30, when I started dating my ex, she was 20, and she left her fiance for me. We were together for over 3 years, she claimed to be in love, want marriage, babies, etc. But then one day (literally), she ignored me entirely, two days after that, she said she wasn't "in love with me anymore", left, and that was exactly 9 months ago. I loved her, truly, and still do. But I don't think she ever loved me, especially when considering how easy and abruptly she left me. And now she's hooking up with some other funny looking dude. Shame on me for being foolish, and that cost me, more than I'm willing to post here.

 

Damn.. same ages with me and my ex, same things she used to say. However, when her mind switched in a matter of days, it was actually 1-1.5 month that I kind of neglected her and spent short time into quality communication with her.

 

I believe the lack of experience makes them quite passive and clueless regarding how to fight a situation where the always supportive partner they used to know is fading away.. That moment that they feel the butterflies are gone, they immediately think that that must be the end of their feelings. I reckon there is a fine line between emotions and feelings which becomes even thinner due to youth and lack of experience.

justagrl07 Member

justagrl07

Posted
Posted
Agree with both of you.. a good amount of time could rekindle it FROM THE BEGINNING! NOT from where it was left of.

This must be the key.. to let both grow, emotionally mature, end up in comparisons and make there choice.

 

One necessary condition would also be to have treated your other half with endless love, selflessness and lots of good memories (apart from the last ones :D ). I felt the need to point this out since I've read here some horrible situations/BUs that of course these people are absolutely justified not to return in any of these relationships.

 

Yes, you are right on!

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...