steve123 Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 hi all , i'm the new guy here . Well i'm here because like many i am being cheated on and dumped as i type this .i'll explain . Well i'm in a relationship with a woman named Sherri . we met years ago as strangers and hit it off dated a while , broke up . before the break up she was already seeing someone . we did nc for a bit [ not long ] One day she came by my place unexpectedly.we talked she apologized for hurting me ,[ she wasn't seeing him anymore ] we saw each other a couple of more times , i left to visit and stay with my sister in another state .Sherri and i stayed friends .talked on the phone , e mailed . Christmas was coming up . i still had feelings for her , so decided i'd spend Christmas with her .went back to this state Sherri was happy i did . we started dating again .up until now about 2 years everything was good BUT lately i'm finding little lies to me [ telling me she's one place when she's not ] cancelling plans at the last minute ,putting everything including shopping before me .i've questioned all the above and never get a real answer. just things like something came up , a friend needed help ,her son had a ball game etc .which is all o.k. fine BUT you can call me and tell me , we got to communicate . Well lately i believe she i with another guy [ hurts to say ]my calls are being ignored , nothing i do is right , she's not happy to see me or be in my presence. i'll ask what's going on i get told nothings going on . i ask is their another guy ,someone you're interested in ? i get told no i'm too frustrated with men ,i'm just doing me . Sat night she was supposed to stop by my place didn't stop by didn't call .Saw her briefly on Sun , no explanation given .I did drive past her house and saw she wasn't home. that's happened numerous times . She's actually supposed to stop by here at some point tonight [ but i'm doubting that] so i'll get no answers ,no closure just left to feel like an idiot and being miserable . i actually genuinely love her , and never did anything hurtful to her .that;s why all this is so confusing . i don't believe going n.c. will work now , meaning she wont miss me after a while talk with me et. and some of you will say i'm probably better off that way .i guess i'm looking for things i'll never get [ answers ]
Buddhist Posted May 18, 2016 Posted May 18, 2016 i don't believe going n.c. will work now , meaning she wont miss me after a while talk with me et. and some of you will say i'm probably better off that way .i guess i'm looking for things i'll never get [ answers ] No contact is for you, not her. It's for you to have the space you need to sort out your feelings on the matter without her dropping by to confuse you and tell you what you want to hear. All the answers you need are inside of you, but I know it's difficult to see that while you feel the way you do. Take care of you. Try not to engage in any drama with her, it will only prolong your pain. Best of luck. 1
Author steve123 Posted May 18, 2016 Author Posted May 18, 2016 i understand the no contact part is for me .she basically is doing no contact to me now . it's hard ending a relationship you're in [ without even knowing it's over ] it's over for her , on her end .BUT you don't need to lie to me when we talk earlier and i ask is everything alright , are we going to work on this , is it over. and getting answers like ''i can stop by later'' but doesn't or call . i know get the hints , she doesn't want to bother with me BUT really after a little over 2 yrs be an adult and discuss it , or end it no lead someone to think theirs still something their . having no answers of what went wrong is hard [ you may not like the answers but at least you're not in the dark ] no closure just bugs ya
Poutrew Posted May 18, 2016 Posted May 18, 2016 I'd disagree with you. It is actually very easy to end a relationship with a girl like this. Just stop acknowledging her. Stop answering her calls. Go total NC on her ass Right Now. For example, if she does come over tonight, do not answer the door, or let her in. Just ignore her. Let her bang on the door and eventually go away. If she calls to find out where you were, answer the call and tell her you were home, and yes you heard her banging on the door. If she asks you why you didn't answer, tell her exactly what she tells you, then ask her if it feels good to be treated this way by someone who used to love you. Then tell her to not bother calling you again, and hang up the phone. Resume permanent NC, and reflect on how you can avoid hooking up with another woman like the last one. Then find a party somewhere to crash with some buds, and have some fun.
Author steve123 Posted May 18, 2016 Author Posted May 18, 2016 well she didn't come over tonight [ as she said she would ] no surprise their . actually she's gone no contact on me .not returning my calls ,or answering . i just wanted to get some items back , don't care if she leaves them on my porch ... The way this is going down isn't good , you don't lie to me telling me you'll stop by , we'll figure out what we can do to fix the relationship , etc . and then disappear on me . she doesn't need to be this way she can be n adult and tell me this relationship isn't working out , or something .if she acted as an adult , i'd respect that and do the same . to me what she's doing now is just playing kid games . getting dumped and not knowing why without any closure gives you such a bad / horrible feeling .add the cheating on top of it is just miserable .
Author steve123 Posted May 19, 2016 Author Posted May 19, 2016 Well just had a long talk with my girl [ the one i don't really feel like is in a relationship with me ] i still feel dumped . i asked straight out '' are we in a relationship '' ? the response was ''we're friends '' she says she's frustrated with the stuff that's been happening , and doesn't fell that bond we had . i agreed cause i sure don't feel it .i asked her straight out ''is their someone else , are you interested in another '' ? she said ''no '' . i told her i've been down her block and hadn't seen her car in her driveway , she said she's ''been home and parks in the garage'' [ something she only does in bad weather ] , i offered her forgiveness if she tells me right now what's up , told her i'm holding a door open if theirs anything she want's to be honest about and tell me we'll toss it out the door and not bring it up again .she said ''she has nothing to tell '' [ she has lied to me before even about small things ] SOO i'm not buying what she's selling [ or trying to sell ] i'm proceeding with caution . lately we haven't spoken at night ,my calls have gone un answered ,my voice mails not returned. when she left i said '' so go process what we've said today and the letter i wrote you ,give me a call later on o.k. ? she said'' i'll call you '' IF no call then i can pretty much assume theirs someone else i think .i wont accept ''oh i fell asleep '' or '' i was just thinking things over and don't have a reply '' etc . THEN i guess i go very limited contact , or even no contact until she reaches out to me [ i'm going to give her space right now to process what was said today] FRI i have a doc appointment about a sore kidney issue i'm having , she genuinely seems concerned [ we do care about each other in that way ] i'm going to be sore after the appointment and can use her help usually she spends the night here after i have appointments [ see if this times any different ] SOO i haven't gotten any real solid definite answers BUT i understand things need processing so i'll give it a bit of time ..she also said she started writing things down and would continue and give to me to read when their complete , she did cry a bit while we talked , and did say she missed the '' old me '' and i told her '' i missed the old you '' i'd like to get her back, and the old me would be back . HOPE i handled this situation well today .
LD1990 Posted May 19, 2016 Posted May 19, 2016 "We're friends" is basically the kiss of death when it comes to a relationship. She blows you off and hardly ever responds to your texts or calls. That's what women do to men that they don't like. It's not that she misses the old you, it's that she doesn't feel the same way she used to feel about you.
BlueIris Posted May 19, 2016 Posted May 19, 2016 Well just had a long talk with my girl [ the one i don't really feel like is in a relationship with me ] i still feel dumped . i asked straight out '' are we in a relationship '' ? the response was ''we're friends '' she says she's frustrated with the stuff that's been happening , and doesn't fell that bond we had . i agreed cause i sure don't feel it .i asked her straight out ''is their someone else , are you interested in another '' ? she said ''no '' . i told her i've been down her block and hadn't seen her car in her driveway , she said she's ''been home and parks in the garage'' [ something she only does in bad weather ] , i offered her forgiveness if she tells me right now what's up , told her i'm holding a door open if theirs anything she want's to be honest about and tell me we'll toss it out the door and not bring it up again .she said ''she has nothing to tell '' [ she has lied to me before even about small things ] SOO i'm not buying what she's selling [ or trying to sell ] i'm proceeding with caution . lately we haven't spoken at night ,my calls have gone un answered ,my voice mails not returned. when she left i said '' so go process what we've said today and the letter i wrote you ,give me a call later on o.k. ? she said'' i'll call you '' IF no call then i can pretty much assume theirs someone else i think .i wont accept ''oh i fell asleep '' or '' i was just thinking things over and don't have a reply '' etc . THEN i guess i go very limited contact , or even no contact until she reaches out to me [ i'm going to give her space right now to process what was said today] FRI i have a doc appointment about a sore kidney issue i'm having , she genuinely seems concerned [ we do care about each other in that way ] i'm going to be sore after the appointment and can use her help usually she spends the night here after i have appointments [ see if this times any different ] SOO i haven't gotten any real solid definite answers BUT i understand things need processing so i'll give it a bit of time ..she also said she started writing things down and would continue and give to me to read when their complete , she did cry a bit while we talked , and did say she missed the '' old me '' and i told her '' i missed the old you '' i'd like to get her back, and the old me would be back . HOPE i handled this situation well today . She answered you and it was clear. If you want more than to be friends and you're interpreting her hanging out with her as being a relationship or hope that she'll change, stop hanging out with her.
basil67 Posted May 19, 2016 Posted May 19, 2016 I can't see where there's a question of your relationship status. It seems quite clear to me that she's ended it. Being "friends" means that you're no longer an item.
preraph Posted May 19, 2016 Posted May 19, 2016 Are you wanting to believe there's someone else because it's hard for you to understand that a woman can just get tired of you and break it off without having a replacement? Because that's false. Just because she doesn't have anyone else doesn't mean there's any more hope of reuniting. She's done. Sorry, but you better move on. I bet she's super tired of cruising around spying on her.
Zoe5.5 Posted May 19, 2016 Posted May 19, 2016 hi all , i'm the new guy here . Well i'm here because like many i am being cheated on and dumped as i type this .i'll explain . Well i'm in a relationship with a woman named Sherri . we met years ago as strangers and hit it off dated a while , broke up . before the break up she was already seeing someone . we did nc for a bit [ not long ] One day she came by my place unexpectedly.we talked she apologized for hurting me ,[ she wasn't seeing him anymore ] we saw each other a couple of more times , i left to visit and stay with my sister in another state .Sherri and i stayed friends .talked on the phone , e mailed . Christmas was coming up . i still had feelings for her , so decided i'd spend Christmas with her .went back to this state Sherri was happy i did . we started dating again .up until now about 2 years everything was good BUT lately i'm finding little lies to me [ telling me she's one place when she's not ] cancelling plans at the last minute ,putting everything including shopping before me .i've questioned all the above and never get a real answer. just things like something came up , a friend needed help ,her son had a ball game etc .which is all o.k. fine BUT you can call me and tell me , we got to communicate . Well lately i believe she i with another guy [ hurts to say ]my calls are being ignored , nothing i do is right , she's not happy to see me or be in my presence. i'll ask what's going on i get told nothings going on . i ask is their another guy ,someone you're interested in ? i get told no i'm too frustrated with men ,i'm just doing me . Sat night she was supposed to stop by my place didn't stop by didn't call .Saw her briefly on Sun , no explanation given .I did drive past her house and saw she wasn't home. that's happened numerous times . She's actually supposed to stop by here at some point tonight [ but i'm doubting that] so i'll get no answers ,no closure just left to feel like an idiot and being miserable . i actually genuinely love her , and never did anything hurtful to her .that;s why all this is so confusing . i don't believe going n.c. will work now , meaning she wont miss me after a while talk with me et. and some of you will say i'm probably better off that way .i guess i'm looking for things i'll never get [ answers ] Hello , Break away when you need a breather and be alone and break down if you away from other employees. And on Lunch and in your ride to and from destinations. Try to make contact through phone call regardless of your feelings and emotions and as she has shared her heart with you , do the same for her . Be open and honest . Share how you feel concerning what she is doing and see if she would be willing to meet up and talk deeper in a restaurant, a donut shop, somewhere safe that will prevent a heated discussion if possible . Then you each can see the true feelings of the heart in your eyes and also discuss how she wants to if she follows through, how to get her belongings back to her . Believing with you for the very best to work out for you .
Recommended Posts