portwine Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) My ex has been acting really strange lately. We're both involved in relationships, and I thought that we both agreed that it was for the best. However, she has been really aggressive lately and apparently wants me back in her life but on her bizarre terms. It all started out with her wanting to be "friends" again. She recently confronted me and implored, pleaded, and begged that we should have a talk. I finally agreed and her reaction just blew me away. She vacillated between episodes of being extremely emotional -- crying, sobbing -- to fits of rage and accusing me for the failure of our relationship. Now here is where it gets interesting: she completely fabricated parts of our past, and the behavior that she accused me of is actually what her modus operandi is! It was so bizarre. She never said that she loved me and wanted and exclusive relationship , but she demanded that I make a decision soon as far as seeing her again. She used highly manipulative and crafty language. At the same time, she admitted that she was seeing someone, but those details didn't concern me and it was something she has to figure out. WTF?? What kind of person is this? She also made strong sexual overtures and for lack of a better word invited me to come over and f*** her that day, which I politely declined. I'm not joking guys and gals.....I feel like I was talking to an alien, and she gave me the creeps to be quite honest. Her delivery was almost akin to a "word salad" at times. The feeling I'm getting is that she wants to keep me around and control me like a pet or something. It's obvious that she doesn't respect the guy she's seeing, and she doesn't respect me either. We're talking about an attractive, mature, and successful woman who cried in front of me like a little kid who didn't get her way. The creepy thing was her lack of affect during these crying spells. Edited May 17, 2016 by portwine
sorano Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 Like that song said,"Going crazy I think they need some prozac"
Methodical Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 I was thinking she may be bipolar as I read how this unfolded. 1
Stercrazy Posted May 18, 2016 Posted May 18, 2016 She doesn't sound stable. I would create some distance.
Buddhist Posted May 18, 2016 Posted May 18, 2016 My ex has been acting really strange lately. No she has always been this stranger, you just didn't see it before. she completely fabricated parts of our past, and the behavior that she accused me of is actually what her modus operandi is! She used highly manipulative and crafty language. She is projecting. She absolutely believes her version of the story but that's all it is, a story that she tells herself. WTF?? What kind of person is this? The person that you were in a relationship with but couldn't see it. I feel like I was talking to an alien, and she gave me the creeps to be quite honest. The feeling I'm getting is that she wants to keep me around and control me like a pet or something. It's obvious that she doesn't respect the guy she's seeing, and she doesn't respect me either. That's exactly what most people do when they enter into a relationship with others. They bring forth a host of expectations they want fulfilled regardless of what the other person wants. They then proceed to manipulate that person in order to get what they want. You've just had enough space form her in order to resolve whatever issues drove you into a relationship with her in the first place. This now enables you to see her as she truly is. We're talking about an attractive, mature, and successful woman who cried in front of me like a little kid who didn't get her way. The creepy thing was her lack of affect during these crying spells. It's not really creepy. You're just understanding that you were in a relationship with a little kid who wanted her way. At the time you mistook it for love. Now you see it clearly. It appears creepy to you now because you know what it was she was expecting you to be to her. Enjoy the revelation. 1
MsJayne Posted May 18, 2016 Posted May 18, 2016 You've moved on, keep it that way. Sounds like she can't bear the idea of you being happy with someone else. I wouldn't even return calls, etc, you'd just be asking for trouble, and your new partner deserves more respect than to have your (h)ex hanging around in the background.
BC1980 Posted May 18, 2016 Posted May 18, 2016 I think this is what happens when exes stay in contact. It's worse because you are both in relationships with other people and trying to maintain some kind of relationship with each other. She sounds extremely emotional, like she hasn't processed the emotions that go along with the end of a relationship. Contact with you probably makes her more volatile. I'd advise both of you to go your separate ways and stop trying to be friends or whatever you are calling it.
Author portwine Posted May 18, 2016 Author Posted May 18, 2016 Is this ex the same MW you were seeing? Yes, but she is no longer a MW for quite some time now. I've moved on, blocked her, etc, but she still finds other ways to contact me. The reason I'm posting this because I feel like I'm under attack from some insidious hostile power. The more I move on, the more persistent she becomes. I don't get it. What kind of person is this anyway? Knowing that I'm seeing/having sex with a beautiful and loving young lady, shouldn't that be motivation for her to leave me alone and to not want to have sex with me?
PinkElephants Posted May 19, 2016 Posted May 19, 2016 Knowing that I'm seeing/having sex with a beautiful and loving young lady, shouldn't that be motivation for her to leave me alone and to not want to have sex with me? It's motivation to pull out all the stops and make sure you stay in your place. She doesn't want you but you'd better not try to move on. You need to remain willing to serve her ego kibbles at all times and you can't do that if you're in a happy, stable relationship. Keep ignoring her. Negative attention is still attention and will encourage her to continue.
Author portwine Posted May 19, 2016 Author Posted May 19, 2016 It's motivation to pull out all the stops and make sure you stay in your place. She doesn't want you but you'd better not try to move on. You need to remain willing to serve her ego kibbles at all times and you can't do that if you're in a happy, stable relationship. Keep ignoring her. Negative attention is still attention and will encourage her to continue. Yes, I am doing my best to stave off the attack. My feelings for her won't disappear overnight of course, but I am determined to stay the course with my new direction. The reason I posted this is because I have never encountered anyone who deployed these bizarre mind games and tactics to get me back, especially now that I'm dating. The stuff that came out of her mouth, her erratic moods swings and temper tantrums, all within a twenty minute time span caught me off guard. It reminded me of a child throwing a hissy fit because she didn't get her way or something, but it was not predicated on establishing something meaningful -more like let's all stick our toes in the water again and see how the water feels.
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