How often is the right amount in terms of texting/calling the woman I'm dating?

[Reltubsirch0412]

I've had two very successful dates with a woman I met through online dating. She said she likes me, finds me very attractive, and she's closing out her eHarmony account, with the inference being because she's found someone she likes (me). We're already kissing and show physical affection to one another.

 

Years ago (before texting even existed) I was involved with a woman who got mad because I didn't call her at least once a day. Because of that I've always believed I'm supposed to call or at least text the woman I'm seeing every single day.

 

In hindsight, other women I've since seen may have felt I was clingy because of it, and I cut that out.

 

The woman I'm seeing now is sometimes slow to respond to texts, and she rarely texts me first. She said she prefers phone calls, but she doesn't always answer, and when she does she doesn't have much to say......although in person she has plenty to say.

 

Personally, during the work week, I prefer texting to calling. I'm an introvert and am not a big phone person.

 

Our last date was Saturday night. We're seeing each other again this weekend. Her last text message to me was Sunday morning. I haven't texted her since.

 

What's the right amount in terms of texting and even calling?

 

I don't want to text or call too much in case she thinks I'm clingy or needy.....but I also don't want to text or call so infrequently that she begins to doubt my interest in her or she thinks I'm not paying enough attention to her.

 

Help is appreciated.

[MsJayne]

Some people like constant contact, some people find it pesky and clingy, you have to figure out which your new lady is. Maybe just outright ask her? Busy people often find texting a waste of time, short texts are OK if someone needs to say something and they can't call, but a whole texted conversation is annoying, in the sense that if you want to have a whole conversation, then call and speak. In saying that, plenty of people tend not to be big on 'phone calls either, unless they actually need to speak to someone as opposed to just calling to chit chat. My current boyfriend started out calling me every day, and it was really getting on my nerves as it meant we had nothing to talk about when we saw each other at the weekend, and also quite often he'd call when I was in the middle of doing something to talk about nothing in particular, so it was an unwelcome interruption. Yeah, I'd outright ask her, because that way you're also opening the door to a conversation about what behaviours turn you off potential partners.

[Lois_Griffin]

I think the MUCH bigger issue here is that she's going to close out her eHarmony profile based on TWO dates with someone.

 

Frightening.

[Jabron1]

What's the right amount in terms of texting and even calling?

 

There is no right answer, mate.

 

I mostly do what I want, with a little compromise here and there to meet their style.

 

Women often just mirror what I do anyway (what's with women doing that, by the way?).

 

Generally though the more serious the relationship, the more need for regular communication.

[PegNosePete]

I don't want to text or call too much in case she thinks I'm clingy or needy.....

Stop over-thinking it! Just do as you please.

 

but I also don't want to text or call so infrequently that she begins to doubt my interest in her

Then make your interest clear. Arrange a 3rd date.