ExpatInItaly Posted May 25, 2016 Posted May 25, 2016 You two have been together such a short time, she's already irritated with you, thinks about breaking up with you, affection and sex have already dropped off, and now wants to take a break altogether. Depression or not, this relationship isn't working. This push-pull dynamic and unfair pressure on you to "fix things" is very unhealthy and will create a very painful and toxic cycle. You shouldn't be in this constant state of confusion, especially after only 6 months! Call off the vacation. Call it quits. Whatever the reason, she is not ready to be a committed girlfriend. She needs to work out her own problems and then date. 1
katiegrl Posted May 25, 2016 Posted May 25, 2016 (edited) She doesn't know. I have no idea either. She wouldn't elaborate, but she gets weird when we text sometimes. Innocent questions like "Oh, what are you guys up to?" when she says she's with a friend annoys her. She doesn't know because pretty much everything you do irritates her... it would be impossible to pin it down to one or two things. That is cuz she is NOT INTO YOU. That's what happens when a chick continues dating a guy she isn't into. Everything he does begins to irritate her - like chalk on a blackboard. BTDT. Not sure why she doesn't come right out and say it. She is so freakin back and forth, saying one thing, then another.... why aren't YOU irritated? Go back and read all these posts again. You KNOW what to do.... not sure why you are unable to do it. NO do not go on vacation with her.... Edited May 25, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Author bar Posted May 25, 2016 Author Posted May 25, 2016 is she from washington state or somewhere over that way? No, we're Canadian. I checked into it and we can't really get any refunds so unfortunately I need to tough the weekend out. I'm pretty set on ending things once it's over; I'm just afraid things will go well and I'll get a false hope and trick myself into believing things changed/can change.
katiegrl Posted May 25, 2016 Posted May 25, 2016 No, we're Canadian. I checked into it and we can't really get any refunds so unfortunately I need to tough the weekend out. I'm pretty set on ending things once it's over; I'm just afraid things will go well and I'll get a false hope and trick myself into believing things changed/can change. Not if everything you do irritates her, especially spending 27/7 together, but good luck. P.S. I could NEVER go on vacation with a man knowing I irritate the hell out of him. I would break up with him and forfeit the money ...... To each his own.
Author bar Posted May 25, 2016 Author Posted May 25, 2016 Not if everything you do irritates her, especially spending 27/7 together, but good luck. P.S. I could NEVER go on vacation with a man knowing I irritate the hell out of him. I would break up with him and forfeit the money ...... To each his own. I have no idea what I do that irritates her, she's never really elaborated on it. We (usually) get along perfectly fine when we're in person. It's usually over text/messages. There's a schedule conflict so we don't get to see each other often though, so most of our communication was through that. I'd cancel it, but she has a bunch of time and money invested too. I feel like it'd be unfair to her because she's been really looking forward to this. She's also scheduled to take her vacation during this at work, so it would really screw her over.
katiegrl Posted May 25, 2016 Posted May 25, 2016 (edited) I have no idea what I do that irritates her, she's never really elaborated on it. We (usually) get along perfectly fine when we're in person. It's usually over text/messages. There's a schedule conflict so we don't get to see each other often though, so most of our communication was through that. I'd cancel it, but she has a bunch of time and money invested too. I feel like it'd be unfair to her because she's been really looking forward to this. She's also scheduled to take her vacation during this at work, so it would really screw her over. Like I said to each his own. All I know is that if my bf said this to me: >>""I like to think I do (love you), but sometimes I don't think so because I get so irritated by you and never want to do anything.", she then suggested a break a break after the vacation and told me she considered breaking up with me a few times because she's anxious telling me things and she's caused me a lot of heartache."<< He would be gone. Not to punish him or anything, but because I deserve a man who KNOWS he loves me, doesn't get irritated by me and isn't constantly thinking about breaking up with me. Again sorry but I would never be able to spend one more minute with a man who said this to me - I would break up with him immediately, and wish him well. I have a high self-esteem though and a lot self-respect. Your choice, hope it works out for ya. Edited May 25, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 sounds like she may have been abused before maybe from a previous relationship and when she did open up her feelings they may have had a fight and broken up. She may have been judged or mocked for opening up her feelings and she wasn't loved in that moment Just speculating here. Because it happened to me. For years I had trouble being vulnerable with men and would try and RUN if they wanted to be vulnerable with me because I was SCARED just in case i would get hurt in the process. It's entirely possible.
CalipsoRose Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 Not sure if you've already answered this, but what was the big fight about? Was it about cheating? If nothing that big, then its been enough time to get over it. Holding onto a fight like that for so long is a little weird. Whats going to happen if you get married and she "feels weird" after every marital fight for months on end? She needs to work on herself, there's nothing you can do about that part. and don't use her anxiety or depression as an excuse for anything. It honestly sounds like she shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone right now, she needs to work on her issues, and I say that with no judgement, as someone who also struggles with depression and anxiety. been there, done that. If things were going to get better, they would have already. You CAN try to stick this out longer, and actively work on your communication with her, but you also need to know when to cut your losses and move on to someone who is better suited.
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