mousse Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 I think that I'll never be completely 'over' my ex. I've mourned the relationship, built a new life that I really enjoy, I am genuinely happy, I have met someone new that I have feelings for...but somehow, I can still feel the love for my ex at times. Not everyday...but from time to time, I listen to a touching song, or watch a touching movie, and I can feel that my heart aches and breaks, even though it's been 6 years since the break up happened, and 7 years that I last saw his face. I was wondering if other people feel the same way?
Frank13 Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 Been 4 years for me and I thought I was nuts because I feel like this too. It is nice to see it's not just me. Some days I am fine and it is much better than 4 years ago but last night I had a dream where someone mentioned her name and that was enough to have her on my mind for a lot of the day. 1
StalwartMind Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 Whether you ever stop loving someone you used to be with is very different to each individual. It can be hard to let go of someone who at one point was very meaningful to you and who also quite possible left a huge impact on your life. Instead of thinking about letting go or stop loving someone, I think it's very healthy to accept that the person will always be a part of you. No matter how you reflect on that period of your life, you can't remove the fact that it happened. Most like to think of love as being an exclusive thing, but again even that depend on circumstances and how you view life in general. As much as a romantic I am and would want someone to only love me, I think it would also be foolish to not acknowledge that someone might have had a past with someone else. We all have a history and it is what has brought us to this very moment in time. The most important thing is to not feel pressured or blame yourself for thinking or feeling any way you may do. I believe most people who are understanding will acknowledge what you say, even if it may be of a concern too. Truth is no matter what we all tell each other, we will never really know if it is actually meant with sincerity. In the end we have to make the choice if we choose to trust in someone or not. Being honest to yourself and others is a plus in my book, because I would always want people to be able to speak their mind, even if others may not always positively receive the things said.
carhill Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 I have strong and positive memories of how I felt when married and loving my exW. That is separate from loving her, which I don't. We still have occasional contact years later and she gets treated with the same tone as anyone lately I've been selling stuff to; friendly and respectful unless given reason not to. That's it. Equal. Don't hate her, don't love her, life goes on.
Marco Valerio Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 Another one here It has been two and a half years and I still have my moments 2
basil67 Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 A big YES from me. I can't begin to imagine still loving any of my exes. That's not to say I hate them or that I'd wish ill on them - I'm just basically indifferent to them. 1
SammySammy Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 Yes. I'm not in love with them anymore. Still think of them - like I still think of others from my past - but what I feel isn't love.
Methodical Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 I think so, especially when they've caused you lots of pain and turmoil. 1
todreaminblue Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 i think you can be over loving someone while still loving them.....where you accept reality is that you wont be together....not suited for each other...but still appreciating the person for who they are and who were in your life and the times you spent together.....i think it is with acceptance not a lack of love you move on to a new love...when your heart is ready to move on...it moves on ...deb
Author mousse Posted May 18, 2016 Author Posted May 18, 2016 A big YES from me. I can't begin to imagine still loving any of my exes. That's not to say I hate them or that I'd wish ill on them - I'm just basically indifferent to them. I became indifferent to my two first loves too. After I forgave them, I got over it and moved on and now I hardly think of them at all and I couldn't care less. But, this time, it feels different. It feels like the love is here to stay. It feels like true love. It confuses me a lot because that guy and i are bad for each other. I don't understand why my heart has those feelings for someone who can destroy me. Love truly doesn't make any sense... I met lots of guys since the break up as part of the therapy is to go out and socialize. I have developed crushes and feelings for different guys, and I got asked out a lot, but this ex still has the central place within my heart. Somehow, even though I had written previously that I didn't love him anymore, because I hadn't felt the ache for a while, I feel I'll always love him. And I believe that the guys I date sense this, and it never works out with them because of that. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 18, 2016 Posted May 18, 2016 There are different kinds of Love. Anybody I ever dated seriously will always hold a special place in my heart. If another one of my EXs were to died, I would grieve. (I was actually devastated when one passed because it was a tragedy that his life was cut short). But you do get over that in love feeling. It's no longer romantic. It's sort of a fondness based on the happier memories.
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