Jolene Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 So my bf surprises me with flowers which he left at my apartment last night when I came home from work. He hasn't done this for months since the "honeymoon stage" wore off (for him, at least). He comes over much later on, like close to bedtime (we sleep together at night at the very least even though we hardly spend any time together on weeknights aside from this intimate sleeping arrangement which isn't a convenient excuse to have sex anymore), and he proceeds to discuss an issue with me that I did not exactly foresee. No bigee, but his tone was serious. He's never had any real issues so far in 7 months. And he always mentions things like "a mature person would..." or "like two adults" and I find this very condescending and critical. So... 1) What's with the flowers? Does this sugarcoat something I should take note of? I don't want flowers with an anti-climax. (and I certainly hope it is not a prelude to breaking up or anything). He seemed affectionate otherwise. 2) Can I ask him to stop using "immature" as his trump card for every issue? Is it namecalling? Abusive? Tiring for sure. I wouldn't dream of accusing him of being "emotionally stunted" every time I have an issue, even though I think it sometimes. ~help would be nice
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Jolene 1) What's with the flowers? Traditional male device to ward off female wrath. 2) Can I ask him to stop using "immature" as his trump card for every issue? Is it namecalling? Abusive? Well, it depends. If you really are immature in some ways, then denying it when it's an issue to him is not smart. Ask him to focus on specific instances of behaviour rather than generalisations. See what you can do in specific cases.
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