livinglife2019 Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 I met this really nice guy! We have been on a good few dates and we have slept together! My issue is I think he is testing me,He has told me he likes me and thinks we have a lot in common, when I'm with him we get on great! I met him the other day after work. But before we met he had texted me to say that he couldn't wait to see me! I'm pretty sure he does like me! However, he sometimes says things on purpose to get a reaction out of me but honestly I dont always pick up on it. Basically he changed the name on his dating profile to "home alone". I seen it and sent him a text joking this was our conversation! Me: Poor you home alone lol Him: Another one you walked into now with the home alone.. I'm already always a step ahead like i was saying last night. Lets see if you can figure this one out (Kiss emoji) Me: I sent a pic from the movie home alone joking. Him: not really, I like being home alone. Me: Honestly I don't get the whole home alone thing. Him Yeah you do. Him: I think you just playing dumb Me: I saw your profile and that is why I messaged you, I was only joking around. you lost me when you said the step ahead? Him: Yeah I know that Him: I'm always a step ahead Him: I was expecting you to comment. I then got bit smart with him and he asked was I getting worked up, I told him I didn't want to make a bigger fool out of myself. He replied " I wanted to see would you say it and you did. As usual i am right again, I have good instincts ( Wink emoji) I was annoyed when I seen he changed his profile name to "home alone" especially as I only left his place this morning but I don't think he knew that I was annoyed. Is he playing games or is he just trying to get a reaction from me? So now I have no idea what to do? any advice would be appreciated?
spiderowl Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 He sounds like he's talking rubbish and trying to pretend he's saying something deeply meaningful and secret that you might 'get' if you are clever enough. I think I'd lose patience with him pretty quickly if he couldn't communicate in a straightforward way. 8
Author livinglife2019 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Posted May 16, 2016 He sounds like he's talking rubbish and trying to pretend he's saying something deeply meaningful and secret that you might 'get' if you are clever enough. I think I'd lose patience with him pretty quickly if he couldn't communicate in a straightforward way. Thanks Spiderowl. I am starting to lose patience!
preraph Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 I think the whole issue is you're communicating via text and can't tell whether the other person is sincere or mad or joking or what. Pick up the phone next time. 1
pteromom Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 Sounds to me like he is trying to put himself into a superior position... He is always "one step ahead". He knew how you would react (therefore he can control how you react.) He was pleased with himself for controlling your reaction. Sounds like he either used you for sex and now he is keeping you on the hook just in case he wants to do it again, or he is setting you up for some kind of controlling/abusive relationship. Either way, sounds like game playing to me. I would back away. If he wants to be real with you, he can drop the games and communicate in a different way. It doesn't really matter if you feel he "likes" you or not. If he is talking to you in a way that makes you feel icky or confused or like he is playing games with you, listen to your instincts! 4
kismetkismet Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 that would reeeally irritate me if someone was constantly trying to prove they were 'one step ahead' of me. Particularly when it's something as silly as that.. it's deliberately condescending. since i don't know the context or his tone or anything, it's possible he's being playful, but it kind of feels like setting a tone that belittles you.. 3
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 Testing? Nah. I think he is teasing/playing with you. I wouldn't read too much into it or over-think it like we all have a tendency to do sometimes. Play with him back! Have fun with it! 1
losangelena Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 I would be irritated. I don't play back when people start to say things like, "I'm always one step ahead, or "I was expecting you to comment." It sounds like insinuation to me, and I shut down when that happens. Either tell me straight or shut the hell up. I hate games. Don't be vague. It's not playful, it's belittling. I also would never have mentioned seeing his profile name change over text. I'd either mention it in person or not at all. I'm unimpressed by this person so far. 4
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 (edited) I think anything written via text, email, social media is ambiguous at best. You simply cannot assign meaning to many things conveyed via text (or any form of written communique), as you cannot hear tone, inflection of voice, etc. OP, he followed his words with lots of kissy and smiley emojis which indicate to me he's teasing you! There was a recent thread from a woman whose guy sent her a JOKE (a bad joke but it was very obvious to me it was meant to be a joke).... via text and she and most everyone else on this board blew that way out of proportion to mean that he was controlling, testing boundaries and every other damn thing negative. She ended up discussing it with HIM and turns out he was JOKING! Teasing her. Which is what I and some others suspected from the get go. Please stop over-thinking this. If you must, ask him about it.... but don't jump the gun and assume he's this that and other thing negative. If it annoys you and/or turns you off, stop seeing him. My $.02 FWIW. Edited May 17, 2016 by katiegrl
Jabron1 Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 He's just winding you up. You caught him out that he'd changed his profile name, and he played it off like 'I meant for that to happen'. What a mountain out of a molehill. Hell, you initiated it: 'Poor home alone lol'. If you give it, you've got to take it. That's what banter is. Not taking your ball and going home lol. 1
dannyglow Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 sounds like games to me. Ask him when he plans to take down his dating profile all together
tayriley Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 Sounds to me like he is trying to put himself into a superior position... He is always "one step ahead". Sounds like he either used you for sex and now he is keeping you on the hook just in case he wants to do it again, or he is setting you up for some kind of controlling/abusive relationship. THIS. it's really condescending to tell someone they are one step behind...it's just a pretentious way of calling you stupid. only guys who are really into controlling/dominating women say bullying sh-t like that. i've seen first hand what abuse the average control freak can wreak on a girl. TREAD VERY CAREFULLY. if it were me, i'd probably just drop him right away. i have no patience for bs game-playing like that. it pisses me off even thinking about the scenario of some guy being condescending toward me. it's not cute. it's not flirty. it's telling me you think i'm less than you and it is NOT ok. 4
Leigh 87 Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 I would be irritated. I don't play back when people start to say things like, "I'm always one step ahead, or "I was expecting you to comment." It sounds like insinuation to me, and I shut down when that happens. Either tell me straight or shut the hell up. I hate games. Don't be vague. It's not playful, it's belittling. I also would never have mentioned seeing his profile name change over text. I'd either mention it in person or not at all. I'm unimpressed by this person so far. Yeah. How insulting. She just left his house so he decides to change his dating profile to " home alone"?! Wtf. I think it's rude! And why is he still in his dating profile after a sleepover? He clearly isn't that taken by the OP. Higher standards. Have them OP. Enjoy. .. because I know you won't get rid if him. 1
scorpiogirl Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 Super childish. There's so much wrong with this whole thing. You slept together but he's still on a dating profile that you keep checking and obviously he's still looking for girls which you then asked about and so he knows that you're insecure and he's got you where he wants you and he's playing childish games that you're tolerating. He sounds like an ass. 1
Audacious Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 we usually refer to guys like him as "full of ***** "
Buddhist Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 Up to you but it sounds like he's got a giant ego.That won't go away in a relationship. I know what I would do. Basically you leave his house after sex and he advertises to the world he's now free.....For what exactly? Oh right, all the other women lined up on the street corner for their turn. I hope you didn't bump into any on your way out. He's trying to get a reaction and he did. Expect more of the same from this one. 3
OnlyHonesty Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 Reading that text conversation was really annoying. I'm all for teasing and having a laugh but I think that was just 100% nonsense. The whole conversation was nothing but a complete waste of precious time. Maybe I'm just not very tolerant haha.
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