Ex slept with someone less than a month of our break up

[eurobreak]

I have been going through a very difficult break up since I am studying abroad in Europe and she came with me and things were weird here because we were both out of our comfort zone. She left back to the US 4 weeks ago and I have worked out and been feeling better.

 

Until yesterday.

 

Mutual friend told me before going into the club that she had sex with another guy who was hot.

 

I feel anger and worked out but it's still there. This pain in my chest. I cried out of frustration and hurt yesterday but today I just have the images and anger. Any suggestions?

[CarrieT]

She is an Ex for a reason. What can you do? Ask your friends to not tell you what she is doing.

 

She is no longer part of your life and her decisions and actions are her's and are should have no impact on you whatsoever. She is a stranger and you shouldn't care what strangers do....

[pteromom]

That is a pretty common thing to do after a breakup. She feels low, unlovable, etc. and wants to be reminded that she is desired.

 

Has nothing to do with you or the depth of what you shared with her.

 

There is no reason to be angry. If anything, feel pity toward her that she needs validation from a stranger.

 

My suggestion is to turn AWAY from thinking about her, and instead focus on things that make you feel happy and/or meaningful.

 

You will be ok. I promise you will.

[BlueIris]

It can sting when the ex has moved on and is with someone else. It’s part of the breakup process. Use it to help you detach even more- and don't watch or listen to tales of the ex.

[Blanco]

It hurts for sure, but here's the thing: If she's your ex, then she was presumably going to sleep with someone again someday, anyway.

 

And as much as it bothers you (totally normal, by the way), the reality is she didn't do anything wrong. Sure, some will agree that it's questionable to be doing such things so soon after the split of a LTR, but personal opinions aside, she didn't do anything unethical.

 

Ultimately, it doesn't matter if she did it a day after the breakup or a year after the breakup.

[kismetkismet]

If it was some guy she met at the bar then chances are she's just trying to blow off some of the hurt she's feeling as well. Lots of people get quite reckless around that 1-2 month stage when the worst of the pain burns off and they want to get drunk and make out with someone to pretend that they feel better. It's not the same as going on romantic dates and having emotional connections with someone else.

 

that said, if i were you i'd ask my friends not to give me details like that. It's one of those things that you're just better off not knowing.

[basil67]

Or if she was the dumpee/mutal agreement, it's entirely likely that she's already worked through her sadness and is now starting to get out and have fun.

[andrem11]

I'm going through the same thing right now. My ex started sleeping with someone under 3 weeks after a 2 year relationship ended. It sucks and it hurts, but I guess it's better to get it out of the way now than waiting around for them and having it happen later on. Each day gets a little easier to handle. Hopefully eventually we will look back and laugh at what we saw in them.

[andrem11]

I found out last Sunday, I was so mad that I was shaking. I could barely sleep that night. I had to leave work early the next day because I couldn't mentally handle it. One week later it still upsets me, but I can see a noticeable improvement from the beginning.