jl27 Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 (edited) About 3 months ago, I got out of a relationship of 2 & 1/2 years. I put myself back out in the "meeting new people" world to make myself feel a bit better after realizing my ex was cheating on me with his ex. I started talking to this guy I met at the bar, we started talking & everything was flowing. I found out he lives 3 hours away from where I live. Ever since then, these past 2 weekends he's drove out to see me. I just got back from a "date" with him, but noticed something strange that I need advice on. Throughout the night, he would tell me about his exes, some of the places he's had sex with girls, whose caught him having sex before. Just random things that would have to do with sex or his exes. He would ask me some questions along those lines, but whenever I would answer, it's like he paid no attention to what I was saying. (Btw, he wasn't always talking about sex, we did talk about other things too) I'm not going down this "treat me like dirt" road again, & in a way, I have a weird feeling in my stomach about this & I'm really not sure how to handle it. He's a really great guy, but I just find it weird/odd how someone could talk about his past sexual encounters. I always thought if people talked about their past, it meant that they aren't truly over them? He told me he got out of a relationship with his last GF a month & 1/2 to 2 months ago, but was technically "over her" in November.... How am I suppose to deal with this? are some of these things red flags? I'm just trying to look after myself because I'm sick & tired of being let down by people & falling for complete douchebags. Advice please? Edited May 15, 2016 by jl27
Arieswoman Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 jl27, This is totally inappropriate disclosure from a man on a first date. (Come to that, I wouldn't appreciate hearing this stuff on subsequent dates either) You should have shut it down straight away and told him that it was out of order. I have a weird feeling in my stomach about this & I'm really not sure how to handle it. That's called a "gut feeling" and you should listen to it. It's telling you to gtf away from this guy who sounds really creepy to me. There are other "normal" guys out there for you to date, so keep your eyes open for them. Good luck x
CarrieT Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Listen to your gut! You are lucky to get early red flags instead of learning these weird things about him months into a relationship. How to deal with it? Call it quits now and move on.
seamos Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 He's a really great guy, but I just find it weird/odd how someone could talk about his past sexual encounters. I always thought if people talked about their past, it meant that they aren't truly over them? Some people can certainly talk about their past sexual encounters without any emotional connection to those people. I, for one, can do it and enjoy it. Now, with that being said, I have to agree w/ the others that what you described seems weird and way too soon. It doesn't sound to me like this is even in a relationship stage yet, right? I think you are right to feel uneasy about this one.
whichwayisup Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Throughout the night, he would tell me about his exes, some of the places he's had sex with girls, whose caught him having sex before. Just random things that would have to do with sex or his exes. He would ask me some questions along those lines, but whenever I would answer, it's like he paid no attention to what I was saying. (Btw, he wasn't always talking about sex, we did talk about other things too) I wouldn't see him again. He's a dud. You've only been out of a R for less than four months, why rush to go date others? Enjoy being on your own being alone. Spend time with your friends, have fun and IF the right guy comes along, someone you actually click with and feel a connection to, then date. 1
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