Shiggs Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Hey guys and gals, just a quick question. My ex of 3 years broke up with me about 5 months ago and I've been strict NC since then. Just wondering if it's normal to still think about her. I don't miss her (maybe I do, idk), I just reminisce about the good times. I'm not trying to reconcile or anything because that ship has sailed. Like I'll be thinking of going to this restaurant, and then my mind connects to the times I went there with my ex and then I just think about how we used to go there. I don't want to have to think about all these places and my connections with my ex because I'm trying to move on. I feel like I'll always be surrounded by these reminders of her and I don't want my mind jumping straight to the thought of her. I can't control it. I'll be moving out east for grad school at the end of the summer so that should make my surroundings fresh and hopefully that'll help. Just wondering if anyone before has experienced this and how they coped with it. I'm sure it's very normal this soon after a break up and it'll get better with time, but still wanted to ask Thanks for reading this
Magikrish Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 hi...read your post..Iam going through the same..But iam a lesbian.. It happens ir-respective to the gender..It is called feelings...After you moved on to your grade school..You will your time killing because of your work...and at times you may get thoughts of her...but you will laugh and move on...
The_Dork_Lard Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Exactly the same thing is happening to me right now. No chance of reconciliation even if it were offered to me. I have a cold and rational understanding of why the breakup occurred, and why it's a good idea to stay away and maintain no contact. It was a 6 1/2 year relationship, and almost 10 months since break-up, the vast majority of which has been no contact (from me, at least).... ...and I still miss her terribly. It's the one part of this breakup that's the hardest for a sentimental bugger like me. It's worse now than at any time during those 10 months. I avoid places we went to, the musical tastes we shared, and even having sex - I'm currently celibate. In the last 2 months I've had to hide away any physical memories of her because it hurts. If I read something in the news and it refers to say 1997, I usually think back to how old I was then, and what I was doing. But I also do that for her too, even though it was years before I met her. If I look out the window and the sun is shining, I wonder what she's doing right at that moment. How do I cope with it? I let myself feel it knowing it will fade in time, probably another few months - that's nothing out of a lifetime. I know it will fade because exactly the same thing happened to me during 3 previous bad breakups, and now I couldn't care less about them. My advice is to just ride it out, and cry if you need to. In those times I find myself wondering what she's doing at that moment, I let myself wonder for a minute or two, then force my concentration back to whatever I'm doing, whether it be reading, writing, driving, or whatever.
Author Shiggs Posted May 15, 2016 Author Posted May 15, 2016 In those times I find myself wondering what she's doing at that moment, I let myself wonder for a minute or two, then force my concentration back to whatever I'm doing, whether it be reading, writing, driving, or whatever. Yeah I understand. I'm just new to this feeling as it's my first real serious relationship. We're both young so in time I'll be better. It really does happen where I'll get reminded of her for like a few seconds and then my mind focuses back to the task at hand. I just wonder how long it'll take for me to not have those reminders of her. Everyone's different so it could just take me longer than normal.
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