Meteo Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 (edited) I've been seeing this girl for the past 2 months. Prior to this, she had just broken up with her boyfriend. The reason she broken up with him was due to him graduating and moving across the country and she didn't want to have a short term relationship. I've been seeing her at least once a week or more and we spend almost every weekend together and it seemed like all was well. Recently I found out that her ex came to her apartment and they had sex. It was the last day he was going to be in town. I always had the vibe that she was still interested in him but she was always wishywashy about it when I asked her about it. I was going to tell her how I felt about her but now I'm having second thoughts. My initial gut feeling is that since they had sex they obviously still have strong feelings for each other and I should move on, but if he's no longer going to be in the picture, then maybe I still have a chance. But I also don't want to be just her 'backup'. What should I do? Edited May 15, 2016 by Meteo
Heracles Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 You already are a 'backup' like you say. She left you no say in the matter when she decided to sleep with her ex when involved with you. You still have a chance? really? You consider yourself lucky that a girl might want to remain with you after she cheated on you? Wow! That's amazing! I love it! Are you a masochist? I suggest you run an experiment. When your gut tells you something, just like in your current situation, don't listen and do the opposite. Keep us posted on what you find out. What should you do? First, have some self-respect and stop enabling people when they treat you like crap. 1
Author Meteo Posted May 15, 2016 Author Posted May 15, 2016 Thanks guys. Just wanted to eliminate that little shred of doubt 1
preraph Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 So I assume you did not have any agreement to be exclusive after so short a time of dating? So there's no harm in her seeing him or you dating other women. It doesn't sound like she's going to be giving him up for you, but you could at least have a talk and tell her you just need to find out what her intentions are and find out whether there is any hope for you two to have an exclusive relationship, but I am pretty sure there is not at this time. Now, with him away, he will be dating other women, and she may eventually lose him to another woman -- but at least for awhile, since they didn't break up for any reason except distance, I would expect them to see each other occasionally and sleep together. Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear. I would honestly just recommend you keep dating other women.
Author Meteo Posted May 15, 2016 Author Posted May 15, 2016 I just met with her today and pretty much confirmed my suspicions. It was my fault for letting this drag on for 2 months. I should have clarified this from the start. Thanks for all your replies. 1
smackie9 Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Tip: don't date people who are fresh out of a relationship, especially with this type of circumstance where they are separating due to having to move for school/job. What's probably going to happen is her moving to be with him. P.S. don't be that guy who will take what he can get regardless of her having some attachment to someone else. Keep your self worth and keep on walkin.
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