Just curious... How did some of you MEET that OM/OW/MM/MW???

June 22, 2005

I wanted to reply to the thread from LatinGoddess but it was locked. I wanted to comment on Newbby's reply, I think that is who it is. Anyhow, she said:

" i for one as an ow (and i think you'll find its the case of the majority), did not try to lure the mm away with sex, i did not even flirt with him, but initially found his advances quite flattering. when he began to use any excuse to come to my door, i was actually getting bit worried, i was considering talking to one of his friends and asking him to tell him to leave me alone.

the night it actually begun, i was extremely drunk, i cant remember the evening at all. i had decided to use the opportunity of the evening to get to know him and his wife as a couple and become friends with his wife so that he would realise and leave me be. unfortunately thats not the way it happened. his wife and everyone else apparently left at some point in the evening. i woke up and put two an two together, thats when he began to use the magic of the words."

So, you had sex with this MM for the first time when you were extremely drunk, right? And you didn't really want anything to do with but you found his advances quiet flattering. What a jerk of a man, married or not, to have sex with a woman when she was extremely intoxicated! Your judgement wasn't very clear that night. If he truly cared for you, he would of put off sex until you were able to make that decision with a clear head.

I have slept with men (but NOT MM) when I was drunk and the next day I felt so awful about what I did. I lost total respect for a man who would have sex the first time with a woman when she is drunk. I admit I wasn't thinking cleary either.

June 22, 2005

i did remember him trying to kiss me earlier in the evening and me pushing him away, i guess after that i didnt have my wits about me anymore.

June 22, 2005

He was my marriage counselor

June 23, 2005

Originally posted by scarlyjones
He was my marriage counselor

scarlyjones, your kidding, right? If not, I had no clue you were the OW.

June 23, 2005

Hello all.... I started this thread because I was wondering how some people become involved. I am in a situation right now and a bit weary about it. I am married and thinking of divorcing my husband.

There is a person at work who had been flirting with me and I returned the flirting as well. Although that is NOT the reason I am thinking of divorce I had a "crush" on this man but he is married and so am I and I am actually trying to avoid him at all costs!

I posted in a different forum and some say that I was "obsessed" with my crush, some said that eventually something will happen between the co-worker and I... although I care to disagree with that.

See, this man started to "pursue" me... or so I thought he was. He was staring quite a bit and showing up in places that I wouldn't think he would be at. He would ask me questions that were quite obvious.... he should've known the answers to them. But I never had any type of attraction to him (but he is quite good looking), so I "sensed" that he was attracted to me and started really liking him possibly because of the attention I was recieving and really actually became infatuated with him. It has died down quite a bit now but I still see him everyday at work.

We would flirt with each other and it was getting nerve racking for me whenever I would see him because I never knew when he would show up because he would show up at the least expecting times. As of right now, we kind of settled down with the flirting although we email each other on a regular basis. Mostly just me emailing him stupid lines like how are you doing and he would reply but never instigated the first email. I stopped emailing him to see if he would email me first but he didn't and he looked as if I were mad at him.

When we are alone, he talks to me and asks me somewhat personal questions but nothing too personal. Today he was sitting with a friend of his and I was bending down to pick up a pen that I dropped and I heard one of them say "look at that" and my friend co-worker told me they both looked to check me out.

So what I am getting to is I was wondering how you all met your OM/OW/MM/MW because I don't know if this is just friendly flirting or if I should really be cautious and what are the red flags here? Are your situations similar??? I know I will get a lot of crap with this one especially from the ones who have read my other posts. But thanks for letting me be curious! It helps to know that others have been through the same situations. Thanks!

June 23, 2005

i met my MM on the net, he was n tha army stationed in iraq, and separated *with divorce papers going up in the courts*..... but later, he told me that his wife wanted him back and to work things out,etc...me and him still talk, but i dont know whats btween us

June 23, 2005

I have had relationships with - if that is what you want to call it- with MM (but no sex--well sorta with 1 but anyway) and I met them both at workplaces. Actually both of them were my bosses LOL. Actually the one I "sorta" had sex with....yeah his wife divorced him because of me. Made me feel awful. But I was 17 at the time and he was 27 and he got me boozed up out of my mind at work. So I think she did the right thing by divorcing him (their poor kids though).

My current guy has a girlfriend and we met a looong time ago and have been friends for years.

June 23, 2005

About why I asked... Post: 30 | Quote:

Hello all.... I started this thread because I was wondering how some people become involved. I am in a situation right now and a bit weary about it. I am married and thinking of divorcing my husband.

There is a person at work who had been flirting with me and I returned the flirting as well. Although that is NOT the reason I am thinking of divorce I had a "crush" on this man but he is married and so am I and I am actually trying to avoid him at all costs!

I posted in a different forum and some say that I was "obsessed" with my crush, some said that eventually something will happen between the co-worker and I... although I care to disagree with that.

See, this man started to "pursue" me... or so I thought he was. He was staring quite a bit and showing up in places that I wouldn't think he would be at. He would ask me questions that were quite obvious.... he should've known the answers to them. But I never had any type of attraction to him (but he is quite good looking), so I "sensed" that he was attracted to me and started really liking him possibly because of the attention I was recieving and really actually became infatuated with him. It has died down quite a bit now but I still see him everyday at work.

We would flirt with each other and it was getting nerve racking for me whenever I would see him because I never knew when he would show up because he would show up at the least expecting times. As of right now, we kind of settled down with the flirting although we email each other on a regular basis. Mostly just me emailing him stupid lines like how are you doing and he would reply but never instigated the first email. I stopped emailing him to see if he would email me first but he didn't and he looked as if I were mad at him.

When we are alone, he talks to me and asks me somewhat personal questions but nothing too personal. Today he was sitting with a friend of his and I was bending down to pick up a pen that I dropped and I heard one of them say "look at that" and my friend co-worker told me they both looked to check me out.

So what I am getting to is I was wondering how you all met your OM/OW/MM/MW because I don't know if this is just friendly flirting or if I should really be cautious and what are the red flags here? Are your situations similar??? I know I will get a lot of crap with this one especially from the ones who have read my other posts. But thanks for letting me be curious! It helps to know that others have been through the same situations. Thanks!

well it sounds like he is a typical mm, he is lusting over you, but that is that.

i know it seems as though they must be really into you, but they just really want to get in to you!

thats all, it is addictive, because they make you feel just so desirable, perhaps because they go out of their way more to compensate for the fact that they are married. it is why the situation is so confusing and complex. the thing to keep in mind is that it is ultimately extremely detrimental to the ow's well being.

if you have not felt good about yourself for a while, this thing can get very addictive. thats a warning.

those are the red flags right there, you are getting addicted to it, therefore you have to work ultra hard at keeping things in check in your mind.

take it for what it is, a small compliment, its not much of one though, he has the hots for you, he may seem like he appreciates alot more about you, but its all just about the game of getting a piece.

it has taken me til now to see my xmm for what he is, i was so addicted to the whole thing, he played the game extremely well but ultimately it was an empty shell, he was an empty shell. its all about himself.

i gave him the chance after a year long a, to become friends, well all he knows how to do is play that game, he cant be friends even, he doesnt know how.

i am now arranging to go on more dates with a really nice lovely respectful guy i met.

i havent spoken to the mm for a few days, i thought i missed him and was in love, but i see now that i am not, i suddenly just could see it all so clearly.

i wish you to listen really carefully here to other peoples stories.

the majority of mm are the same, it sounds as though yours is too.

the other thing, your marriage, are you sure the problems are irresolvable??

could it possibly be that this chemistry between you and mm has given you a taste for the excitement. i can totally understand that, but remember that a truly good man is sometimes hard to come by.

dont do something you may regret.

June 23, 2005

i just read your other posts, and i woud say you are certainly addicted to this man.

i'm a little confused about your marriage though, you started off by saying it was good, and then the more you obsessed over the mm the worse you spoke of your husband.

are you sure you know anymore, i dont know if its a good idea to try to sort out what you feel about your marriage whilst you have this addiction to this mm.

i can honestly say i completely believe 100% that this mm has only feelings of lust for you, and he will never break up his own marriage.

you were questioning in another post how can he be willing to take such a risk just for sex.

well i used to think the same about my mm, he took stupid risks for someone that wanted to stay married, he never said he wanted to stay married btw he still now maintains he wants to leave!! i dont believe him anymore.

but it is just lust and it is just about sex and an ego boost, and he will do anything he can to get it, EXCEPT leave his wife (for good). also in your posts i notice that you havent actually told him you are married and are witholding information whilst not completely hiding it.

be completely honest with yourself, are you fantasizing about what will happen between the two of you when you are a free agent, because if you are, then the danger here is all to do with YOUR feelings.

June 23, 2005

Originally posted by scarlyjones
He was my marriage counselor

Dammit! That always happens?!?

June 23, 2005

Hello, thanks for reading my other posts! See I originally posted here to get advice on if it was my imagination that this guy wanted me or if he really did want me. At first I didn't disclose my well-being in my marriage because at first all I wanted was advice. I thought I was going crazy and that I really WAS onsessed with this man.

I have NEVER been attracted to a MM and that's whay I thought I was going crazy. But as I started getting really good feedback from others, I finally let it all loose. I didn't want anyone to think that I am "hating" my husband because of this crush. In fact, I have been unhappy with my husband for about a little over a year now. This crush started around March/April.

But, yes, I am doing what I can to stop this crush from getting in my head. ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I can. It's tough though because I see him everyday at work.

But with my marriage.... I don't really think that things can be resolved between us because he has done so much to me that I am beyond the point of no return. I just have to sort through my mind and decide how I am going to go about actually leaving him. There's just so much to deal with. I don't like drama. And we have a home and the kids and a dog and vehicles. I just don't like drama so I try to put it off as long as I can until I just can't take it anymore.

Thanks though.... you have really good advice to give!

June 24, 2005

I met my ex-MM in a business meeting 13 years ago. We were working on a project together. He fell in love with me and left his wife, saying she was a wonderful person but the marriage was long over. We had a fairy tale romance which turned into a nightmare when after we lived together/were a couple for a total of almost 3 years he went back to his wife/home. I avoided him for 7 years despite his communications via phone/letters every year or so that he was still in love with me. Two years ago , while I was in a major depression he initiated contact again, and this time I was available I guess. After weeks of rebuffing him, I gave in when he told me was planning to get a divorce and was still in love with me, and asked me to give him a chance to pick up where we had left off. I agreed to see him, after all those years. You know the end of the story. Two years of heartbreak and trying to find a place for him in my life now as a friend or nothing....because he's still married and always will be. And I am no longer depressed and plan to find true love around the next corner!

June 25, 2005

Originally posted by StillHurtin
scarlyjones, your kidding, right? If not, I had no clue you were the OW.

lmao

Of course Im kidding !!!!

June 26, 2005

Originally posted by scarlyjones
lmao

Of course Im kidding !!!!

LOL! At first I thought you were kidding and thought it was a hilarious answer but then again I thought "Omgosh, what if she is serious!" LMBO!

June 27, 2005

MW met her OM at work. He has known me as long as he has known her. He was single and knew she was married with 2 children. He flirted with her as you do with your "crush" for a few months. She flirted back because it was 'only friendly'.

She felt there might be something there what with all the eye contact and him telling her she was beautiful and all, so she asked him. She told him she felt an interest also, so they kissed to see what that was like.

Well, about eight months later she sat crying on the floor as I confronted her about the condom I found in the trash. MW still works with her OM. They don't have a relationship to speak of anymore and ours will never be the same again.

I read your other threads and you've been given good advice. I would say you are already involved emotionally, its only a matter of time for the physical.

originally posted by Lucrezia Borgia on your thread - Should I tell my CRUSH i have a CRUSH???If you want this to go no further, you have to end it now. That means you'll have to tell the guy that you don't feel your relationship is appropriate, that it will damage your marriages, and that you want no further contact with him that isn't strictly professional. But... to be honest, it sounds like you want to 'accidently end up having an affair' with him. You'll have to decide for yourself if the attraction you feel for each other is worth giving up your marriages and families for. In the heat of the moment, its pretty easy to fool yourself into thinking that you aren't really putting all of that at risk, but you are.

Cranium

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=57566

July 1, 2005

I met my MM at work. I knew he was married and he always flirted with me. I on the other hand was still trying to get my husband to come back to me. One day my husband told me I should move on b/c asked if I would go psycho if he had a GF b/c he is in love. Well serious blow to ego. I still didn't except any of his advances new he was married even made comments when he flirted like "maybe you should ask your wife"

On a particular low day he told me how beautiful I was, there it began.

Sign In

Just curious... How did some of you MEET that OM/OW/MM/MW???

Recommended Posts

guest

newbby

scarlyjones

StillHurtin

How_Do_I_Know

Syncerity

XNemesisX

newbby

newbby

tiki

How_Do_I_Know

kkat

scarlyjones

StillHurtin

cranium

munchkin

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...